Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

We are just simple micro-hoteliers here at La Belle Esplanade.  I know more than one person just spit coffee out their nose when they read that sentence.  To be honest, Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation, is the nicest person you will ever meet, and I, your humble narrator, am a raconteur extraordinaire (I didn't give myself that moniker), a dandy, and a man-about-New Orleans. La Belle Esplanade, the small artisanal hotel we run, is ranked highly on TripAdvisor, and we know it is unlike any other hotel, but we don't like feeling too big for our britches.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  La Belle Esplanade is no Hilton.  

That's a good thing, too:

La Belle is the orange house in the middle.

I don't like to boast or to brag, and, even though I usually post our TripAdvisor award badges at the end of each post, I don't think too much of them.  Not that I dislike them, mind you.  Frau Schmitt and I are humbled that La Belle has been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans since April 2014.  And, we are even more humbled to be counted among the 0.0001% of hotels awarded the Travelers' Choice Award every year.  For those of you who don't know, this award is bestowed on the top 25 places to stay in each country and then the top 25 in the whole world.  We've been named the #2 place to stay in the United States and the #16 place to stay in the world.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

That said, the wall next to our breakfast buffet table is starting to look a little TripAdvisor heavy.  We don't really need all these framed certificates to go all the way to the ceiling.  We have twelve-and-a-half foot ceilings in the house:

Sure, there's still empty space but when is enough enough?

We just got two more certificates in the mail today: our 2019 Certificate of Excellence and our 2019 induction into the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.

I haven't framed them yet.  They're just laid out on a table.

Again, I'm not complaining but I don't think anyone outside the hotel industry, knows what it means to be in the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.  While La Belle Esplanade is flattered and humbled to be inducted, once again, does Joe or Jane Doe care?  They will when they get here and experience what we offer as a small artisanal hotel but before they see the certificates on our wall and ask about them, will they know what the Hall of Fame even is?

It means we've been awarded a certificate of excellence five years in a row.  A certificate of excellence is not a Travelers' Choice Award.  One is a chicken egg, the other is caviar.  Both are good but one is commonplace while the other is sublime.  We're aiming for five Travelers' Choice awards in a row.  Three to go.  

Our TripAdvisor ranking is all based on reviews from people who have stayed at La Belle Esplanade.  Frau Schmitt and I have no control over our ranking.  It is all driven by how our guests have experienced their stay at our small craft hotel.  You know how the best beer comes from a small craft brewery?  It's the same way with hospitality at a small craft hotel.  The best New Orleans memories are made on our street.  Visit like you belong in this wonderful city we call home.

Let your imagination be your guide.

As of this moment, we've received 646 reviews on TripAdvisor.  634 of them rate our inn Excellent.  12 rate our inn Very Good.  Nobody has said their stay is Average, Poor, or Terrible.  Why would they?  La Belle Esplanade is like the Ritz, if the Ritz were in a colorful old mansion and run by only two people.  Only a churl could not be delighted by a gourmet curated breakfast accompanied by good conversation about all things New Orleans.

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  We try to deliver better value than what our prices lead you to expect.  Why?  Because in New Orleans there is the theory of lagniappe.  Lagniappe is a Creole word that means something extra.  At La Belle Esplanade you will always get something extra, be it personally tailored recommendations, candies on your bed, a selection of locally brewed beer and soda, or, most importantly, a chance to be inducted into the authentic New Orleans state of mind.

There is touristy New Orleans.  You don't need me to tell you about it.  You'll find it.  Your friends who have already visited for bachelor parties or professional conventions or destination weddings or cruise ship stops have already told you about that part of New Orleans.  Then, there is real New Orleans, the authentic city where people live, laugh, and love as they go about their lives raising families and building legacies.  Ours is a city with a culture that is densely woven and richly textured.  You never know what pleasant surprise you'll find when you turn a corner.  New Orleans is not just sugary alcoholic drinks, dueling piano bars, and novelty tee shirt shops.

Walk your boots to La Belle Esplanade.  This is real New Orleans.

When you are ready for real New Orleans off the usual tourist treadmill, you know where to find us.  We are the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue.  New Orleans is called "America's Most Interesting City" for very good reason.

Check out our website: LaBelleEsplanade.com.  Read our blog there.  There are three years (at least) of archives.  If you think we'll be a good fit for your New Orleans expectations, make a reservation.  The "Check Availability" button is in the upper right of every screen.  Plug in your dates to see what suites we have available.  We only have five suites so we tend to fill up early during the busy seasons.

You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue,
-La Belle Esplanade   

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

Using Trip Advisor in New Orleans

Mister Apple

If you're like me when you have something heavy weighing on your mind, and you spend a couple of sleepless nights turning it over and over in your head, and you finally decide you can't think about it anymore, you'll head down to the French Quarter to the apple store.  

This isn't the kind of Apple Store you're thinking of, the company with the stock ticker AAPL.  The apple store I'm talking about in the French Quarter is Mister Apple, a beloved icon in our community, the way Mister Softee may be in yours.

Mister Softee

When I have a problem I just can't seem to lick, I mull it over with a nice plump and juicy candied apple in my mitt.

The Mister Apple store in the French Quarter is at 201 North Peters Street.  If you happen to find yourself wrestling with a mental dilemma Uptown, they've recently opened another location, this one at 4505 Magazine Street.  Thanks Mister Apple.

*****

This far into today's installment, you may be wondering what had me in such a dither.  Okay, I'll tell you.  I was wondering where I should stay if I were visiting New Orleans.

This is an academic question, purely speculative and theoretical, most hypothetical, to say the least.  After all, I live in New Orleans.  I stay in the 2200 block of Esplanade Avenue.  In fact, that is where I spend much of my time.

La Belle Esplanade

But, if, like most of you, gentle readers, I was planning a vacation in New Orleans, how would I decide where to lay my weary head after a day's excitement living the good life the Big Easy way?  

If I were planning a New Orleans vacation, I would want to stay in a place that is close to all the tourist attractions I might want to see, but far enough away that I could get a good night's sleep.  I don't like a lot of hustle and bustle, especially when all that hustle and bustle is generated by a crowd of drunks nursing neon green frozen drinks in souvenir cups shaped like a hand grenade and they are stumbling outside my room at all hours when I'm trying to sleep, shouting at each other, getting into fistfights, and urinating or vomiting, or both, on the side of the building in which I'm trying to sleep.

Mister Hand Grenade

That is a real New Orleans French Quarter experience, but it isn't one that I particularly enjoy.  I have stayed overnight in the French Quarter.  It was interesting, but it isn't something that I choose to repeat.  After a couple nights of that, I was ready to go home.  To each his or her own, of course.

I would also like to be in a neighborhood that offers a lot of big city local amenities that are a bit off the usual tourist radar.  I would also like to have someone around who would tell me about the neighborhood rather than just point me in the direction of a brochure rack, the way the hotel concierge sometimes will.

If I were planning a vacation, I would look at my options on Trip Advisor.  I don't have a cozy relationship with Trip Advisor.  We're on speaking terms but nothing more.  Our inn doesn't pay them any money to be listed or ranked on their site. I'm familiar with how the site operates and I think their policies are on the up-and-up.  All of my experiences with Trip Advisor (stock ticker: TRIP) have been positive.  When Frau Schmitt and I travel, which isn't too often, we use Trip Advisor to decide where to stay. 

I don't know how big or pervasive Trip Advisor is as a company.  I've only recently become aware that the company advertises on television.  Frau Schmitt and I don't watch a lot of television---we're too busy to travel and we're too busy to watch TV--- but I was sitting in the bar at the New Orleans Athletic Club after a strenuous workout and I saw a Trip Advisor ad being broadcast.  Yes, our gym has a bar in it.  That's the way things are in New Orleans.




My curiosity piqued, I looked up hotels in New Orleans on Trip Advisor.  This next bit may be a little tedious reading for some, but I think it is important to note.  Since I'm in the industry, I find it interesting.

The number one hotel as of this writing is the Grenoble House, in the French Quarter, with 371 reviews.  Overall, the hotel scores 4.5 stars.  Of those, 287 are excellent, 63 are good, 16 are average, 4 are poor and 1 is terrible.  The Grenoble House has the least reviews of any of the hotels in the top 30.  Most of hotels in New Orleans have one or two thousand, though this varies, naturally.

The number two hotel is Hotel Mazarin, also in the French Quarter.  The Mazarin has 2810 reviews, again 4.5 stars overall.  Of these reviews, 1966 are excellent.  Not bad.  There are also 641 that are scored good, 115 average, 67 poor and 21 terrible.

We can go down the list but I don't want to bore you with all these numbers.  If you look at the percentages, these are very respectable---for a hotel.  I'm not going to do the math to tell you what percentage of reviews are excellent vs. good, etc.  I will just put forth a general observation: when a hotel has X excellent reviews, the number of good reviews will be a tad more than a quarter of the excellent total and so on down the line.  

There is nothing wrong with being good.  It's much, much better than being terrible.

The 121st hotel in the rankings for New Orleans (which I will not name) has 37 excellent reviews, 54 good, 25 average, 9 poor and 10 
terrible.  

Licensed B&Bs on Trip Advisor are somewhat different.  If you look at the number one ranked small boutique inn in New Orleans (and in all of Louisiana), you'll find it has a total of 348 reviews as of this writing.  That's a little less than the Grenoble House.  Of these 338 (97.1%) are excellent and 10 (2.9%) are good.  There are no average, poor, or terrible reviews.

The other top 10 inns listed under B&Bs on Trip Advisor score, on average, about 94% excellent reviews, 5% good, and a smattering of other classifications.  Most of the boutique operations in New Orleans score 5 stars in overall satisfaction versus 4.5 stars for hotels.  When all the scores are tallied, no hotel ever earns more than 4.5 stars.  None that I've seen, at least.

Do you want to stay somewhere where guests' opinions boil down to their memories being somewhere between good and excellent, or do you want to stay somewhere where the guests repeatedly report their visit as generating an excellent experience.  The choice is entirely up to you.

What do all these statistics mean?  Maybe nothing in the end.  A boutique experience in a real neighborhood isn't what everyone wants out of their vacation.  Some people just want to go to Bourbon Street and get pie-eyed drinking Jesters.  I have no quibble with that.  La Belle Esplanade, or any of the other B&Bs which rate higher in guest satisfaction than the big hotels, may not be the place for that particular visitor.  He or she may only need a pass-out bed.  In that case, the #121 hotel in New Orleans is money well spent.

I've never even tasted a Jester.  Frau Schmitt tells me to steer clear of sweet drinks that are mostly grain alcohol.  I listen to her because she is usually right about these things.  One of our guests did gift us with a souvenir Jester cup, though.  It's in a place of honor on a shelf in our lobby.




La Belle Esplanade is the place for me.  It had better be.  I run the place alongside Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation.  We spend a lot of time here and we invest a lot of effort and capital to make it a place worth staying in.  Ours is an inn to remember in the best way.

If you are thinking about visiting New Orleans and you aren't sure where to stay, think about checking out what the reviews on Trip Advisor have to say.  Being ranked #1 is a matter of algorithms that reflect guest satisfaction.  Read the reviews.  Don't just look at the stars, or bubbles, as Trip Advisor likes to call them.  You can learn a lot from reading what guests have written and what the innkeepers write in response.  If what you read sounds good to you, go to that inn's website and make a reservation.

I do my best thinking while noshing on a candied apple.  You might do your best thinking while reading reviews on Trip Advisor.  Be warned though: much like this blog, you can waste a lot of time there reading the archived material.

Don't overthink your vacation.  Use your good intuition when you decide to visit New Orleans.  You can make a lot of worse choices than deciding to stay at La Belle Esplanade.  Better memories are made on our street.  No one ever says their stay was too long.  It is always too short.  There is a lot to experience in our part of the city.  You'll never see everything, but that gives you a reason to come back for more.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Just Breathe in New Orleans

La Belle Esplanade

We just had some business cards made with that photo.

The following song is today's sound track.  You don't need to watch the video, which I find moronic, but the song encapsulates the way events unwound today as I went about my errands around our neighborhood.  It's not all brass bands and shrimp po' boys in New Orleans.



People ask what we do in our spare time.  Frau Schmitt and our dog compete in agility trials in which they navigate obstacle courses and win ribbons.  Our dog is quite the athlete, without an ounce of fat on him.  Frau Schmitt keeps in pretty good shape herself, too.

As for your humble narrator.  I breathe.  I also read old Gallup poll findings.  Let's look at the results of a poll released on December 23, 1950.

Question #1:

"Do you think that 50 years from now [in the far flung year of 2000AD] trains and airplanes will be run by atomic power?"
Yes.................63%
No..................20%
No opinion.....17%

Question #2:

"Do you think that a cure for cancer will be found within the next 50 years [by the far-flung future year of 2000AD]?"
Yes................88%
No..................7%
No opinion.....5%

"Do you think that men in rockets will be able to reach the moon within the next 50 years?"
Yes.................15%
No..................70%
No opinion.....15%

So much for prognostication.  

Here's one last question from that survey:

"Do you think that 66 years from now New Orleans, Louisiana will still be the most magical city in America, better than ever, even though the city was completely evacuated after a federal levee failure in 2010 and there was a national discussion about whether there should even be an attempt to rebuild New Orleans after the biggest disaster to hit a major American city?"
Yes...............88%
No................12%
No opinion.....0%

Maybe sometimes the people's intuition is right.  When you are in New Orleans, just breathe.  Let New Orleans become a part of you. You can't go wrong when you are in New Orleans.  When New Orleans breathes, the world is a good place.  Dance like nobody is watching.

Wanna know where you can stay?

You can stay at:
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

As of today, we've ranked the #1 lodging experience on Trip Advisor in New Orleans, and in all of Louisiana, for 25 months in a row.  We're not really keeping track, but we are still counting.  Be a New Orleanian, wherever you are.

A Rare and Fabulous Find in New Orleans

A picture picked at random

I didn't know what our lead in photo was going to be when I inserted it at the head of today's blog installment.  I just clicked on something.  Turns out it's a good choice because, surprise, surprise! La Belle Esplanade is the subject of today's chapter.

Today's title is the title I swiped from a review written about our inn.  I'm just cutting and pasting and filling in the blanks today.  That's what most B&B blogs do.  Let me let you in on a secret....

Most B&B blogs aren't written by the innkeepers.  They are farmed out to professionals who stuff the blog entries with keywords for search engine optimization (SEO as we say in the trade) so that the blog entries will show up at the top of Google keyword searches.  Is anyone searching "rare and fabulous find in New Orleans" on Google or bing?  I don't know.  I don't particularly care.  That isn't what we're about here.  This blog is written by me, your humble narrator, in the flesh, warts and all.

I've already chosen the videos that will accompany today's installment.  Now, all I have to do is plug in the text and, believe me, nothing I'm going to talk about today has to do with Jazz Fest.

The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival is in its second day today.  If I was a professional blog writer, I would be writing about that and linking to the schedule and trying to drum up business for us from people who want to go to Jazz Fest.  Truth be told, we've been booked since January for the next two weekends. We don't need to talk about Jazz Fest.

Neither Frau Schmitt nor your humble narrator have ever been to Jazz Fest, even though it's about a ten minute walk from our house.  We're not on vacation so we don't really have the time to partake of the festivities.  What should I tell you about instead?

I walked into a bar on St. Claude Avenue and it went something like this:




Thankfully, I soon met up with Frau Schmitt and she suggested we go to a place on N. Rampart Street.  Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things so I followed her.  That adventure went a little like this:



We were in the Bywater.  It was pretty racy.

I know what you're thinking.  Can't we talk about something besides New Orleans for a change?  We're all educated people.



Remember, Tim Robbins and I used to look a lot alike at one point in our lives.  I've referred to this in past installments if you have the time to read all our archives.  In fact, I was at Tastee Donuts the other morning and I wasn't wearing a hat.  It's very rare when you won't see me in a hat. It's not that I'm bald.  I just don't own a comb.  

Anyway, I wasn't wearing a hat and Lisa, who sees me a few times a week when Frau Schmitt and I want to serve apple fritters at breakfast, said, "You remind me of Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption.  That's one of my favorite movies."  I learned something about Lisa that day.  I also learned that, though Shawshank Redemption was released in 1994, I appear to be 22 years younger than I am.  

I like being older.  You don't hear many people say that out loud.  Frau Schmitt will tell you that I enjoy growing old.  She is usually right about these things.  Howzabout a little T.S. Elliot:

Thomas Stearns Elliot

"I grow old... I grow old...

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."

[From the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, 1922.]

I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.  I don't measure out my life in coffee spoons, though.  So much for that comparison.

So, should we talk a bit about New Orleans?  Of course we should.  What else is there to talk about?

New Orleans is beautiful.  We love where we live.  If you want to learn what it's like to live in New Orleans, if only for a short time, do you know where you should stay?  You should stay at La Belle Esplanade.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Running the Numbers In New Orleans

A fish below the ice in City Park

I noticed today that we've received our 333rd review on Trip Advisor.  I remember when we didn't have any.  For a smidge over two years, we've been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans, and in all of Louisiana, really.  It's quite a feather in our cap and one of which we feel justly proud.  Believe me, we never thought we'd be ranked #1.

For those readers who haven't read reviews of our inn, and there are other places where you can read reviews about our inn besides on Trip Advisor, but, Trip Advisor seems to be where everyone thinking about coming to New Orleans goes to help make up their minds of where to stay, here's a breakdown by the numbers:

La Belle Esplanade

333 Total Reviews
323 Excellent                    
10   Very Good
 0    Average
 0    Poor
 0    Terrible

307 in English
 12  in French
   7  in German
   3  in Italian
   2  in Swedish
   1  in Dutch
   1  in Norwegian
   1  in Portuguese

Those are some pretty impressive numbers, if I do say so myself.  I always find it interesting to see how many reviews are written in languages other than English.  Very few, it turns out.  We don't have many but I think we have more than anyone else in New Orleans, though I haven't made a systematic study of the matter.  Let's just say we are a cosmopolitan inn.

We have no control of what our ranking is on Trip Advisor.  The number is based entirely on the ratings we receive from our guests. We know some other innkeepers who try to game the system and have friends or professional services submit reviews on their behalf.  Trip Advisor frowns on that and they seem to do a pretty good job of weeding out the falsehoods.  

Every one of our 333 reviews was written by someone who stayed at La Belle Esplanade.  I know because I recognize everyone who wrote a review.  When you run a small boutique operation the way we do, you get to know your guests.  This isn't a 400-plus-room hotel.  We only have five suites.  We spend a lot of time talking with our guests every morning.  It's a nice way to do business.

It's nice to stay here, too, apparently.  We don't have room service, but we are always around if you need help with something.  We don't have a microwave in the suites, or even in the building, but this way the house never stinks of popcorn or fish.  There isn't any valet parking, instead, you just park on the street in front of our house for free (not that you need to rent a car---you don't).  We have free wi-fi, too.  We're not here to nickel-and-dime you.  Pay the going rate and we'll throw in a lot of lagniappe.

So, not to boast or blow our own horn, but we're very happy and humbled to have the chance to do what we do.  We enjoy being innkeepers.  It ain't work when ya like whatcha do.  We're looking forward to reading and responding to the next 333 reviews.  Now, how many will that make?

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Have I mentioned you can like us on Facebook?  I hear all the cool crowd is doing it nowadays.

New Orleans Is Full of Sly Magic.

New Orleans is full of sly magic

There is a subtle perturbation in the atmosphere in New Orleans, a hum in the back of your ears, something below the substance that is more spirit than solid or liquid or gas.  There are occult powers at work along this city's sinews.  Phantasmagoria and fantasia, both and neither; terra firma, terra incognita and terra sigillata.  Is it any wonder that we love where we live?

When you spend enough time in New Orleans, you get a little discombobulated, then your balance readjusts, your tympanic membranes get used to the on-key pressure, and your pineal gland recalibrates.  Then, everything seems right in the world for long stretches along Esplanade Avenue, or St. Claude Avenue, or St. Bernard Avenue, or Carrolton Avenue, or Dumaine Street, or Washington Avenue, or along South Galvez Street, well, heck, along just about any byway or alleyway in the city, even Pirates' Alley or Duels Street.  Stay here long enough and you'll get spoiled for living anywhere else.

It really is magical in New Orleans.  Ask anyone.

It isn't voodoo, per se.  It's the voodoo that the people who live here do.  It's hard to put your finger on what makes New Orleans different, but you can always feel the pulse.  Everybody eats red beans on Mondays.  Why?  We don't ask that kind of question.  Like the Mardi Gras Indians, and everyone else who calls New Orleans home, we just do what we do because that's what we do.

'Nuff said about that.  Try to pin a butterfly down with enough description and words and, before you realize it, the butterfly has flown away.

Wanna see a rare picture of Frau Schmitt?

The nicest person you will ever meet

We went to see China Lights in City Park last night.  Wanna see a picture of a dragon?

Dragon over the oleander

China Lights is a big exhibit of silk sculptures lit from the inside.  We've seen the sculptures during the day and, let me tell you, they are much more impressive at night.  They're impressive during the day, but at night, they're magic.  It wasn't cheap to get in but it was worth the price of admission.  That's the way with most things.  Who dares to tally an epiphany's value?

Not quite the whole dragon

China Lights runs until May 1.  Even when nothing is happening in New Orleans, officially, something is always happening.  That's why we love where we live, off the record and off the radar and off the charts.  There is never a dull moment.  You can come to New Orleans any time of year, at any time of day, and you'll find something happening.  It's that kind of a place.  Its texture is rich and dense, full of portents and magic and dazzle and sizzle, fo'  shizzle.

If you don't know what it means to miss New Orleans, that's because you haven't spent enough time here, yet.  Stay for a couple days, embed yourself in the back streets outside the French Quarter, outside the Garden District, off the usual tourist maps and tourist traps.  You'll fall in love.  New Orleans is full of sly magic.

If you are considering a visit, we'd be pleased if you choose to make our colorful and humble inn your headquarters and base of operations for the duration of your stay.  We know a lot about New Orleans magic.  Reserve a suite early.  We are a small boutique operation that offers customized recommendations and accommodations.  You'll know what we mean when you get here.  Stay with us and you might just be spoiled from staying anywhere else.  It's not our vacation, though.  You can always stay down the street.  

I always say you should read an inn's blog to get an idea of what the place is about.  I can't say ours is always useful, in fact we've installed a poll to measure this somewhere toward the bottom of the column to your right.  Feel free to vote if you are so inclined.

New Orleans is a city full of sly magic.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon. 

Crawfish New Orleans Style

You can spot the skunk ape behind the bush

Let's take a look of an idealized French Quarter for a few minutes.  Yes, we're back to our Elvis marathon...




I wish someone would call me King Creole, but I'm from Connecticut so that's never going to happen.

Do vendors wander the French Quarter streets in mule carts singing about crawfish nowadays?  No.  Nor do they sell gumbo from a hand-pulled cart or carry baskets on their heads as they tout their wares to all who can hear.  It's a myth.  It was a myth in 1958 when Elvis came to New Orleans to shoot a movie.

Played at a theater near you

According to the film's plot, after Elvis' character's mother died and his father lost his job as a pharmacist, the impoverished family moved to the French Quarter.  Let me tell you something: today, there are very few, if any, impoverished families living in the French Quarter.  The Quarter has some of the priciest real estate in New Orleans.  A lot of it is rented out on AirB&B.

I'm not going to recap the whole plot of King Creole.  It makes about as much sense as anything in New Orleans does.  The movie is one part folderol, one part balderdash, one part myth-making, another part of nostalgia, and a dollop of sentimentality.  Toss in a  dash of bitters and the whole shebang makes for a satisfying and toe-tapping cocktail.  Sounds like any day here, really.  That's why Frau Schmitt and I love where we live.  All the world's a stage...etc.  Etcetera.

Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things.

Does a remix add any value to the original?



Regular readers already know that your humble narrator has established a reputation as being an old fuddy-duddy.  I'm not so interested in the myth and the overall narrative and the cotton candy and the pecan pie on the other side of the levee.   I just enjoy wandering our city on foot, saying hello to everyone I encounter along the way, engaging in idle chitchat and learning some actual news from the street.  We live in an amazing city.  I could make up stories about what I do every day but the prosaic truth of my errands and to-and-fro are profound and entertaining enough.

We really do live in an amazing city.  We don't eat crawfish everyday.  We don't eat jambalaya or gumbo or barbecue shrimp every day.  We do eat well, though.  In New Orleans, it is almost impossible not to eat well.  We are content.  In New Orleans, it is almost impossible not to be content.  Most people are positively, genuinely happy.  It's that kind of a city.

If you want to escape your cares, come to New Orleans.  Life is different here.  Come as a visitor but stay like a friend.  You can stay at La Belle Esplanade...where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.  We look forward to sharing our city with you.

There was a song from the King Creole soundtrack that hit #1 on he Billboard Top 10.  It wasn't Crawfish.  It was Hard Headed Woman.  I wasn't alive then so you can't blame me.  How does a Youtube fan video compare to the original film clip in which the song first appeared?  I'm not here to judge.




New Orleans is all things to all people.  It is The City That Care Forgot.  

A tip of our fedora to Megan and Lauren!
À votre santé, nos amies.

Between the Moon and New Orleans

We haven't used this picture in a while

When you get caught between the moon and New Orleans, the best that you can do---THE BEST THAT YOU CAN DO---is fall in love.

It is easy to fall in love with New Orleans.  It is easy to fall in love in New Orleans.  It is easy to fall in love in New Orleans on top of falling in love with New Orleans.  It is easy to fall in love all over New Orleans.  Wanna fall in love?  Stay at La Belle Esplanade, in New Orleans.

It is easy to fall in love, well, period, really, wherever you are.  It takes two to tango and the right setting, but that has nothing to do with this next clip, which has nothing to do with anything but a fond regard for Jerry Lewis.  Just hit play and keep reading.  There is nothing memorable to watch here...



And then there's Falco.

We only include today's Jerry Lewis reference because a regular reader, who shall remain unnamed (Hi, Kevin), has come out publicly as not being a Jerry Lewis fan.  I can't blame him.  I'm not a particularly great fan of Mr. Lewis, myself.  Neither is Frau Schmitt, who is German by birth, not French.  Frau Schmitt is usually right about these things.

What about Elvis?



Today, we are blessed to have a couple who were married in Las Vegas staying with us.  They weren't married by Elvis nor by an Elvis impersonator, but, whenever I think of Vegas, I think of Elvis.  Whenever I think of Elvis, I think of the Rolling Elvi, a krewe of Elvis impersonators who ride motor scooters in Mardi Gras parades in New Orleans.  You see, there is always a thread that binds these posts together whether you realize it or not.  Be patient, dear reader, your humble narrator will tie the whole shebang together in the end one way or another.

If your brain is flaming and you don't know which way to go, you can always choose the obvious place to stay in New Orleans: some hotel in the French Quarter.  

Have a good time.  Plenty of people do.  You'll be one of them.  There is nothing wrong with that.  When you're walking around the French Quarter nursing a Hand Grenade, think of me, please.  That's all I ask.

Cooler heads usually prevail.  If you take the time to do a little research, maybe you'll make a reservation at the #1-ranked inn in New Orleans, and you'll find yourself staying at La Belle Esplanade.  We only have five suites.  If you are tempted (and you should resist every temptation but the one to stay somewhere good memories are made every day) make a reservation early.  We're a small boutique operation and we fill up far in advance.  

Well, we could talk about this all day.  As Kevin likes to say, and as Elvis used to like to say, too, enough of all this conversation.  Let's get to the satisfactioning....



When are you coming to New Orleans?  When are you going to visit La Belle Esplanade?  When are you going to really fall in love?  Don't you prefer a little more fire and a little less spark?

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where the rest comes easy.

Eating the New Orleans Way

An angle on New Orleans breakfast

Ours is a small boutique operation and we're inclined to serve things at breakfast that you wouldn't normally eat at home.  

We don't keep ketchup in the inn, for instance.  No one ever asks for it, luckily, otherwise we would have to keep some Creole catsup on hand at all times.  We use other sauces.  We don't use industrial amounts of other industrial food products either.  We go to our local cheesemonger rather than to Costco, for instance.  Costco is for toilet paper and facial tissues. 

When we serve something, it is usually something artisanal, purchased from a local craftsperson or baker or chef.  When you stay with us, you are not staying in a French Quarter hotel and you are not eating at a French Quarter restaurant that churns through thousands of guests a week.  We only have five suites and each suite accommodates no more than two people.  

The average length of stay at our inn, when all the numbers are tallied and divided, is a little shy of five nights per visit.  We encourage people to stay longer rather than shorter.  We don't encourage people to visit New Orleans longer because we'll make more money that way.  It doesn't matter to us where they stay.  

They can stay at one place for two nights and with us for three nights.  They don't have to stay all five nights with us, though most people who split their time between two locations, though, find themselves wishing they had just settled here.  Our experience is that people who stay longer understand New Orleans better.  They have a richer experience.  They appreciate the city and its many flavors with more gusto and savor.  If you want to stay in New Orleans for a day, there are plenty of hotels anxious to fill rooms.  

To us, you aren't a body filling a bed.  You are company.  We hope you don't choose to stay with us because we have a roof at night and a hot meal in the morning.  We hope you choose to stay with us to learn about New Orleans.  We are New Orleans ambassadors.

We use some name brand condiments, but they are Louisiana name brands.  Our dislike of the Heinz family of products has nothing to do with an alleged dislike of Secretary of State John Kerry.  He's welcome to stay here anytime.  We always look forward to the conversations.  It's just that you can eat Heinz ketchup (or any other Heinz condiment) anywhere in these great U.S. of A.  

You won't find this in our pantry:

When we first started out as innkeepers, we stayed at a bed and breakfast in Hot Springs, Arkansas.  Everything on the breakfast table was unabashedly from Walmart.  Now, we have nothing against Walmart, but for the prices we were paying, we weren't paying to eat cream cheese or butter or waffles or pre-cooked scrambled egg dishes fresh from the local Walmart freezer.  The Walmart in Arkansas isn't so different from the Walmart in Louisiana.  It is no different from the Walmart where you are from.  Argue what you want to the contrary, but I'm not believing it.  That breakfast was the proof.

You don't stay with us to eat food you can buy at Walmart.  You stay with us to sample a taste of New Orleans.  That's why we support our neighbors who are much better at making crawfish pie and bread pudding and apple fritters and buttermilk drops and quince jam and pickled quail eggs than we are.  If you want to eat scrambled eggs, stay home.  At our inn, every meal is a taste of the various neighborhoods that make up our kaleidoscope of a city, full of history and nuance and, frankly, delicious.  Every morning at our inn is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.  

Try getting a curated New Orleans breakfast salon at a hotel, even the Ritz-Carlton, or the Astor Crown Plaza, or the Roosevelt Hotel. We don't consider other bed and breakfasts in New Orleans our competition.  We expect our standard of service to exceed what you would find in a five-star Canal Street hotel.  You don't hunker down to breakfast and expect to talk to the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton for the next hour, do you?  At our inn, that's what you do.  And, unlike the general manager of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Frau Schmitt and I have spent innumerable hours investigating every aspect of New Orleans culture.  We aren't cooped up in our back office going over spread sheets and balance sheets and composing Power Point presentations for our corporate overlords.  

We own the brand.  We are the franchise.  An army of one inn.  Whatever happens, for good or for ill, is our responsibility.  Happily, for everyone concerned, it is mostly for good.  If something breaks, we fix it in a flash.

I'm a first name basis with everyone in the hardware store.  I tell them my problem and they tell me how to fix it.  How many hotel GMs can say that?  I wear a necktie on occasion, usually on Sundays, but my handyman apron is always at the ready.

We don't offer room service.  We don't offer Vol-Pak condiments either, whether they are made by Heinz or by some other food conglomerate.

We don't offer Corn Flakes, either.  You're in New Orleans.  Who want's Corn Flakes?  Even Superman won't deliver them.  



Some people refer to Frau Schmitt as a super woman because of her feats of hospitality.  I do.  As for me?  They call me all thumbs most of the time but it all works out in the end.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Zasu Pitts.  She had a great name but it wasn't a name that many people knew how to pronounce.  She started out as a dramatic actress in silent movies.  When talkies were introduced, she switched to comedy.  

However you are reading "Zasu," now, you are probably pronouncing it wrong.  I did it, too, for the longest time.  What is the right way to say her name?  "Say-Zoo."  It doesn't matter what the opening credits of this next clip say, it was "Say-Zoo."  That's what Zasu always said.  Feel like you're in New Orleans, yet?  

It's Esplan-AID Avenue, not ES-plah-nahd.



Thelma Todd knew how to say it.

Whatever you want to know about New Orleans, we can probably tell you.  We won't give you a canned and homogenized answer.  We'll give you the real deal.

When are you coming to New Orleans?

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
Where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Your Adult Spring Break Getaway---In New Orleans!

It's not just a movie

From the late great poet, Richard Armour:
"Shake and shake
the catsup bottle.
None'll come---
And then a lot'll."

Tabasco sauce is a kind of Creole and Cajun ketchup.  We put hot sauce on everything in New Orleans.  Some people like Tabasco brand, others prefer Crystal.  Crystal Hot Sauce, the official pepper sauce of the New Orleans Saints, is the local New Orleans favorite.  It's a long story as to why, aside from flavor, and we don't have the space to go into it here.  If you want to learn all the reasons, I'll be happy to drone on in a scholarly dissertation over breakfast.  Just the idea of it makes your mouth water, doesn't it?

In other news, Emma Fick finished her illustration of La Belle Esplanade for the book she's working on.  She did a really nice job:

I should probably say copyright Emma Fick

It should be noted that La Belle Esplanade has two owners.  One of them is your humble narrator, who is often called a colorful character.  The other is Frau Schmitt, who is also equally colorful.  Frau Schmitt doesn't always get as much press as I do, unfortunately.  She should.  She's the backbone of this operation.  I am just the most public face.  I think Frau Schmitt deserves a round of applause, and I am usually right about these things.

Let's finish off with the reason for the title of this installment: we've been named a top adult spring getaway destination.  I don't mean this kind of spring break getaway. 



Trust me.  I don't mean that kind of spring break. 

I mean the kind of spring break that the people at bedandbreakfast.com are selling.  Click the link to see the photo that they use to lead off that article.  That's the kind of spring break I'm talking about.  If you are interested, check out our website and make a reservation there.  Please, don't do it on bedandbreakfast.com.  

In case you are wondering if that was a paid endorsement, we didn't even know we were featured in the article until a rival website company called to tell us about it.  One would think that bedandbreakfast.com would have the courtesy to tell us but, truth be told, we don't have a lot of interaction with them.  We've been inspected by them and we are rated a Diamond Collection Inn by them, but we don't really give them much thought.  We prefer people who come to us through our website because those people can read about all we have to offer straight from the horse's mouth (mine).  

Some of the people who read our website even read our blog before deciding to stay with us.  We hear that this sometimes clinches the deal.  Maybe you're one of those people.  If so, thanks for stopping by.  We hope you are intrigued by what you've read here and that we'll be able to meet you in the months ahead.

So, where should you stay if you are coming to New Orleans for the spring, or during any time of year, really?  There is only one choice:

La Belle Esplanade

Where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade

A Small City Called New Orleans

New Orleans ain't whatcha think

I took the snapshot above from the roof of the New Orleans Athletic Club on North Rampart Street a few months ago.  The peach colored building, an old established electrical parts warehouse, is torn down as I write this.  What's going to replace it?  A hotel, of course.  We really only have one industry in New Orleans to speak of.  Thanks for coming down to visit.

North Rampart Street itself is all torn up and mostly closed to traffic as I write this.  There is going to be a new streetcar line that will run down N. Rampart Street as far as Elysian Fields Avenue by the end of this year.

Let's provide a little soundtrack video, shall we?



You won't believe this when you meet me, but I used to have the same haircut as the Fun Boy 3 singer.  I still have the same pants.  I sometimes wear them for breakfast.  At the ripe old age of 50, I have a hard time pulling off that haircut unless I've just rolled out of bed.  Now you know why I always wear a hat.

The jolly innkeeper

New Orleans is a real city, though it is sometimes hard for people to fathom that fact.  It doesn't look like any city I've ever lived in.  In a lot of ways, it is a giant town.  Frau Schmitt and I are always bumping into people we know as we run errands around the city.

Frau Schmitt's brother lives in China.  He told a co-worker who is from New Orleans that his sister runs a boutique inn in the middle of Esplanade Avenue.  He told his co-worker that the inn is one of three colorful houses on our street.  His co-worker said he knew exactly where he was talking about and he emailed Frau Schmitt's brother a picture.  Guess what the picture was of?  It was this:

La Belle Esplanade

I'm not suggesting that we are locally famous.  We aren't.  Our address is notable, however.  When you stay with us, you'll be staying in a local landmark.  Bus tours, bicycle tours, and walking tours stop in front of our house every day to admire our inn.  It can be a pain in the neck but it's mostly unobtrusive.  

Some people, our guests mainly, call your humble narrator The Jolly Innkeeper.  That's better than what some of our innkeeper compatriots are called.  It's better than being called the Solemn Innkeeper, The Distracted Innkeeper, the Sullen Innkeeper, Mr. Wet Blanket, The Souse,  Johnny-Come-Late, Saggy Pants, or That-Creepy-Lady-Who-Ripped-Us-Off.

Jolly Innkeeper has a nice ring to it when you consider the other possibilities that are tossed around by people who stay at other lodging options, including those offered on AirB&B.

Whenever someone calls me The Jolly Innkeeper, it reminds me of that Franz Hals painting:

The Jolly Toper

Whenever I think of that painting, it gives me hat envy.

I'd like to take this opportunity to mention, humbly and nonchalantly, that we've been ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans, and in all of Louisiana, for 23 months now.  If we can make it to April, that will be a solid two years being #1.  Thanks to everyone who has reviewed their stay with us.  Sincere thanks from the bottomless wells of our unsullied hearts.  We don't take it lightly.

He's looking at the future

Happily, we haven't yet been cited as a dangerous voice at the Dangerous Speech Project.  Why would we be?  We're all about love on Esplanade Avenue, love of New Orleans.  If you want to know what it is like to love where we live, you've found the right place.  Good memories are made on our street.

New Orleans' population is still about a 100,000 people less than it was before Katrina.  People who stay in the French Quarter and the Garden District are all, like, "Hey, what's all the fuss about?  Everything looks like it's 100% back from the flooding."  It isn't.  There is still plenty of work to be done.  We are part of a gigantic rebuilding project that is reforming New Orleans in more ways than one while trying to keep true to the spirit and traditions of the city.  There is no place else like New Orleans.  It really is magical here.

If you want to visit New Orleans to learn what it is like to be a part of this cadre of civic imagineers, La Belle Esplanade is open to host you and to help curate your New Orleans experience.  We won't just steer you to the Quarter or to Frenchmen Street, the lazy way.  We'll tell you about places that most tourists don't even know exist.  It always makes us happy when people go off the Convention and Visitors Bureau map.  That's why we provide different maps to navigate the city.  We enjoy the company of urban explorers and cultural connoisseurs.



You can follow whatever NOLA you want to.  As innkeepers, we aren't here to judge.  Our job is to help you find what you are looking for.  We live in a kaleidoscopic city that presents different viewpoints from every possible angle.  It's bewildering sometimes until you get used to it.  You will find what you are looking for in New Orleans, especially if what you are looking for is good memories.

Wherever you are in the world, if you say you are going to New Orleans everyone will know where you mean.  It really is magical here.  It's a small city that is world famous for a reason.  It really is magical here.  See for yourself.  

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning hosts a curated breakfast salon.