New Orleans Onion Mound

Remember when I was with Rick the other day at Kennedy Place, that park that is bounded by Ursulines Avenue, North Rendon Street, and Bell Street?  I didn't mention it then but that is when I discovered the New Orleans onion mound that everyone's been talking about.  It isn't as big as you'd think from the smell but it's real.  People aren't lying.

When I was with Rick the other day, I walked the boundaries of Kennedy Place from the lakeside tip down Bell Street, and then, after crossing the triangle's base, up Ursulines Avenue.  The whole stroll smelled like baby powder but, at one point, on the Ursulines Avenue side, I smelled onions----a lot of raw onions.

It lasted for a second, but it was overpowering during that second.  

It wasn't all the CheeWees Rick is always eating.  Nowadays, all Rick eats is the new taco-flavored CheeWees.  This was the smell of raw onions, a big yellow creole onions----like ten pounds of them.

I didn't mention anything to Rick but, in my head, I decided to investigate later, which is was I exactly did last night, around midnight, long after Rick had gone home until tomorrow.

I took my bicycle in the interest of speed and silence.

I parked my bike under the streetlight and I followed my nose to where the onion smell was coming from.  Here was the New Orleans onion mound I was looking for.  It was a pile of fresh dirt, about the size of a shoebox, in the otherwise manicured park lawn.  That spot smelled like a whole pile of chopped yellow onions.

I had planned ahead and brought a trowel with me.

As I bent down to dig at the source of this overpowering onion smell, I felt a hand my shoulder.  I stood up.  It was Agent 11.

I will explain all about Agent 11 another day.  He is not NOPD.  He is a special agent.  That is all you need to know for the moment.  That's really all you need to know about him ever.  The less you know, the better, but, he is a good man to have on your side in a scuffle.

Agent 11 and I had a conversation.  Back and forth, this and that, give and take.  Nothing special.  We were both cagey.  Agent 11 isn't a cop but he tried to pull a Kojak on me.  I played all Columbo the whole conversation.  

In the end, Agent 11 didn't learn anything from me that he didn't already know.  I didn't learn anything from Agent 11 that I wanted to know.  We both agreed to part company none the wiser.

Agent 11 did tell me to keep away from this sector in Kennedy Place that smells of onions.  "I can't tell you anything more than this," he said, "This spot is not to be disturbed for any reason under direct order of Governor John Bel Edwards.  Got it?"

I tipped my cap to Agent 11.  "Got it," I said.  Who am I do argue with the duly elected governor of the great State of Louisiana?

So, what's the skinny?  Darned if I know.  I am officially persona non grata at the park unless I have business there.  Luckily, I often do have business on Ursulines Avenue.  I'll keep my eyes open.

When we parted company last night, Agent 11 did say one last thing to me.  These were his last words: "Watch yourself, pal.  There are things in New Orleans that will break a man if he isn't strong enough.  I don't need to tell you that.  I'm gonna tell you this, though----this is one of those things that makes New Orleans a Man-Breaker."

Here is another thing Agent 11 said:  "Don't talk about this.  I know you hear a lot around town about this New Orleans onion mound but don't add to the rumors.  No matter what you hear, this one is not related to the New Orleans onion mound Uptown."

"Got it," I said.

I bicycled my way back home alone in the dark.  I've vowed to myself that this won't be my last visit to Kennedy Place after dark.

Stay tuned for more......

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