A Presidential New Orleans B&B

Macaroons!

A lot of people ask why they should stay in a bed and breakfast when they visit New Orleans instead of in one of the big hotels.  You could always stay in The Cobweb Hotel.




We run a clean place, I can tell you that.

The next time you're in New Orleans, consider staying at La Belle Esplanade.  We'll give a treat instead of "the treatment."

François Hollande

Why do we feature a picture of the current French President at this point?  Only because he looks very presidential in this picture swiped from Wikipedia.  When he was sneaking out of the presidential palace on his motor scooter to meet his mistress, he wasn't looking so presidential then.  Don't believe me?

I take my motor scooter out early every morning before anyone else in the house is awake.  I'm not going to meet my mistress.  I don't have a mistress.  Your humble narrator is married to Frau Schmitt and that's more than enough for me.  As Tammie the Housekeeper likes to tell me, "You're a very lucky man, Mr. King."  Tammie the Housekeeper says it all the time, to which I always reply, "I know, Tammie.  I know it well."  I likewise tell this to Frau Schmitt on a regular basis just so that she knows that I know.

Tammie the Housekeeper

When I'm out scooting about during the wee small hours of the morning, it's to pick up fresh bread and pastry for our guests, hot out of the oven.  Sometimes, when I pick up a po' boy loaf at Aloise Binder, the bread is so hot it burns my hand.  Now that's some fresh bread.  You're not going to get bread that fresh at the Cobweb Hotel.... or macaroons, either, for that matter.

When I was a younger humble narrator, some people used to say that I reminded them of Sting, that is, they meant that Stink (whoops! typo! darned autocorrect!) and I bore a physical resemblance.


People also used to say that I resembled Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran.  I'm dating myself.  As I got older, I was often mistaken for Tim Robbins.  He and I shared a similar haircut when The Shawshank Redemption played on cable TV every other day.  When was that?  The late 1990s/early 2000s? Those were some tough times, I'll tell you.  

Nowadays, Sting, Mr. Le Bon, Mr. Robbins and myself have aged differently enough in our own individual ways that I don't think any of us are mistaken for the others.  I still get a Tim Robbins reference from time to time.  I'm nobody famous except around our block.

Wanna know who I was compared to most recently?  Garrison Keillor.  Crimminy!  Talk about a face made for radio.  This had more to do with my rambling way with telling stories around the breakfast table.  I met Garrison Keillor the last time he was in New Orleans.  He graciously autographed a book that is on a shelf in our lobby.

I promise all the celebrities who stay with us that I will not reveal their identities.  I'm not saying Garrison Keillor stayed with us.  He didn't.  I'm just stating our policy for all the celebrities who want to visit New Orleans and get off the beaten path and enjoy the city on its own terms without being bothered.  Heck, Frau Schmitt and I don't know who most celebrities are.  Tammie the Housekeeper has to tell us.  Every guest is a VIP at La Belle Esplanade.

Maybe François Hollande will make a reservation.  We aren't a no-tell motel, but we are discreet.  

If you're looking for a treat rather than "the treatment," you know where you can stay: La Belle Esplanade, where the rest comes easy.

À votre santé, Président Hollande,
de vos amis au La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.