Another New Orleans Character.

 

If you've never met a guy like Ozzy, you're lucky.  I know Ozzy and I wish I didn't.  Talk about a knucklehead----that's Ozzy, warts and all.  He's another New Orleans character.

His real name is Oswald, which shows that he came from a family that didn't love him.  Children can be so cruel in school.  Ozzy grew up with a chip on his shoulder.  His temper has got a hair trigger that's itchy.  I hate to spend any time with him because it usually turns into an argument and that argument usually turns into fisticuffs, which I don't enjoy.  Great.  What a great way to spend my afternoon, Ozzy, talking to NOPD.  Thanks.

Still, I like Ozzy well enough.  He's always got a story.

I met Ozzy at Liuzza's-by-the-Track for lunch.  He invited me.  I would never invite him to lunch.  I cherish my peace of mind.

Ozzy was already there when I walked in.  He was sitting at the bar with a big, icy, cold schooner of Dixie in front of him.  He was taking a sip from the schooner, using both hands because it was heavy, when he saw me behind him in the mirror.  He took a swig and waved me over to the stool next to his.

"How have you been?"  Ozzy said.

I was noncommittal.  Nothing much has been going on in my life.  Nothing I hadn't already told Ozzy when I saw him two months ago.  "This and that," I said.

"I know what you mean, brother, I know what you mean," Ozzy said.

Ozzy took another swig from his schooner, again using both hands to hold it.  "I wanna buy my friend a drink," he said to the bartender.  

The bartender looked up and she smiled when she realized who I was.  It was Anaïs.  I hadn't seen her for a long while.  "What'll it be, Mr. King?" she said.

"I'll take a Dixie, too, but just in a pint glass," I said.

"Your pleasure is mine," Anaïs said with a wink.

"Do you two know each other?" Ozzy said.

"Ive seen Mr. King around town," Anaïs answered.

Ozzy took another drink from his schooner.  Here is the story he told me today:

Ozzy was at the bus stop on the corner of Dumaine and North Broad Streets, waiting to catch the 94 bus to Gentilly.  He had to go to the pawn shop.  

A lady wearing a blanket came up to the bus stop and stood next to him.

At first, he didn't realize she was wearing nothing but a blanket.  It covered all of her. He thought is was odd to wear a blanket on an August afternoon in New Orleans but, in New Orleans, people do all sorts of queer things.  We don't ask many questions.  Let the good times roll.

Anyhow, she dropped the blanket and there she was, naked as the day she was born right there on the corner of Dumaine and North Broad Streets, right in front of Magnolia Meat Market.  All she was wearing was this blanket.

She didn't drop the blanket intentionally.  She was embarrassed and she quickly picked up her blanket and rearranged it around her body, like a cloak, to hide her nudity.

Ozzy was embarrassed, too.

He offered her his shirt.  "It's the least I can do," he told her.  "I can't give you my pants because I'm not wearing boxers but I can give you my shirt so that at least people can't see your milk jugs."  Count on Ozzy to keep everything classy.

The lady accepted.  She put on his shirt while he held the blanket around her to block the view from oncoming traffic.

Now, in most cities no shirt and no shoes means no service, and that is usually true on the New Orleans RTA, too.  By the rulebook everyone is supposed to be fully clothed on city buses.

When the bus pulled up, the lady went first and paid her fare.  The driver looked at Ozzy and gave him a disapproving look.  Ozzy went up the steps and explained the situation to the bus driver.  The driver nodded him on, no charge for a deed well done.  Ozzy sat in the back where he was sure not to bother anyone.

He got off in Gentilly and went to the pawn shop.  Unfortunately, he didn't have any business there anymore.  His original plan was to pawn his shirt for five bucks until payday.

He bought a plain white tee shirt at the corner gas station for $1.99 and took the bus back to Liuzza's-by-the-Track where he'd been annoying Anaïs all afternoon after that. 

"Thank you for taking him off my hands, Mr. King," Anaïs said while Ozzy visited the men's room.

I eventually walked Ozzy home before I went home by myself.  It was a day of good deeds.  It was a typical New Orleans day.

We live in a wonderful city full of colorful characters getting by by doing right.  New Orleans is that kind of a place.  We love it here off the usual tourist radar.  You will, too.  You'll see.

THIS BLOG IS SPONSORED BY LA BELLE ESPLANDE, a five-suite boutique bed-and-breakfast hotel that is close enough to the typical tourist action that you won't miss out on anything that your friends who came here for a bachelorette party or a convention have told you about.  We are also far enough inside the real city, the part where people live year round, that you'll discover what it means to fall in love with the real New Orleans.

According to TripAdvisor, La Belle Esplanade has been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans, and in Louisiana, every month since April 2014.  We've also been ranked the #2 place to stay in the U.S.----and the #16 place to stay in the world.  We don't rest on our kudos here.  We are New Orleans goodwill ambassadors and we look forward to sharing our part of the authentic New Orleans state of mind with you while you are here.

No one ever says their visit to New Orleans is too long.  It is always too short.  The longer you are here, the more things you will discover to explore.  Good memories that will last a lifetime are made at La Belle Esplanade every day.  I know.  I live here.

Be a New Orleans character, yourself, while you are here.  You won't need to visit a pawn shop to afford it.  We'll be here for you when the coronavirus is nothing more than a bad memory.  Even a mediocre day in New Orleans is better than the best day the best day of fishing.

Have a great New Orleans day today, as best you can, no matter where you happen to be as you read this.

Cheers!