The Man At the New Orleans Airport

Who is the Man-at the-New Orleans-airport?  No one knows his name.  He is a cypher wrapped in a trench coat.  Like The Shadow, he sports a wide brimmed black fedora hat.

The Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport on Tuesday.

The Shadow.

No one knows the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport's name.  Like the Spider, though, he lives a life of mayhem and havoc as he saves the day against the forces of evil.  Well, actually, there isn't that much havoc at the airport.  It a pretty smoothly-run operation over there.

The Spider.

When Jimmie Benoit dropped his lollipop in the air conditioning vent, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport gave him a new one from out of his pocket.  Then he gave him another lollipop: it was a orange Tootsie Pop.

When Lyla Pham couldn't find any straws, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport canvassed the food court to fetch her not one, but, two---one for the airport and one for the air.

When Lionel Edwards was shy twenty-four cents for bus fare, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport gave him not only a mint-condition Louisiana commemorative quarter but also a shiny new Sacagawea dollar.

Before Lady Gaga's plane had landed, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport made himself known.  The paparazzi chased him instead of Ms. Gaga.  She arrived at her hotel unmolested for a relaxing vacation in the real New Orleans off the usual tourist radar.  She didn't spend all her time on Bourbon Street.  

A photo of a random New Orleans hotel.

When one of the baggage handlers was stung by a bee on the tarmac, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport was there in a flash to administer an epi-pen.  He slipped a prophylactic spare epi-pen in the poor fellow's pocket.

That time the bomb-sniffing dog couldn't decide which way to go, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport tugged on his leash to Terminal Foxtrot, the secret terminal that is underground.  The bomb was never detonated, thanks be to the mysterious Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport.

When the bonfires had burned out on the levee on Christmas Eve, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport commandeered one of the klieg lights on top of the control tower.  He signaled to Santa the way to New Orleans and a happy Christmas was had by all.

When a stork landed, exhausted, at the edge of the Park-n-Ride lot, it was the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport who took a speeding cab to deliver the baby at Touro Hospital.  The mother asked how she could thank him.  The Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport said that his mother's name was Felicity and he thought that would make a nice middle name for the baby.

The Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport is not a celebrity.  Most people don't believe he exists.  If you go to the same spot every day, though, at 3:00PM (New Orleans time) you'll find the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport in the same exact place, in the same exact position.

The Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport on Wednesday.

When the clock strikes 3:01, the Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport springs into action.  He has touched the lives of thousands, yet no one knows his name.  Don't worry if you run into trouble at the New Orleans airport.  The Man-at-the-New Orleans-airport, like the spirit of Christmas, will be there.

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