What To Do During a Week in New Orleans.

Six plus six equals twelve and there are twelve months in a year.  You should spend part of one of those twelve months in New Orleans.  You should spend a week.  A week is the perfect amount of time to spend in New Orleans.  A week in New Orleans will evaporate your cares and get your head screwed on straight.

Greetings from New Orleans.

A Week in New Orleans heals all wounds.

Even if you're not hurting, a week in New Orleans will make you feel better.  No one ever says their visit to New Orleans is too long. The longer you stay, the more you'll realize how much more there is to discover in this wonderful city we call home.  There are angels in the details.

Where Bayou Road crosses Bell Street, New Orleans, LA.

I live here.  What would I do with a week in New Orleans?  Here is what I did on Monday:

This past Monday, I had lunch at Café Minh after I went to the Mid-City Branch of the New Orleans Public Library across the street.  

Before I went to the Library, I went to Meyer the Hatter to see what new straw hats had arrived from Dobbs in the most recent shipment.

After lunch, I went to see the new exhibit at the New Orleans Museum of Art at the end of Esplanade Avenue, about a mile's picturesque stroll from La Belle Esplanade.  I lingered in the permanent collection's gallery dedicated to Romanticism and Symbolism.  

Then, Frau Schmitt and I went to the movies.  We saw Downton Abbey.  Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation knows all about Downton Abbey.  I didn't know anything about it when I was buying the popcorn.  I really enjoyed the film.  I am now a confirmed Downton Abbey fan.  The movie was playing at The Broad Theater, around the corner from our inn.  How many places do you know that can say, "We have a new movie theater in our neighborhood."  New Orleans is like that.

One day in New Orleans contains the stuff from which lifetime good memories are made.  Imagine a week in this magical city.  Better yet, don't imagine it, visit New Orleans for a week.  You won't regret it.  If you are bored in New Orleans, you should see a doctor.

This house is known as The House on Bayou Road.

A word from our sponsor:  If you are going to spend a week in New Orleans, we can think of no better place to stay than La Belle Esplanade.  Ranked the #1 small hotel in New Orleans since April 2014, and #2 in the United States----AND, #16 in the world.    Check out our website and make a reservation.  La Belle only has five suites so plan ahead and choose wisely.  

The Elysian Bar, New Orleans

The Elysian Bar in New Orleans has been open for about a year.  The Elysian Bar is part of the Peter and Paul Hotel.  The Peter and Paul Hotel is situated in the rectory, convent, school, and church building of the former Saints Peter and Paul Parish in the Marigny neighborhood of New Orleans, Louisiana.  The hotel has about 70 rooms.  It has been named one of the top hotels in the world by Travel + Leisure magazine.  If you want to hang out in a hotel bar, the Elysian Bar is a nice choice.  I've been there more than once.

The napkin at The Elysian Bar

I usually go to the Elysian Bar when it's slow.  Summer afternoons are a great time to visit the Elysian Bar.  The bar opens at 10:30AM and it closes at 12:00AM.  Apertivo Hour is from 3:00-6:00PM daily.  These times come from their website.  I haven't verified all of them personally. 

I don't mind talking to guests who are staying in large hotels.  I know that hotels of 70 rooms are not considered large---they are boutique.  I live in New Orleans.  

If I were visiting New Orleans, I don't think I'd go out of my way to meet people from Peoria that I'll never see again.  You can do that anywhere in the French Quarter or on Frenchmen Street or in any hotel bar.  When the first thing that someone asks you is, "So where are you folks from?" you know you are in tourist New Orleans, not in the part of the city where people live.  There is more to New Orleans than you will read in any guidebook. 

It is very nice inside The Elysian Bar.  The snug interior doesn't feel claustrophobic because of the interior architecture and design.  You'll find a lot of yellow.

The Elysian Bar.

The Elysian Bar is a cocktail bar.  Fine wines and fine cocktails.  There is a curated (small) selection of canned and bottled beer.  I'm sure you can order a rum and coke if you really want it, but it's not gonna be Capt. Morgan.  Most people at The Elysian Bar order a spritz drink or a cocktail with an arbitrary name they've never heard of.  It'll all be good.  They have a lot of ingredients.

They have celery bitters.

My favorite flavor of bitters, even better than Peychaud.

If I were staying at the Peter and Paul Hotel, I would go to The Elysian Bar more often.  As it is, I go when I'm in the neighborhood.  It's an experience.  The locks on the bathroom doors are like on airplanes.  When you slide the bolt inside the bathroom door, a wheel on the outside changes from vacant to occupied.  No one ever has to knock.

I will say that I think The Elysian Bar is in the best of its class.  Once you walk onto the premises you'll realize why there is no other bar like it, not only in New Orleans but in the world.  It is one of a kind.  The atmosphere is comfortable and cozy, classy.  The drinks are excellent.  Try it.  You'll like it.  When you've had enough of it, there is a whole wide wonderful city waiting for you.

This is not a paid endorsement.

A word from our blog's sponsor:  

A hotel with 70 rooms is a small hotel, especially in New Orleans.  There are 36,000 hotel rooms in the city of New Orleans, not counting the suburbs.  La Belle Esplanade is a microscopic in our market.  We only have five suites in a colorful mansion on a beautiful street.  Our hotel is tiny and artisanal, with hospitality on a craft level.  The best New Orleans memories are made when you make La Belle Esplanade the headquarters for your adventure.

Each of our five suites has a sitting room, a bed room, a private bath with clawfoot tub, and a private balcony.  You can't be afraid of color.  La Belle Esplanade is located close to the things tourists want to see in every direction but it is also in a real neighborhood where you can visit New Orleans like you belong here.  Make yourself at home in style.

Ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans since April 2014 by TripAdvisor, La Belle Esplanade has also been called #2 in the U.S., and #16 in the world, having won the Travelers' Choice Award twice, back-to-back.  Go to our website, see what we have to offer.  There is tourist New Orleans and there is real New Orleans.  You belong here.  

No Name Business

A photo from our new website

When's our new website going to be ready?  I'm told next week.  So much for 30 days.  I've done my part.

I've been putting off writing a new entry for our illustrious blog because it's going to be moved to a new address.  It's going to be directly on our website, which has its advantages for SEO reasons.  [See here for my opinion of SEO.]

We're going to be switching to a Wordpress template.  I'm told I'm going to love it.  So far I'm less than thrilled because I'm itching to get started.  I don't know what's taking so long.  

So, instead of writing today's installment on Wordpress, I'm lounging around the New Orleans Odditarium sipping on A Fifth of Beethoven":



Who doesn't love Walter Murphy?  Here's a fun fact: just like Walter Murphy, your humble narrator's father worked briefly for Korvette's before moving to greener pastures.  

Today's installment is merely filler, a website update, not that anyone particularly cares about our software provider woes.  

Frau Schmitt and I have had all sorts of adventures willy-nilly all over New Orleans.  I'd love to share them with you but they'll have to wait.  I know the anticipation is killing you, just like that Heinz Ketchup commercial.  ---If you don't know what I'm talking about with that allusion, ask me about it over breakfast.  

In the meantime, I've got a meeting scheduled with the New Orleans No Name Club.  The club is interested in using our back gardens as a meeting place in the summer.  In the winter, they'd like permission to use the lobby.  We're going to negotiate terms this afternoon in the Pipkin Room at the Rib Room.  If that sentence doesn't make any sense to you, well, you've never been to the secret dining areas hidden in the Rib Room.  

Well, those links should keep you occupied for awhile.  Don't say I didn't give you much today.  I let other pages do the heavy lifting for me, instead.  After all, I'm off on important business---No Name business!

Frau Schmitt and I are waving to you in this picture

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Some Funny Things Happened in New Orleans Today

The Daily Double

Frau Schmitt and I went to the theater this afternoon.  A funny thing happened on our way to 'A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.'

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum is currently playing at Le Petit Théâtre du Vieux Carré in the French Quarter and your humble narrator and his missus had matinee tickets.  In case you don't know, the play originally opened on Broadway in 1962 and, if my memory serves me correctly, it won seven Tony Awards during its first run.  

Le Petit Théâtre is connected to Dickie Brennan's Tableau, a pretty swanky restaurant where my mother likes to hang out for a mid-afternoon cocktail when she's in town.  Frau Schmitt and I got to the bar in Tableau just as happy hour had started (2-6 daily) so we ordered French 75s for $5 apiece and a small cheese platter before the show.

The bartender complimented us for being sharp dressers, which, compared to the crowd that was in there at the time, I suppose we are.  I struck up a conversation with the bartender.  "Tell me if this story sounds familiar," I said.

"During this past Mardi Gras I was here with my mother, who likes to pop in here when she's in town.  Later that very same day, we were at Buffa's on Esplanade Avenue and you sat right behind us."

"I remember that," the bartender said.

I added, "Then your roommate met you there and a couple from out of town wanted to watch the game on TV and they shared your table with you and he watched the game and she talked to you the whole time."

"You're right," the bartender said, "aannnnd---you bought me a root beer!"  High five.  It was a bottle of Barq's.

"That was sure was one night to remember," I said and we all nodded and smiled wistfully off into the distance.

Our trip down memory lane was interrupted by the television.  Jeopardy was on the TV and you'll never guess what the Daily Double was under the heading "Posh Hostelries."

The Daily Double

I'm not going to lie to you and say that everyone in the room shouted out, "La Belle Esplanade!" in unison.  Only about half the locals in the room did and about three quarters of those didn't phrase their response in the form of a question so they were disqualified.  

Let's just say we're starting to get a reputation around town, and I don't mean that in a bad way.  Quite the opposite.

After polishing off our cheese and libations, we watched the show.  It deserved every Tony.  Reading the program before the lights went down, I told Frau Schmitt, who, being German, is sometimes unfamiliar with The Great American Songbook, that we could look forward to two classic songs.  One was 'Comedy Tonight.'  The other was 'Everybody Ought to Have a Maid.'



It was a great rendition of Everybody Ought to Have a Maid.  I know all the words even though you'll never hear me whistling the tune as I putter around the house, myself.

During the last chorus, the woman sitting next to me elbowed me in the ribs.  It wasn't Frau Schmitt; it was the woman sitting on the other side of me, in seat 105.  "I bet this song makes you think of Tammie the Housekeeper, eh?" she whispered to me.

I was taken aback and I told her so.  "Tammie the Housekeeper is not our maid.  She's the housekeeper, from a long line of housekeepers.  It's an honorable profession and she's darned good at it, too," I said.

Tammie the Housekeeper

"I didn't mean any offense," the lady replied.

"None taken, then," I answered and we shook hands in the dark.  With that out of the way, everyone proceeded to enjoy the rest of the show. 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum is playing at Le Petit Théâtre until June 5.  If you're in town, we recommend you go see it.  

There was also a second line parade, a music festival on Bayou St. John, and a bicycle parade down Esplanade Avenue today.  That's just what happened within a mile of our house.  I can't speak for what was going on in the rest of the city.  When you live in New Orleans, you don't have to travel far to find some culture.  Culture is all around us, thick as a termite swarm in May.  It is thick as Maw-Maw's roux.  It is thick as the egg cream on top of a Ramos Gin Fizz.

Whether you are from Paris, France; New York, NY; West Terre Haute, IN; Wewoka, OK; Bumbleton, NH; Staffordshire, England; Milano, Italia; San Francisco, CA, or Ridgefield, CT, you'll find something that will suit your fancy in New Orleans, LA.  

Use your good intuition.  Stay at La Belle Esplanade.

À votre santé nous amis,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.

A Rare and Fabulous Find in New Orleans

A picture picked at random

I didn't know what our lead in photo was going to be when I inserted it at the head of today's blog installment.  I just clicked on something.  Turns out it's a good choice because, surprise, surprise! La Belle Esplanade is the subject of today's chapter.

Today's title is the title I swiped from a review written about our inn.  I'm just cutting and pasting and filling in the blanks today.  That's what most B&B blogs do.  Let me let you in on a secret....

Most B&B blogs aren't written by the innkeepers.  They are farmed out to professionals who stuff the blog entries with keywords for search engine optimization (SEO as we say in the trade) so that the blog entries will show up at the top of Google keyword searches.  Is anyone searching "rare and fabulous find in New Orleans" on Google or bing?  I don't know.  I don't particularly care.  That isn't what we're about here.  This blog is written by me, your humble narrator, in the flesh, warts and all.

I've already chosen the videos that will accompany today's installment.  Now, all I have to do is plug in the text and, believe me, nothing I'm going to talk about today has to do with Jazz Fest.

The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival is in its second day today.  If I was a professional blog writer, I would be writing about that and linking to the schedule and trying to drum up business for us from people who want to go to Jazz Fest.  Truth be told, we've been booked since January for the next two weekends. We don't need to talk about Jazz Fest.

Neither Frau Schmitt nor your humble narrator have ever been to Jazz Fest, even though it's about a ten minute walk from our house.  We're not on vacation so we don't really have the time to partake of the festivities.  What should I tell you about instead?

I walked into a bar on St. Claude Avenue and it went something like this:




Thankfully, I soon met up with Frau Schmitt and she suggested we go to a place on N. Rampart Street.  Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things so I followed her.  That adventure went a little like this:



We were in the Bywater.  It was pretty racy.

I know what you're thinking.  Can't we talk about something besides New Orleans for a change?  We're all educated people.



Remember, Tim Robbins and I used to look a lot alike at one point in our lives.  I've referred to this in past installments if you have the time to read all our archives.  In fact, I was at Tastee Donuts the other morning and I wasn't wearing a hat.  It's very rare when you won't see me in a hat. It's not that I'm bald.  I just don't own a comb.  

Anyway, I wasn't wearing a hat and Lisa, who sees me a few times a week when Frau Schmitt and I want to serve apple fritters at breakfast, said, "You remind me of Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption.  That's one of my favorite movies."  I learned something about Lisa that day.  I also learned that, though Shawshank Redemption was released in 1994, I appear to be 22 years younger than I am.  

I like being older.  You don't hear many people say that out loud.  Frau Schmitt will tell you that I enjoy growing old.  She is usually right about these things.  Howzabout a little T.S. Elliot:

Thomas Stearns Elliot

"I grow old... I grow old...

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."

[From the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, 1922.]

I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.  I don't measure out my life in coffee spoons, though.  So much for that comparison.

So, should we talk a bit about New Orleans?  Of course we should.  What else is there to talk about?

New Orleans is beautiful.  We love where we live.  If you want to learn what it's like to live in New Orleans, if only for a short time, do you know where you should stay?  You should stay at La Belle Esplanade.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Crawfish New Orleans Style

You can spot the skunk ape behind the bush

Let's take a look of an idealized French Quarter for a few minutes.  Yes, we're back to our Elvis marathon...




I wish someone would call me King Creole, but I'm from Connecticut so that's never going to happen.

Do vendors wander the French Quarter streets in mule carts singing about crawfish nowadays?  No.  Nor do they sell gumbo from a hand-pulled cart or carry baskets on their heads as they tout their wares to all who can hear.  It's a myth.  It was a myth in 1958 when Elvis came to New Orleans to shoot a movie.

Played at a theater near you

According to the film's plot, after Elvis' character's mother died and his father lost his job as a pharmacist, the impoverished family moved to the French Quarter.  Let me tell you something: today, there are very few, if any, impoverished families living in the French Quarter.  The Quarter has some of the priciest real estate in New Orleans.  A lot of it is rented out on AirB&B.

I'm not going to recap the whole plot of King Creole.  It makes about as much sense as anything in New Orleans does.  The movie is one part folderol, one part balderdash, one part myth-making, another part of nostalgia, and a dollop of sentimentality.  Toss in a  dash of bitters and the whole shebang makes for a satisfying and toe-tapping cocktail.  Sounds like any day here, really.  That's why Frau Schmitt and I love where we live.  All the world's a stage...etc.  Etcetera.

Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things.

Does a remix add any value to the original?



Regular readers already know that your humble narrator has established a reputation as being an old fuddy-duddy.  I'm not so interested in the myth and the overall narrative and the cotton candy and the pecan pie on the other side of the levee.   I just enjoy wandering our city on foot, saying hello to everyone I encounter along the way, engaging in idle chitchat and learning some actual news from the street.  We live in an amazing city.  I could make up stories about what I do every day but the prosaic truth of my errands and to-and-fro are profound and entertaining enough.

We really do live in an amazing city.  We don't eat crawfish everyday.  We don't eat jambalaya or gumbo or barbecue shrimp every day.  We do eat well, though.  In New Orleans, it is almost impossible not to eat well.  We are content.  In New Orleans, it is almost impossible not to be content.  Most people are positively, genuinely happy.  It's that kind of a city.

If you want to escape your cares, come to New Orleans.  Life is different here.  Come as a visitor but stay like a friend.  You can stay at La Belle Esplanade...where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.  We look forward to sharing our city with you.

There was a song from the King Creole soundtrack that hit #1 on he Billboard Top 10.  It wasn't Crawfish.  It was Hard Headed Woman.  I wasn't alive then so you can't blame me.  How does a Youtube fan video compare to the original film clip in which the song first appeared?  I'm not here to judge.




New Orleans is all things to all people.  It is The City That Care Forgot.  

A tip of our fedora to Megan and Lauren!
À votre santé, nos amies.

Eating the New Orleans Way

An angle on New Orleans breakfast

Ours is a small boutique operation and we're inclined to serve things at breakfast that you wouldn't normally eat at home.  

We don't keep ketchup in the inn, for instance.  No one ever asks for it, luckily, otherwise we would have to keep some Creole catsup on hand at all times.  We use other sauces.  We don't use industrial amounts of other industrial food products either.  We go to our local cheesemonger rather than to Costco, for instance.  Costco is for toilet paper and facial tissues. 

When we serve something, it is usually something artisanal, purchased from a local craftsperson or baker or chef.  When you stay with us, you are not staying in a French Quarter hotel and you are not eating at a French Quarter restaurant that churns through thousands of guests a week.  We only have five suites and each suite accommodates no more than two people.  

The average length of stay at our inn, when all the numbers are tallied and divided, is a little shy of five nights per visit.  We encourage people to stay longer rather than shorter.  We don't encourage people to visit New Orleans longer because we'll make more money that way.  It doesn't matter to us where they stay.  

They can stay at one place for two nights and with us for three nights.  They don't have to stay all five nights with us, though most people who split their time between two locations, though, find themselves wishing they had just settled here.  Our experience is that people who stay longer understand New Orleans better.  They have a richer experience.  They appreciate the city and its many flavors with more gusto and savor.  If you want to stay in New Orleans for a day, there are plenty of hotels anxious to fill rooms.  

To us, you aren't a body filling a bed.  You are company.  We hope you don't choose to stay with us because we have a roof at night and a hot meal in the morning.  We hope you choose to stay with us to learn about New Orleans.  We are New Orleans ambassadors.

We use some name brand condiments, but they are Louisiana name brands.  Our dislike of the Heinz family of products has nothing to do with an alleged dislike of Secretary of State John Kerry.  He's welcome to stay here anytime.  We always look forward to the conversations.  It's just that you can eat Heinz ketchup (or any other Heinz condiment) anywhere in these great U.S. of A.  

You won't find this in our pantry:

When we first started out as innkeepers, we stayed at a bed and breakfast in Hot Springs, Arkansas.  Everything on the breakfast table was unabashedly from Walmart.  Now, we have nothing against Walmart, but for the prices we were paying, we weren't paying to eat cream cheese or butter or waffles or pre-cooked scrambled egg dishes fresh from the local Walmart freezer.  The Walmart in Arkansas isn't so different from the Walmart in Louisiana.  It is no different from the Walmart where you are from.  Argue what you want to the contrary, but I'm not believing it.  That breakfast was the proof.

You don't stay with us to eat food you can buy at Walmart.  You stay with us to sample a taste of New Orleans.  That's why we support our neighbors who are much better at making crawfish pie and bread pudding and apple fritters and buttermilk drops and quince jam and pickled quail eggs than we are.  If you want to eat scrambled eggs, stay home.  At our inn, every meal is a taste of the various neighborhoods that make up our kaleidoscope of a city, full of history and nuance and, frankly, delicious.  Every morning at our inn is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.  

Try getting a curated New Orleans breakfast salon at a hotel, even the Ritz-Carlton, or the Astor Crown Plaza, or the Roosevelt Hotel. We don't consider other bed and breakfasts in New Orleans our competition.  We expect our standard of service to exceed what you would find in a five-star Canal Street hotel.  You don't hunker down to breakfast and expect to talk to the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton for the next hour, do you?  At our inn, that's what you do.  And, unlike the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Frau Schmitt and I have spent innumerable hours investigating every aspect of New Orleans culture.  We aren't cooped up in our back office going over spread sheets and balance sheets and composing Power Point presentations for our corporate overlords.  

We own the brand.  We are the franchise.  An army of one inn.  Whatever happens, for good or for ill, is our responsibility.  Happily, for everyone concerned, it is mostly for good.  If something breaks, we fix it in a flash.

I'm a first name basis with everyone in the hardware store.  I tell them my problem and they tell me how to fix it.  How many hotel GMs can say that?  I wear a necktie on occasion, usually on Sundays, but my handyman apron is always at the ready.

We don't offer room service.  We don't offer Vol-Pak condiments either, whether they are made by Heinz or by some other food conglomerate.

We don't offer Corn Flakes, either.  You're in New Orleans.  Who want's Corn Flakes?  Even Superman won't deliver them.  



Some people refer to Frau Schmitt as a super woman because of her feats of hospitality.  I do.  As for me?  They call me all thumbs most of the time but it all works out in the end.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Zasu Pitts.  She had a great name but it wasn't a name that many people knew how to pronounce.  She started out as a dramatic actress in silent movies.  When talkies were introduced, she switched to comedy.  

However you are reading "Zasu," now, you are probably pronouncing it wrong.  I did it, too, for the longest time.  What is the right way to say her name?  "Say-Zoo."  It doesn't matter what the opening credits of this next clip say, it was "Say-Zoo."  That's what Zasu always said.  Feel like you're in New Orleans, yet?  

It's Esplan-AID Avenue, not ES-plah-nahd.



Thelma Todd knew how to say it.

Whatever you want to know about New Orleans, we can probably tell you.  We won't give you a canned and homogenized answer.  We'll give you the real deal.

When are you coming to New Orleans?

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
Where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

A Small City Called New Orleans

New Orleans ain't whatcha think

I took the snapshot above from the roof of the New Orleans Athletic Club on North Rampart Street a few months ago.  The peach colored building, an old established electrical parts warehouse, is torn down as I write this.  What's going to replace it?  A hotel, of course.  We really only have one industry in New Orleans to speak of.  Thanks for coming down to visit.

North Rampart Street itself is all torn up and mostly closed to traffic as I write this.  There is going to be a new streetcar line that will run down N. Rampart Street as far as Elysian Fields Avenue by the end of this year.

Let's provide a little soundtrack video, shall we?



You won't believe this when you meet me, but I used to have the same haircut as the Fun Boy 3 singer.  I still have the same pants.  I sometimes wear them for breakfast.  At the ripe old age of 50, I have a hard time pulling off that haircut unless I've just rolled out of bed.  Now you know why I always wear a hat.

The jolly innkeeper

New Orleans is a real city, though it is sometimes hard for people to fathom that fact.  It doesn't look like any city I've ever lived in.  In a lot of ways, it is a giant town.  Frau Schmitt and I are always bumping into people we know as we run errands around the city.

Frau Schmitt's brother lives in China.  He told a co-worker who is from New Orleans that his sister runs a boutique inn in the middle of Esplanade Avenue.  He told his co-worker that the inn is one of three colorful houses on our street.  His co-worker said he knew exactly where he was talking about and he emailed Frau Schmitt's brother a picture.  Guess what the picture was of?  It was this:

La Belle Esplanade

I'm not suggesting that we are locally famous.  We aren't.  Our address is notable, however.  When you stay with us, you'll be staying in a local landmark.  Bus tours, bicycle tours, and walking tours stop in front of our house every day to admire our inn.  It can be a pain in the neck but it's mostly unobtrusive.  

Some people, our guests mainly, call your humble narrator The Jolly Innkeeper.  That's better than what some of our innkeeper compatriots are called.  It's better than being called the Solemn Innkeeper, The Distracted Innkeeper, the Sullen Innkeeper, Mr. Wet Blanket, The Souse,  Johnny-Come-Late, Saggy Pants, or That-Creepy-Lady-Who-Ripped-Us-Off.

Jolly Innkeeper has a nice ring to it when you consider the other possibilities that are tossed around by people who stay at other lodging options, including those offered on AirB&B.

Whenever someone calls me The Jolly Innkeeper, it reminds me of that Franz Hals painting:

The Jolly Toper

Whenever I think of that painting, it gives me hat envy.

I'd like to take this opportunity to mention, humbly and nonchalantly, that we've been ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans, and in all of Louisiana, for 23 months now.  If we can make it to April, that will be a solid two years being #1.  Thanks to everyone who has reviewed their stay with us.  Sincere thanks from the bottomless wells of our unsullied hearts.  We don't take it lightly.

He's looking at the future

Happily, we haven't yet been cited as a dangerous voice at the Dangerous Speech Project.  Why would we be?  We're all about love on Esplanade Avenue, love of New Orleans.  If you want to know what it is like to love where we live, you've found the right place.  Good memories are made on our street.

New Orleans' population is still about a 100,000 people less than it was before Katrina.  People who stay in the French Quarter and the Garden District are all, like, "Hey, what's all the fuss about?  Everything looks like it's 100% back from the flooding."  It isn't.  There is still plenty of work to be done.  We are part of a gigantic rebuilding project that is reforming New Orleans in more ways than one while trying to keep true to the spirit and traditions of the city.  There is no place else like New Orleans.  It really is magical here.

If you want to visit New Orleans to learn what it is like to be a part of this cadre of civic imagineers, La Belle Esplanade is open to host you and to help curate your New Orleans experience.  We won't just steer you to the Quarter or to Frenchmen Street, the lazy way.  We'll tell you about places that most tourists don't even know exist.  It always makes us happy when people go off the Convention and Visitors Bureau map.  That's why we provide different maps to navigate the city.  We enjoy the company of urban explorers and cultural connoisseurs.



You can follow whatever NOLA you want to.  As innkeepers, we aren't here to judge.  Our job is to help you find what you are looking for.  We live in a kaleidoscopic city that presents different viewpoints from every possible angle.  It's bewildering sometimes until you get used to it.  You will find what you are looking for in New Orleans, especially if what you are looking for is good memories.

Wherever you are in the world, if you say you are going to New Orleans everyone will know where you mean.  It really is magical here.  It's a small city that is world famous for a reason.  It really is magical here.  See for yourself.  

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning hosts a curated breakfast salon. 

New Orleans Favorite Pickled Pigs Lips

From the folks at Farm Fresh Food Suppliers

I know what you're thinking.  You're wondering if this is a gag (in more ways than one).  The answer is no.  At any hour of the day or night, you can walk into your local New Orleans grocer and pick up a jar of pickled pigs lips.  People tell me they're delicious.  I haven't tried them, myself.

Let's back up a little bit:

100% authentic and world famous

I have no doubt that these pigs lips are authentic.  How famous they are, though, I'm unsure.  Locally famous?  Yes.  World famous?  I'm doubtful.  According to the Farm Fresh Food Suppliers website, you can buy them by the quart or by the gallon.  Let's repeat that last part:  You can buy them by the gallon.

Let's back up a bit further:

It's a tradition

On the Farm Fresh Food Suppliers homepage, there is this sentiment: "In Louisiana, great food is not only a meal...It's a tradition!"  That is certainly true.  People say this all the time.  They tell me the same thing, in one variation or another, several times a day.  It's not just the pigs lips, either.  It's everything that people eat in Louisiana and, believe me, they eat a lot of things in Louisiana that you don't eat where you're from.  The reverse if probably true.  I'm thinking about the lutefisk eaters in Minnesota.  Watch the video.  

Now, let's back up one last time.  Where is this pickled pigs lips ad located?

A New Orleans bus stop

The bus stop shelter at the corner of Esplanade Avenue and N. Broad Avenue is graced with a new advertisement for Pickled Pigs Lips.  It's a handsome and direct ad, don't you think?  It works.  I'm getting hungry just looking at it.

There are busses wrapped with pickled pigs lips ads.  They're really something to see.  The first time I passed one I drove my motor scooter up on the sidewalk.  

Frau Schmitt and I have known about pickled pigs lips since we moved to New Orleans.  If you're in our dining room and you look up on the shelf, you'll see a jar we've kept there since we opened the inn.  We don't open the jar but we do invite people to inspect it if they are interested.  We only bought a quart jar.  We don't see the need to have a gallon on hand.  Our jar is for conversational and educational purposes only.  

For conversational and educational purposes only

If you want to try pickled pigs lips while you are in New Orleans, you are welcome to buy yourself a jar (a quart or a gallon) but please, open it in the back garden to enjoy.  Better yet, take the jar to City Park with a nice bottle of white wine and have yourself a picnic.

As with boiled crawfish, we ask that you don't eat pickled pigs lips in the house.  Outside, however, we encourage you to smack your own lips with gusto as you go about your meal.

Bon apétit,
La Belle Esplanade
...the inn brimming with vim. TM

Some Real New Orleans History

The mantle in our Clio Suite

Remember, in New Orleans, it's usually the rule that most things are pronounced differently than you think, especially if street names or Greek Muses are involved. 

Who are the Nine Muses?  In alphabetical order: Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, and Urania.

You think this is trivia, but everybody in New Orleans knows this and everyone in New Orleans pronounces those names differently than you probably just did if you are reading this blog aloud.

I recommend reading it aloud.  Rex Hollywood reads each installment aloud to his sweetheart.   I know this because Rex told me this himself and his sweetheart confirmed it.  It's no wonder people who know him (what, you don't know Rex Hollywood?) call him "The Last of the Red Hot Lovers" behind his back.  I know this because one of Rex's pals stayed with us and he told me that in confidence.

Anyhow, one of our suites is called the Clio Suite because there is a statue of Clio in the park across the street from this suite's balcony. You, and most of the world that speaks English, French, German, Latin or Greek, Spanish, Albanian, Polish, Magyar, or Arabic, would naturally pronounce the name "klee-OH."  You would be wrong.  In New Orleans, it's pronounced "kl-EYE-oh."

Now you know.

A float in the Rex Den

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "Waitaminnit!  This is Mardi Gras season and you said you were going to post pictures of all the floats you saw in the krewe dens you visited two (2) weeks ago!"  

I did say that and I'm getting around to it, but I was looking through some old photos when I found something else that caught my fancy today.  Wanna see it?

A relic from another time

By the usual loopy narrative logic of this blog, let's travel back to one fateful night two years ago when I visited the men's room at The Steak Knife Restaurant on Harrison Avenue in New Orleans' Lakeview neighborhood.  It was strictly for professional reasons.  

Frau Schmitt and I have been to The Steak Knife twice.  We both like it, but with about 800 restaurants to choose from, we have to eat at as many as we can so that we can talk about them knowledgeably with our guests and make recommendations.  The Steak Knife is in a part of the city that few of our guests ever visit (though Alan and Shelly were there just the other day for ice cream --- to Harrison Avenue, not to The Steak Knife).  If you want to learn more about The Steak Knife, here's a link to their website, though, I have to admit, I don't think you're going to learn much there.  They apparently don't feel an urgent need to publicize.  After 40 years in business, they're probably right.   

Let me get to the point, already.  

This particular men's room is full of old pictures and magazine clippings and this one of the guy holding two fish caught my attention.  Here's the caption under the photo:

Big news about a big catch

In case you can't read the tiny print:

"TWO BLACK BASS, both slightly over two pounds, were caught the other day in a back lagoon at City Park by Jack Crowley, 2422 Laharpe.  The fish were taken on a plug casting rod.  City Park's fishing season closes for two months, beginning Monday."

Our inn is located at 2216 Esplanade Avenue.  2422 Laharpe Street is just four blocks away from where we live.  You can stroll over and take a picture of Mr. Crowley's house if you want to.  I just might do that later this week even though Jack doesn't live there anymore.

Coincidentally, I was walking our dog around a back lagoon this morning and two gentlemen were fishing there, in two different locations.  I asked one of them if he had had any luck.  He said he had just hooked a bass and he showed it to me.  He was a kindly looking, elderly gent.  It wasn't Jack.  I know Jack.

You never know what you'll find as you wander the byways and restrooms in New Orleans.

And, on that note, we must conclude.

Frau Schmitt's mother-in-law is coming to visit.  If installments don't come as regularly as we've recently become accustomed, you can't blame my mother.  Blame it on Mardi Gras.  The whole city shuts down during Mardi Gras.  Though Mardi Gras is next Tuesday, the real serious parading begins today and it's not going to stop until Lent.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where the rest comes easy.

My Favorite City Is New Orleans

Corner of N. Tonti and Barracks Streets, New Orleans, LA

Somebody asked me recently, over breakfast, what my favorite city in the world is.  I looked around, stretched out my hands, shrugged, and let the question answer itself.  Frau Schmitt was putting a plate of crawfish pie on the table and she chimed in to answer.  "His favorite city is New Orleans," she said.  Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things.

Let's face it; Wewoka, Oklahoma is nobody's favorite city, at least nobody that I've ever spoken with, and that's including the people who live there.  I'm not saying I don't like Wewoka.  Far from it.  I'm just saying it is far down on my list of favorites. 

A lot of places are like that.

When the tide goes out, that's when you'll see who's naked.  I had no reason for typing that except that it popped into my head just now.

Apropos of the conversation, I decided to list five things today that I like about New Orleans, five of the things that make this my favorite city.  Lists are good ways to build blog traffic but you have to put the fact that you are featuring a list in the title.  Otherwise, nobody knows you're giving away a list.  Nobody's ever said I was savvy about these things.  If you happened to land on this page by happenstance, more power to you.  Maybe you'll browse the deep archives we maintain for your perusal.  Maybe you'll be tempted to visit New Orleans.  If you are tempted, I can tell you that reason number 6 of why I love New Orleans is because La Belle Esplanade is in New Orleans.  You'll love La Belle Esplanade.

Let's begin.  We are going to proceed without illustrations.  You'll have to use your imagination until you get here.

Number One:  Just before the wee small hours of the night turn into the wee small hours of the morning, if you are on City Park Avenue in New Orleans, your eyes will be drawn to a beacon that never dims its neon: Bud's Broiler.  It's a 24-hour hamburger stand.  Step in for a Number 9 with onions, an order of fries, and a frosty bottle of Heineken.  Life doesn't get any better in a city that refuses to keep normal hours or normal habits.

Number Two:  You can't get a good bagel in New Orleans.  

Sure, there is Humble Bagel on Freret Street, but they keep funny hours that I can never keep track of and Freret Street is far out of the way.  Plus, their bagels are very puffy; they hardly have a hole.  

Sure, there's Manhattan Jack, but just about every woman in there is wearing yoga pants, not that that matters because every scruffily bearded man in there is staring at his phone.  And don't forget the slow discombobulated service, but hey, they have an iPad instead of a cash register!  

Sure, there is also Maple Street Patisserie and Deli on Eighth Street of Magazine.  I had a bagel there this morning and it was a predictable disappointment.  I was walking past a trash can after finishing half the everything bagel I had purchased and I thought, "I wouldn't mind throwing this away."  So I did.

This isn't New York.  You shouldn't expect good bagels in New Orleans, and I no longer do.  That's one reason New Orleans is my favorite city.  I am forced to accept New Orleans on its own terms.  It's liberating.  I don't need to go to Panera Bread Company on N. Carrollton Avenue---their bagels aren't any good either.

[We interrupt this blog for a short commercial message featuring Joanne Worley...]



Number Three:  Whenever we're in the Riverbend, which isn't often enough and looks nothing like Fodor's describes, Frau Schmitt and I like to stop at Cooter Brown's.  They serve the best pastrami sandwich in the city, and they have a very extensive beer selection, but the reason I like Cooter Brown's is the collection of celebrity caricatures that line the walls around all the rooms.  These are celebrities I know, like W.C. Fields, Mickey Mantle, Jackie Gleason, and Albert Einstein.  They don't have Miley Cyrus, at least not that I've seen, though, I have to admit, I have only the vaguest idea of what Miley Cyrus looks like nowadays.  Cooter Brown's is also justly famous for its oysters.  'nuff said.

Number Four:  Oysters with caviar.  I was just talking to a guest from Japan and she asked me for a good seafood restaurant.  I don't recommend it often, but I recommend it often enough because I do enjoy the Bourbon House, even on a bad day.  Is is the greatest restaurant in New Orleans?  No.  Not by a long shot.  But, the Bourbon House does deliver good oysters, especially when they are delivered with a little spoonful of caviar on top.

[Another commercial message featuring the inimitable Joanne Worley...]



Number Five:  In New Orleans, people dance like nobody is watching.  People live according to the dictates of their hearts.  Faith, hope, and charity are a way of life.  Whether you are a gangster or a comedian, whether you are a banker or a busker, whether you are waiter, a secretary, a carpenter, a shoe store clerk, a supermarket cashier, a bricklayer, a plumber, a stripper, a gutter punk or a minister, you do your best to be the best New Orleanian you can be.  We are all in this big shebang together.  Be nice or leave.  Most people who move to New Orleans stay.

Whatever you are known for best, be it a comedian or a gangster, you know how to dance like you mean it.  It's all jazz in the end.  Every day is a joyful improvisation.  And there is tap-dancing, too.



If you want to learn more, come to New Orleans for a few nights.  A longer visit is better than a shorter one.  Better a day in New Orleans than a week wherever else you are thinking of visiting.  A week in New Orleans will inaugurate a new chapter in your understanding of life.  New Orleans air sets a soul free.  Take a deep breath and be careful what you wish for.  It'll be better than good.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...Like Kleenex Tissues, the only real choice.