Dead Duck in New Orleans City Park

You never know what you'll find in New Orleans.  Ours is a city of mystery and surprises.  Some of the surprises are pleasant.  Some of the surprises are unsettling and weird.  Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.

I'm not gonna tell you about the time I found all the sacrificed animals in burlap sacks under trees in City Park.

I'm not gonna tell you about the time I encountered the Skunk Ape.

I'm not gonna tell you about the time I found the voodoo painting in  the crotch of a tree way back in City Park where nobody goes.  You can see that painting in our lobby.  

I'm not gonna tell you about the time I found the pile of pineapples where there was no good reason for pineapples to be there.

I'm not gonna tell you, today, about how I discovered the secret nudist colony in City Park.

I'm not gonna tell you about The Suicide Oak.

I'm not gonna tell you about the demon skull that was kicked into the bushes on the bank of Bayou Saint John.

I'm not gonna tell you about the time I was walking our dog on the back trails of the park and we met a crow that spoke French.  I'm not gonna tell you what that crow said to us before it flew away never to been seen again.

I'm not gonna tell you what it means to fall in love with New Orleans.  You'll find that out when you get here.

The great City of New Orleans is an onion of a place.  It contains layers under layers under layers under even more layers.  The more you peel off, the more you'll feel like crying over how beautifully mysterious it all is.

Instead, I am gonna tell you about the dead duck I found in City Park the other morning:

You never know what you'll find in New Orleans.  Some things will make you smile with equanimity and perfect understanding.  Some things will make you scratch your head in puzzlement.  Why?  Why does New Orleans exist?  Why is New Orleans the way it is?  Answer: Because God dictated it should be so.

Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.  

--- If you are looking for someplace to stay when you visit New Orleans, I happen to be an innkeeper.  I run the #1-ranked place to stay in New Orleans (it's been #1 since April 2014 according to TripAdvisor).  You could do a lot worse.  Believe me.  You can choose a lot worse.  If you are looking to experience authentic New Orleans off the usual tourist radar, you know where to find us: in the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue: La Belle Esplanade.

La Belle Esplanade: Celebrating 100 Years!

Everyone is welcome

We're celebrating 100 years.  How many?  You read that number correctly: 100. I didn't leave off a few zeros.  100 is the right number.

100 years of what?  Well, that's for us to know and you to find out.

You'll be surprised by all the things you'll find in our lobby.  It's a real museum stuffed full of curiosities.  When we bought the house, the lobby was used as storage, much as it is now I suppose, full of boxes and bicycles, odds and ends that no one knew where else to put them.  Now it's a meticulously curated and arranged display of odds and ends.  Everything is perfectly in its place and the collection is always expanding as we get donations.  Our lobby is an odditarium.

There are some things in our lobby that are over 100 years old.  Some things are older.  Oh, if only we could turn back time...



You didn't see that coming did you?  I didn't.  Inserting that video was Tammie the Housekeeper's idea.

Tammie the Housekeeper

I was in the Navy when Cher made that video.  I wasn't in that same spot, on that same ship, but I can tell you that it's not exactly an accurate representation of life at sea, or in port for that matter.  I did wear that white uniform though, in summer.  They were made of polyester.

While I own a lot of hats, I no longer own a US Navy "dixie cup."  However, when I do have a fly fishing bucket hat and when I wear it, which is rarely since I don't fish, I wear it with the brim turned up all around, just like in my sailing days.  I don't wear it à la Gilligan, who is wearing his sailor hat below the way I wear my bucket hat.

Bob Denver

Speaking of John Denver (that's not a typo), I've been reading his autobiography recently.  Not straight through.  I read a lot of books at the same time, so, interspersed with all the philosophy, travel literature, New Orleans history books, hagiographies, and collections of old Gallup poll results, I squeeze in a few pages of John Denver's life story, as told by the man himself.  I have nothing to say about what I've read about him so far.  This is just a digression that leads nowhere.

Our lobby

So what hundred years are we celebrating exactly?  Didn't I say that's for Frau Schmitt and I to know and you to find out?  I'm sticking by my guns here, just filling up space, killing time, chewing the fat, and smoking a cigar on a lazy New Orleans afternoon.

Did you know the Finck Cigar Company, of San Antonio, TX was founded in the 1880s?  Our house was built in 1883.  Coincidence that good things happen at the same time?  Here's the history of Finck Cigars, if you are interested.  

So, as I sit here wasting your time, making you wonder what 100 years Frau Schmitt and I are celebrating (100 years in business? ---not quite yet, but we're getting closer) let me tell you that if you're looking for an honest cigar at a good price, you can do a lot worse than buying a box of Finck's Travis Clubs.

Now, I haven't wasted your time at all, have I?  That's a solid tip you should follow, just like our restaurant recommendations when you stay with us.

Enjoyed by discriminating connoisseurs

We have a cigar box museum in our lobby.  We have and many, many, many, many, many other things in our lobby.  We have curiosities and curios scattered all through the house but most of them are concentrated in the odditarium.  We have so many things that we've got an intern from one of the local colleges to catalog all we have.  It's a bewildering collection of gewgaws and gimcrackery.  He's getting a good education.

You'll find out when you come to stay with us.

Outthink your New Orleans vacation at...

La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Skunk Ape Sighting in New Orleans City Park

City Park in New Orleans, LA

There are parts of City Park that most visitors never see.  City Park in New Orleans is larger than Central Park in New York City.  If you are in New Orleans for a few days, you'll usually stay around the main entrance of the park, where the art museum is and the sculpture garden and Morning Call.  

Further back, there are all sorts of things that won't be of interest to the casual visitor.  One of these things is a forest off Harrison Avenue, which runs through the park.  I'm not going to give you directions because you probably won't go there anyway, so, why waste the typing?

I was in the forest the other day, which is threaded through with paths between underbrush and oak trees and cypress trees and pine trees and other trees I don't know the names of.  It can be kind of creepy back there, full of odd noises and unexplainable sensations.  Some people say there is voodoo back there and I've seen evidence of that.  Some people say the forest is haunted.  While I've felt the hair on my arms stand on end, I've never seen any direct evidence of ghosts.  

Yesterday, though, I did see a skunk ape.  At least, I thought it was a skunk ape.  I still think that.  It certainly smelled like a skunk ape.

Mysterious things in City Park, New Orleans, LA

I was walking along, minding my own business, as I approached a tree by a lagoon.

A cryptic tree in City Park, New Orleans, LA

Something stunk like rotten cabbage.  You know what I mean?  I walked under the tree and the smell just got stronger.  Woof!  After I was under the tree, I heard a rustling overhead.  When I turned, that's when I saw it: the skunk ape!

Skunk apes are more commonly seen in Florida.  In fact, there hasn't been a documented skunk ape sighting in Louisiana (arguably until now).  What has been sighted in Louisiana is the Honey Island Swamp Monster, which is similar to the a skunk ape.  

I'm no cryptozoologist, so I can't tell the difference between a Honey Island swamp monster and a skunk ape.  It would probably take DNA tests to determine what, exactly, I saw.  I'm leaning more toward skunk ape, though, and not just because it's more fun to say.  Looking at some old footage of the Honey Island Swamp Monster, I remain convinced that what I saw was a skunk ape.




Naturally, I didn't have my camera with me.  Isn't that always the way?  I did go back today to take a picture to serve as proof that I saw the skunk ape.  I provide it to you below...

This is a picture of the branch on which the skunk ape was sitting when I spotted him:

The skunk ape tree

When the skunk ape realized that I knew he was there, he waved.  Then, before I realized what was happening, he ran away.  There were no signs of him when I went back to the tree today.

You never know what you are going to see in New Orleans.

If you want to learn more, you know where to find me.  I'm at La Belle Esplanade, where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.

Update, March 2017:  Please visit The New Orleans Oddtiarium to read about the good work The Odditarium has been doing trying to track down the skunk ape in City Park.  The Odditarium is a makeshift museum that has it's own website.  It's headquartered in our lobby at La Belle Esplanade.  Our small boutique inn really is the most interesting place to stay in America's most interesting city!  The skunk ape reports can be found by clicking the "Odditarium News" tab on The Odditarium's website.

À votre santé.

An Innkeeper's Work Is Never Done

A flower in the Rex Den

Yesterday was Mardi Gras.  Boy, what a day.  Like all good days, though, it had to come to an end.  It's 4:30AM on Ash Wednesday as I write this.  There's no time like the present to start one's penance.

You might think I'm going to talk about Mardi Gras but, frankly, I've been talking about Mardi Gras every day for the past two weeks and now that's it's over I'm done.  I'd like to just take a moment to share something with you.  It's time for my favorite feature of this blog:

Mail Call!

A reservation came in yesterday with the following note attached:

"No questions! Very excited for our stay. Your blog/website and writing style is authentic and draws in the reader... we are looking to enjoy the city on foot/public transport, both the usual spots but hopefully more time spent in the overlooked places."

I spoke with this chap on the phone.  Not only did he call the blog authentic.  On the phone he told me it's mesmerizing.  Maybe you agree.  For my part, I like this guy already.  It seems like he has a good head on his shoulders.

Copyright Emma Fick

In other news from the mailbag, Emma Fick has finished an illustration of La Belle and its sister houses.  That link will take you to other illustrations she's done of New Orleans for a book she's working on.  If you want to see her previous book about Serbia, it's here.  

We haven't met Emma in person, yet.  She's due to stop by the house soon for a tour and to get some of the inside skinny as to what the house actually holds (hint: it's a secret until you get here).

Another flower in the Rex Den

Well, it's 5:00 now and I have to sign off.  I have things to do.  You wouldn't know it to look at us but neither Frau Schmitt nor I are on vacation.  An innkeeper's work is never done.  It's a good thing we love what we do.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
....where the rest comes easy.

We Have An Accordion In Our House

It's morning in New Orleans!

We have a new accordion in our house.  I know many of our regular readers can say the same thing but I felt compelled to mention that we have one now, too.  Keeping up with the Joneses, and all that jazz.

Naturally, I haven't taken a picture of our new accordion because I'm lazy and also because our new accordion is only new to us.  It's really an old accordion that came via FedEx yesterday.  From what I understand, it won't make any noise beyond a squeezed wheeze.  This is fine because neither Frau Schmitt nor I play the accordion.  We haven't even tried it out.  We've only admired it with our eyes.  We don't know enough about playing the accordion to noodle on our new (to us) accordion.  It's a conversation piece.

Look at the negative space between the E and the x in Fedex on the side of a Fedex truck.  That space forms an arrow pointing forward.  The people who designed the Fedex logo didn't realize it when they made it.  It was serendipity.

Once you see that arrow, you can't stop seeing it.  It's right there.  Things happen like that sometimes.  I should know.  I live in New Orleans.

Shane, which isn't her real name, stayed with us recently and she offered to send us her accordion for the cost of shipping.  Naturally, we agreed.  We like it when our guests help us build up La Belle Esplanade's mythology and when they help us build up the unique collection of oddities we house in our lobby.  Our lobby is a veritable odditarium.  Shane, which, again, is not her real name, sent us the fabled White Accordion.  

When I opened the box, I got a jolt of the shivers.  Then, I got a shot of the jitters.  Then, I got the shakes.  Then, I got the heebie-jeebies.  Then, I got the hot sweats.  Then, I let out a long whistle after I unwrapped all the packing: Whoooo-oooo-wheeet.  This was a lucky day in the Big Easy.

Thanks, Shane.

Shane says this is the greatest accordion song of all time:


I had to promise I would play this song when I installed the White Accordion in our inn.  This one is for Shane (not her real name).

I was corresponding with someone recently who has been to New Orleans and he asked if I knew where he had been while he was here.  "It was a high-ceilinged hall, like a beer hall, and they were playing zydeco music, of course, and they served all the New Orleans food you have to eat when you are in New Orleans like alligator and boiled crawfish.  Do you know where that was?"

Zydeco music is actually very uncommon to find in New Orleans, so the "of course" was a little misleading.  Also, Frau Schmitt and I rarely go anywhere that offers alligator on the menu.  I know where he's talking about but I'm not going to name it.  If you want to go, ask me when you're here.

People often confuse Cajun with Creole.  Cajuns play zydeco music  and they eat alligator.  Heck, Cajuns eat anything that moves.  Just look at the signs at the Baton Rouge Zoo.  They all contain recipes and they all start with, "First you make a roux."

The accordion is not a Creole instrument.  New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz.  New Orleans jazz is built around the trumpet, the tuba and the banjo.  Most people don't know that, but it's true.  You don't hear many banjo players anymore but if you play the jazz tuba, you can find steady work in New Orleans.

Is the Waltz of the Monsters done yet?  Here's an example of zydeco music:


You'll find people playing the washboard in New Orleans, but that isn't a Creole instrument.  It's used more often in Louisiana country music than it is in Louisiana city music.

I hate to tell you this, but few people speak French in New Orleans.  That's the language you'll most often hear, after English, out in the swamp.  If you are in St. Bernard Parish, you'll hear Spanish, too.  The people speaking Spanish aren't Cajun.  They are Los Isleños.

Then, to tell you about the rest of my day, I went to Parkview Tavern to rehydrate myself after going to the Creole Country Sausage Company.  I'll tell you, it's hard being a professional innkeeper.  We have enough sausage to last us a long while.  It's delicious.

I was talking to six of my cronies, comrades, compatriots, or whatever you want to call them, and we got to more talking and then we talked some more.  Mike, who's the youngest of us, said, "You know who we remind me of?"  

It turned out we all did know who we remind him of:



Stay tuned for further updates on the storied White Accordion and other irrelevant news.  If you choose to stay with us, remind me to tell you the story about the time I met Robert Vaughn.  It's a real thriller-diller.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade, your boutique bed and breakfast inn in New Orleans.

The Best Snow Balls in New Orleans

Plans for our dining room

It's a new year and changes are afoot at the inn.  We like to keep improving on things.  Never a dull moment.  I can't reveal too much at this point, but I can tell you that we've just installed new display cabinets in the lobby---we are constructing a museum in the lobby.  Don't ask too many questions, when you check in you'll see what we mean.  You'll be speechless.

We also have some plans for Les Fleurs Suite.  That project may take a bit longer because your humble narrator is going to have to spend a lot of time out in Cajun Country, which means out in the swamp.  I don't go to the swamp often because I'm allergic to alligators and snakes, but I love what we do so I'll do what it takes.

That's my promise to you.

7 days a week

If you want to know where the best snow balls in town are, well, that's subjective matter.  Snow balls are a seasonal business, a lot of places aren't open in the winter.  I think Baby's Snack Box is open, but they sell nachos and hot dogs as well as snow balls.  They sell other things, too.  I like going to Baby's but I don't like going to the other side of town.

I was on Plum Street the other day when I saw the sign above.  Unfortunately, it's winter and Plum Street Snow Balls isn't open right now.  A lot of people around town swear Plum Street Snow Balls are the best.  

Plum Street Snow Balls

When I go Uptown, which isn't as often as I would like, I tend to go to Snow Wizard or to Hansen's Sno-Bliz.  More people know about the snow ball stands Uptown than the ones that are Downtown, but that doesn't mean the one's Downtown are less good, only that they're less famous.  

The same is true about B&Bs.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.