Dan Akroyd's Best New Orleans Friend

We were at Old Road Coffee, on the corner of Bayou Road and North Johnson Street.  It's a new coffee shop.  It opened at the start of the coronavirus pandemic.  Nice timing, but, do you know what?  They're making it.  The neighbors are supporting them.  Old Road Coffee has become a socially distanced community gathering place between March 2020 and now.  Imagine what it will be like when they have a shop full of people not wearing masks!

The building used to be a fence company.  Before that, it was a grocery store.  Now, it's the hottest little coffee shop in Tremé.

We were sitting at an outside table on the North Johnson Street side of the sidewalk, the table with the view up Barracks Street.

"I was at Dan Akroyd's place last night," Sparky Etoile said to me.  "I'm Dan Akroyd's best New Orleans friend."  He said it with a straight face.  He believed it.  He's been saying it for years.

All the names in this story have been changed.  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Sparky Etoile is old New Orleans.  He is old, old, old New Orleans.  He says he is related to Marie Laveau.  Maybe he is.  He also says he is related to Governor Nicholls.  That may be true, too.  Sparky Etoile says a lot of things.  He can afford to.  He's rich.

Shortly after the levees broke during Hurricane Katrina, Sparky Etoile developed an unusual fixation with Dan Akroyd (not his real name).  

Whenever we met it was always, "Dan Akroyd's rooftop apartment is getting fixed up faster than my townhouse.  What's he got that I haven't got?" or, "I have the same plumber as Dan Akroyd but the plumber won't give me the time of day, even though he's parked right in front of Dan Akroyd's building.  Would it really kill the plumber to just walk next door to my house instead of making me wait till next week?" or, "Dan Akroyd had a party on his roof on Thursday and all his posh friends were there.  They kept me up all night."

He was intent on becoming friends with Dan Akroyd, maybe, even, Dan Akroyd's best New Orleans friend.  It's not the Dan Akroyd you're thinking of----any resemblance to the Dan Akroyd you're thinking of, living or dead, and this one is purely coincidental.

Sparky Etoile met this woman named Miranda (not her real name).  However it worked out, it turned out that Miranda was close friends with this Dan Akroyd so she arranged for Sparky to meet him.  They had dinner at Antione's, Sparky's treat.  That's how Miranda got Dan Akroyd to agree to it.

After that fateful dinner, as Sparky Etoile recalls it, Miranda falls out of the picture.

Ever since then, all Sparky Etoile ever wants to do is brag about how he is Dan Akroyd's best New Orleans friend.  As Dan Akroyd likes to say, "We can never have too many friends."  

I've met Dan Akroyd.  He's a nice enough guy, not the goof he pretends to be onscreen.  He's well read and he has well-informed opinions, which is not to say that we always agree.  We've had some interesting conversations about President Trump.  I wouldn't try to claim to be Dan Akroyd's best New Orleans friend, but, that's never been my goal.  I would call us acquaintances.  Nothing more and nothing less.

Dan Akroyd knows a lot of people around New Orleans.  It's only four degrees of separation between anyone you meet in New Orleans and Dan Akroyd.  He has made plenty of connections in this wonderful city we call home.

I've never asked Dan Akroyd if Sparky Etoile is his best New Orleans friend.  It's none of my business.  I'll take Sparky's word for it.

When Sparky was telling me about how great it was to hang out with Dan Akroyd while we were sitting at Old Road Coffee this morning, a guy walking his dog walked by.  As soon as the dog heard Sparky say Dan Akroyd's name, the dog stopped in his tracks and stared at Sparky.  

The dog's master tried to pull him along but the dog wouldn't budge.  He just stared and stared at Sparky Etoile.  The dog didn't look at me.  I may as well have not existed as far as the dog was concerned.  He only had eyes for Sparky Etoile.

Sparky put his hands up.  "Relax," he said to the dog, "I'm Dan Akroyd's best New Orleans friend."

Once the dog dog heard that, he nodded like he understood and followed his master up Bayou Road toward that big bright orange house with blue shutters at 2216 Esplanade Avenue.

All the names of people have been changed in this article.  Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.  There really is an Old Road Coffee Shop.  I recommend it.  So does Sparky Etoile.  The dog would probably recommend it, too, if the dog could talk.

THIS BLOG IS SPONSORED BY LA BELLE ESPLANADE.