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| An angle on New Orleans breakfast |
Ours is a small boutique operation and we're inclined to serve things at breakfast that you wouldn't normally eat at home.
We don't keep ketchup in the inn, for instance. No one ever asks for it, luckily, otherwise we would have to keep some Creole catsup on hand at all times. We use other sauces. We don't use industrial amounts of other industrial food products either. We go to our local cheesemonger rather than to Costco, for instance. Costco is for toilet paper and facial tissues.
When we serve something, it is usually something artisanal, purchased from a local craftsperson or baker or chef. When you stay with us, you are not staying in a French Quarter hotel and you are not eating at a French Quarter restaurant that churns through thousands of guests a week. We only have five suites and each suite accommodates no more than two people.
The average length of stay at our inn, when all the numbers are tallied and divided, is a little shy of five nights per visit. We encourage people to stay longer rather than shorter. We don't encourage people to visit New Orleans longer because we'll make more money that way. It doesn't matter to us where they stay.
They can stay at one place for two nights and with us for three nights. They don't have to stay all five nights with us, though most people who split their time between two locations, though, find themselves wishing they had just settled here. Our experience is that people who stay longer understand New Orleans better. They have a richer experience. They appreciate the city and its many flavors with more gusto and savor. If you want to stay in New Orleans for a day, there are plenty of hotels anxious to fill rooms.
To us, you aren't a body filling a bed. You are company. We hope you don't choose to stay with us because we have a roof at night and a hot meal in the morning. We hope you choose to stay with us to learn about New Orleans. We are New Orleans ambassadors.
We don't keep ketchup in the inn, for instance. No one ever asks for it, luckily, otherwise we would have to keep some Creole catsup on hand at all times. We use other sauces. We don't use industrial amounts of other industrial food products either. We go to our local cheesemonger rather than to Costco, for instance. Costco is for toilet paper and facial tissues.
When we serve something, it is usually something artisanal, purchased from a local craftsperson or baker or chef. When you stay with us, you are not staying in a French Quarter hotel and you are not eating at a French Quarter restaurant that churns through thousands of guests a week. We only have five suites and each suite accommodates no more than two people.
The average length of stay at our inn, when all the numbers are tallied and divided, is a little shy of five nights per visit. We encourage people to stay longer rather than shorter. We don't encourage people to visit New Orleans longer because we'll make more money that way. It doesn't matter to us where they stay.
They can stay at one place for two nights and with us for three nights. They don't have to stay all five nights with us, though most people who split their time between two locations, though, find themselves wishing they had just settled here. Our experience is that people who stay longer understand New Orleans better. They have a richer experience. They appreciate the city and its many flavors with more gusto and savor. If you want to stay in New Orleans for a day, there are plenty of hotels anxious to fill rooms.
To us, you aren't a body filling a bed. You are company. We hope you don't choose to stay with us because we have a roof at night and a hot meal in the morning. We hope you choose to stay with us to learn about New Orleans. We are New Orleans ambassadors.
We use some name brand condiments, but they are Louisiana name brands. Our dislike of the Heinz family of products has nothing to do with an alleged dislike of Secretary of State John Kerry. He's welcome to stay here anytime. We always look forward to the conversations. It's just that you can eat Heinz ketchup (or any other Heinz condiment) anywhere in these great U.S. of A.
You won't find this in our pantry:
You won't find this in our pantry:
When we first started out as innkeepers, we stayed at a bed and breakfast in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Everything on the breakfast table was unabashedly from Walmart. Now, we have nothing against Walmart, but for the prices we were paying, we weren't paying to eat cream cheese or butter or waffles or pre-cooked scrambled egg dishes fresh from the local Walmart freezer. The Walmart in Arkansas isn't so different from the Walmart in Louisiana. It is no different from the Walmart where you are from. Argue what you want to the contrary, but I'm not believing it. That breakfast was the proof.
You don't stay with us to eat food you can buy at Walmart. You stay with us to sample a taste of New Orleans. That's why we support our neighbors who are much better at making crawfish pie and bread pudding and apple fritters and buttermilk drops and quince jam and pickled quail eggs than we are. If you want to eat scrambled eggs, stay home. At our inn, every meal is a taste of the various neighborhoods that make up our kaleidoscope of a city, full of history and nuance and, frankly, delicious. Every morning at our inn is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.
Try getting a curated New Orleans breakfast salon at a hotel, even the Ritz-Carlton, or the Astor Crown Plaza, or the Roosevelt Hotel. We don't consider other bed and breakfasts in New Orleans our competition. We expect our standard of service to exceed what you would find in a five-star Canal Street hotel. You don't hunker down to breakfast and expect to talk to the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton for the next hour, do you? At our inn, that's what you do. And, unlike the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Frau Schmitt and I have spent innumerable hours investigating every aspect of New Orleans culture. We aren't cooped up in our back office going over spread sheets and balance sheets and composing Power Point presentations for our corporate overlords.
We own the brand. We are the franchise. An army of one inn. Whatever happens, for good or for ill, is our responsibility. Happily, for everyone concerned, it is mostly for good. If something breaks, we fix it in a flash.
I'm a first name basis with everyone in the hardware store. I tell them my problem and they tell me how to fix it. How many hotel GMs can say that? I wear a necktie on occasion, usually on Sundays, but my handyman apron is always at the ready.
We don't offer room service. We don't offer Vol-Pak condiments either, whether they are made by Heinz or by some other food conglomerate.
We don't offer Corn Flakes, either. You're in New Orleans. Who want's Corn Flakes? Even Superman won't deliver them.
Some people refer to Frau Schmitt as a super woman because of her feats of hospitality. I do. As for me? They call me all thumbs most of the time but it all works out in the end.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Zasu Pitts. She had a great name but it wasn't a name that many people knew how to pronounce. She started out as a dramatic actress in silent movies. When talkies were introduced, she switched to comedy.
However you are reading "Zasu," now, you are probably pronouncing it wrong. I did it, too, for the longest time. What is the right way to say her name? "Say-Zoo." It doesn't matter what the opening credits of this next clip say, it was "Say-Zoo." That's what Zasu always said. Feel like you're in New Orleans, yet?
It's Esplan-AID Avenue, not ES-plah-nahd.
Thelma Todd knew how to say it.
Whatever you want to know about New Orleans, we can probably tell you. We won't give you a canned and homogenized answer. We'll give you the real deal.
When are you coming to New Orleans?
À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
Where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.
You don't stay with us to eat food you can buy at Walmart. You stay with us to sample a taste of New Orleans. That's why we support our neighbors who are much better at making crawfish pie and bread pudding and apple fritters and buttermilk drops and quince jam and pickled quail eggs than we are. If you want to eat scrambled eggs, stay home. At our inn, every meal is a taste of the various neighborhoods that make up our kaleidoscope of a city, full of history and nuance and, frankly, delicious. Every morning at our inn is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.
Try getting a curated New Orleans breakfast salon at a hotel, even the Ritz-Carlton, or the Astor Crown Plaza, or the Roosevelt Hotel. We don't consider other bed and breakfasts in New Orleans our competition. We expect our standard of service to exceed what you would find in a five-star Canal Street hotel. You don't hunker down to breakfast and expect to talk to the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton for the next hour, do you? At our inn, that's what you do. And, unlike the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Frau Schmitt and I have spent innumerable hours investigating every aspect of New Orleans culture. We aren't cooped up in our back office going over spread sheets and balance sheets and composing Power Point presentations for our corporate overlords.
We own the brand. We are the franchise. An army of one inn. Whatever happens, for good or for ill, is our responsibility. Happily, for everyone concerned, it is mostly for good. If something breaks, we fix it in a flash.
I'm a first name basis with everyone in the hardware store. I tell them my problem and they tell me how to fix it. How many hotel GMs can say that? I wear a necktie on occasion, usually on Sundays, but my handyman apron is always at the ready.
We don't offer room service. We don't offer Vol-Pak condiments either, whether they are made by Heinz or by some other food conglomerate.
We don't offer Corn Flakes, either. You're in New Orleans. Who want's Corn Flakes? Even Superman won't deliver them.
Some people refer to Frau Schmitt as a super woman because of her feats of hospitality. I do. As for me? They call me all thumbs most of the time but it all works out in the end.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Zasu Pitts. She had a great name but it wasn't a name that many people knew how to pronounce. She started out as a dramatic actress in silent movies. When talkies were introduced, she switched to comedy.
However you are reading "Zasu," now, you are probably pronouncing it wrong. I did it, too, for the longest time. What is the right way to say her name? "Say-Zoo." It doesn't matter what the opening credits of this next clip say, it was "Say-Zoo." That's what Zasu always said. Feel like you're in New Orleans, yet?
It's Esplan-AID Avenue, not ES-plah-nahd.
Thelma Todd knew how to say it.
Whatever you want to know about New Orleans, we can probably tell you. We won't give you a canned and homogenized answer. We'll give you the real deal.
When are you coming to New Orleans?
À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
Where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.
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