What To Do During a Week in New Orleans.

Six plus six equals twelve and there are twelve months in a year.  You should spend part of one of those twelve months in New Orleans.  You should spend a week.  A week is the perfect amount of time to spend in New Orleans.  A week in New Orleans will evaporate your cares and get your head screwed on straight.

Greetings from New Orleans.

A Week in New Orleans heals all wounds.

Even if you're not hurting, a week in New Orleans will make you feel better.  No one ever says their visit to New Orleans is too long. The longer you stay, the more you'll realize how much more there is to discover in this wonderful city we call home.  There are angels in the details.

Where Bayou Road crosses Bell Street, New Orleans, LA.

I live here.  What would I do with a week in New Orleans?  Here is what I did on Monday:

This past Monday, I had lunch at Café Minh after I went to the Mid-City Branch of the New Orleans Public Library across the street.  

Before I went to the Library, I went to Meyer the Hatter to see what new straw hats had arrived from Dobbs in the most recent shipment.

After lunch, I went to see the new exhibit at the New Orleans Museum of Art at the end of Esplanade Avenue, about a mile's picturesque stroll from La Belle Esplanade.  I lingered in the permanent collection's gallery dedicated to Romanticism and Symbolism.  

Then, Frau Schmitt and I went to the movies.  We saw Downton Abbey.  Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation knows all about Downton Abbey.  I didn't know anything about it when I was buying the popcorn.  I really enjoyed the film.  I am now a confirmed Downton Abbey fan.  The movie was playing at The Broad Theater, around the corner from our inn.  How many places do you know that can say, "We have a new movie theater in our neighborhood."  New Orleans is like that.

One day in New Orleans contains the stuff from which lifetime good memories are made.  Imagine a week in this magical city.  Better yet, don't imagine it, visit New Orleans for a week.  You won't regret it.  If you are bored in New Orleans, you should see a doctor.

This house is known as The House on Bayou Road.

A word from our sponsor:  If you are going to spend a week in New Orleans, we can think of no better place to stay than La Belle Esplanade.  Ranked the #1 small hotel in New Orleans since April 2014, and #2 in the United States----AND, #16 in the world.    Check out our website and make a reservation.  La Belle only has five suites so plan ahead and choose wisely.  

Make Good New Orleans Memories

Catch as catch can, a day in New Orleans is a plate holding a generous slice of paradise pie.  Dig in.  Get your knife and your fork.  Grab your spoon.  Hunger makes the best sauce.  Make good New Orleans memories while you are in this wonderful kaleidoscope of a city we call home.  Welcome.

People who live in New Orleans have nothing but good memories.  It's one danged lucky thing after another in New Orleans.  The sun shines even when it is raining in New Orleans.  The best things in life are free in New Orleans.

Open up your heart to the New Orleans State of Mind.

Twenty years from now, no matter where I find myself, I'm going to wake up after having a dream about my time in New Orleans, a sweet dream.  I am going to wake up smiling.  You don't even have to try to make good New Orleans memories.  The good memories will take care of themselves.  If you are smiling now, you must be thinking of New Orleans.  Lucky you.

It's Tuesday and I'm grooving on a sunny New Orleans afternoon.  Where are you?  What are you doing?  You belong in New Orleans.

 Today, I was in Lakeview, Mid-City, Tremé, the 7th Ward, the French Quarter, the Central Business District, and the Lower Garden District.  I had only skimmed the surface of today's many New Orleans delights.  With open eyes and an open heart, New Orleans will treat you right.

Some kids were putting on a puppet show today in their front yard on Marshall Foch Street.  That was fun.

This can be your New Orleans headquarters.  Make it so.

A few words from our sponsor:  

You can make good New Orleans memories, most people do, or, you can make great New Orleans memories.  Get out of the French Quarter and visit a bar or a restaurant in a real neighborhood that isn't in the guidebooks.  There is much, much more to New Orleans than what you'll read in the guidebooks.  That's why people live here.  Home is where the heart is.  The #1 place to stay in New Orleans is La Belle Esplanade.  It's a small hotel that may not be fore everyone.  It's for people who want to visit New Orleans like they belong here.  You belong here.  

À votre santé,

La Belle Esplanade

You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue.

Pick Yourself Up In New Orleans

New Orleans is a hard habit to kick.  Once you've got New Orleans under your skin, you've got to come back to scratch an itch that can't be satisfied anywhere else.  Some people have New Orleans in their blood.  Some people live in a New Orleans state of mind.  They are all lucky people.  I know.  I'm one of them---aaaaand---I live in New Orleans, too.

Your humble narrator.

Ink-a-dink-a-doo.  Fiddle-dee-dee.  

The stars are reflected in the wakes of the barges that head up and down the Mississippi River in front of the French Quarter.  Fortune tellers crowd Jackson Square in front of St. Louis Cathedral----even at 3:00AM.  When the sun rises, New Orleans is all aglow; the white herons are tinted pink as the clouds before anyone but beignet cooks are awake.  New Orleans is a city of details.  New Orleans is a city of light.  

When I want to be happy I close my eyes and I think of New Orleans.  Then, I open my eyes and I am already here.  You belong in New Orleans, too, if only for a week.  One week in New Orleans is better than one month anywhere else.

New Orleans is a tonic.  It's a spritzer.  It's a pick-me-up.   

In a New Orleans state of mind, there are no strangers; there are only friends you haven't yet met.  In a New Orleans state of mind, three 25-cent martinis are enough for one person over the course of a three-course lunch.  In a New Orleans state of mind, beads sparkle dangling off the branches of every tree, so pretty.  In a New Orleans state of mind, sno-balls are something you eat, not that you throw.  In a real New Orleans state of mind, you'll feel like you belong here.  Why?  Because you do belong here.

New Orleans is calling you.

Kitty-Kat knows you belong here.

A Word From Our Sponsor:

If you want to visit New Orleans like you belong here----and you do belong here...  If you want to discover what it means to fall in love with the real New Orleans----I know where you should stay.

Nobody ever says their visit is too long.  Stay for as long as you can.  Nobody ever is bored in New Orleans.  If you are a sinner drawn to New Orleans' reputation or if you are a saint looking for a place to call home, we hope you consider staying at the #1 small hotel in the city: La Belle Esplanade.  We look forward to meeting you and sharing our part of the city with you.

Get Your Good Self Down to New Orleans.

When you have New Orleans on your mind, you're in love.  Ours is an easy city to love.  Love is in the air in New Orleans.  New Orleans will get under your skin, deep in the heart of you.  I see it happen all the time.

I talk about it all the time.  A day in New Orleans is time well spent.  People stay at La Belle Esplanade and after their first day out in the city they tell me that they've never seen another place so beautiful.  Tell me about it.  I live here.  I go up and down our street several times a day.  I think the same thing.

Sometimes, I'll stop dead in my tracks, struck by some detail that has caught my attention and I'll say, out loud, to nobody in particular, "I love it here."  I mean it.

I am embedded in New Orleans, of course.  I live here.  I love here.  I spend most of my time in a mile and a half radius of La Belle Esplanade's address.  I go out every morning to buy bread and pastries from our neighborhood bakeries and coffee shops.  I know all the gossip.  I have my finger on the pulse of our part of the city.  When I get back to home base, I share that intelligence with our guests.

Visit New Orleans like you belong here.  You do belong here.  New Orleans is a magical city.  Everyone is welcome.  There is more to New Orleans than getting drunk on Bourbon Street.  When was the last time I was on Bourbon Street?  Hmmmmmmm.  Last September?  I wasn't drunk.  I was just passing through.

Don't pass through the rest of New Orleans outside of Bourbon Street.   There is so much going on here.  People live their lives and make good memories that will last a lifetime every day on every block of New Orleans' fancifully named streets.  Not just on Esplanade Avenue but on Humanity Street and Arts Street and Music Street and Mithra Street and Clio Street and Napoleon Avenue and Socrates Street, and on Magic Street and on Mystery Street and on Allard Avenue and on Terpsichore Street and Tchoupitous Street and Bernadotte Street and Bienville Street, outside the French Quarter, and on Caffin Avenue and Nuns Street and Dante Street and Olive Street, too.

Good memories, the best kind, are made in New Orleans in every way, every day.  You'll see. 

--- If you are looking for someplace to stay when you visit New Orleans, I happen to be an innkeeper.  I run the #1-ranked place to stay in New Orleans (it's been #1 since April 2014 according to TripAdvisor).  You could do a lot worse.  Believe me.  You can choose a lot worse.  If you are looking to experience authentic New Orleans off the usual tourist radar, you know where to find us: in the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue: La Belle Esplanade.

Lake Pontchartrain monsters

Lake Pontchartrain is the body of water directly north of the City of New Orleans.  New Orleans is on the South Shore.  Directly south, by the compass is the Mississippi River.  New Orleans is on the East Bank of the Mississippi.  It gets complicated, the way most things are in New Orleans.  We live in a different world.

Lake Ponchartrain isn't a true lake.  It isn't self contained and it isn't fresh water.  Lake Pontchartrain is brackish because it opens to Lake Borgne, which is even less of a true lake, which is connected to the Gulf of Mexico.  Atlantic Ocean water enters the Gulf and it enters Lake Pontchartrain through the Rigolets.  I'd draw you a map but that would make about as much sense as this description or the picture above.  Just take my word for it.

Lake Pontchartrain averages about 12 feet deep.  It's shallow.  Blue crabs come from there.  They are the tastiest blue crabs you'll ever taste.  They turn red when they're boiled.

Manatees live in Lake Pontrchartain.  So do various varieties of fish that prefer brackish waters, a combination of salty and sweet.  Dolphins sometimes venture into Lake Pontchartrain.  A narwhal was once found in Lake Pontchartrain in the 19th century.  One of its ribs is on display in our lobby.

What about cryptids?  Is there a Poncho, the way there is a Nessie or a Champ?  Nope.  No sea serpents, aquatic dinosaurs, giant squid, or other unexplained creatures have been sighted in Lake Pontchartrain, unless you count the time Tammie the Housekeeper's Aunt Millie was found by a US Coast Guard patrol in the middle of the lake stark naked and singing "Sugar, Sugar," at the top of her lungs. 

Tammy the Housekeeper

You never know what you'll find in New Orleans but you can be sure that there aren't any unexplained creatures in Lake Pontchartrain.  New Orleans has enough mythology about it that the city doesn't need to add sea serpents to the list.  You can find vampires in the French Quarter, mermen in the Industrial Canal, fairy washer women off Florida Avenue, and all sorts of other things within city limits.  We don't have any need to make up things that lurk offshore.

New Orleans is full enough of surprises as is.  

LIFE IS GOOD IN NEW ORLEANS.

--- If you are looking for someplace to stay when you visit New Orleans, I happen to be an innkeeper.  I run the #1-ranked place to stay in New Orleans (it's been #1 since April 2014 according to TripAdvisor).  You could do a lot worse.  Believe me.  You can choose a lot worse.  If you are looking to experience authentic New Orleans off the usual tourist radar, you know where to find us: in the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue: La Belle Esplanade.

New Orleans Sugar

There's a new brass band song making the rounds around New Orleans at parades and weddings and at impromptu street corner jam sessions.  It's based on an old tune, a classic tune.  You can hear it from the bars on Frenchmen Street, and also from where the brass bands practice, in the music halls and neighborhood bars on Claiborne Avenue or A.P. Tureaud Avenue, or any number of back-a-town backstreet joints.

If you are of a certain age, when you hear the trumpets and the trombones and the tubas and the cornets and the drums play this song, you'll recognize the tune.  It's a classic.

If you are too young to know the original song, you'll still be tapping your toes and shimmying to the beat and the melody anyway.  This was a number one song in its day for many good reasons.  It is a pure pop confection of danceability and lighthearted bliss.  In New Orleans, we dance like nobody is watching.  We love happiness as much as the next person, but, perhaps, in New Orleans we treasure our happiness more.

Here is the song's original version:

The words for this newest, latest version of the song are similar to the original but different in important ways.  The lyrics have been pressed through the New Orleans filter.  They've become customized to ring more sweet and more true.  Welcome to The New Orleans State of Mind:

Sugar.
Ah, honey, honey.
New Orleans is my candy city
And it's got me wanting more...

Honey.
Ah, sugar, sugar.
New Orleans is a chocolate city
And it's got me wanting more....

I just can't believe the loveliness of loving New Orleans.
I just can't believe it's true.

When I spent a week in New Orleans, I knew how sweet a kiss can be.
I now know how sweet a kiss can be....

Like summer sunshine,
Pour New Orleans sweetness over me.
Pour that magic all over me.

Oh, New Orleans, pour a little sugar on it, honey.
Pour a little sugar on it, NOLA.
You make my life so sweet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIFE IS GOOD IN NEW ORLEANS.

--- If you are looking for someplace to stay when you visit New Orleans, I happen to be an innkeeper.  I run the #1-ranked place to stay in New Orleans (it's been #1 since April 2014 according to TripAdvisor).  You could do a lot worse.  Believe me.  You can choose a lot worse.  If you are looking to experience authentic New Orleans off the usual tourist radar, you know where to find us: in the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue: La Belle Esplanade.

Using Trip Advisor in New Orleans

Mister Apple

If you're like me when you have something heavy weighing on your mind, and you spend a couple of sleepless nights turning it over and over in your head, and you finally decide you can't think about it anymore, you'll head down to the French Quarter to the apple store.  

This isn't the kind of Apple Store you're thinking of, the company with the stock ticker AAPL.  The apple store I'm talking about in the French Quarter is Mister Apple, a beloved icon in our community, the way Mister Softee may be in yours.

Mister Softee

When I have a problem I just can't seem to lick, I mull it over with a nice plump and juicy candied apple in my mitt.

The Mister Apple store in the French Quarter is at 201 North Peters Street.  If you happen to find yourself wrestling with a mental dilemma Uptown, they've recently opened another location, this one at 4505 Magazine Street.  Thanks Mister Apple.

*****

This far into today's installment, you may be wondering what had me in such a dither.  Okay, I'll tell you.  I was wondering where I should stay if I were visiting New Orleans.

This is an academic question, purely speculative and theoretical, most hypothetical, to say the least.  After all, I live in New Orleans.  I stay in the 2200 block of Esplanade Avenue.  In fact, that is where I spend much of my time.

La Belle Esplanade

But, if, like most of you, gentle readers, I was planning a vacation in New Orleans, how would I decide where to lay my weary head after a day's excitement living the good life the Big Easy way?  

If I were planning a New Orleans vacation, I would want to stay in a place that is close to all the tourist attractions I might want to see, but far enough away that I could get a good night's sleep.  I don't like a lot of hustle and bustle, especially when all that hustle and bustle is generated by a crowd of drunks nursing neon green frozen drinks in souvenir cups shaped like a hand grenade and they are stumbling outside my room at all hours when I'm trying to sleep, shouting at each other, getting into fistfights, and urinating or vomiting, or both, on the side of the building in which I'm trying to sleep.

Mister Hand Grenade

That is a real New Orleans French Quarter experience, but it isn't one that I particularly enjoy.  I have stayed overnight in the French Quarter.  It was interesting, but it isn't something that I choose to repeat.  After a couple nights of that, I was ready to go home.  To each his or her own, of course.

I would also like to be in a neighborhood that offers a lot of big city local amenities that are a bit off the usual tourist radar.  I would also like to have someone around who would tell me about the neighborhood rather than just point me in the direction of a brochure rack, the way the hotel concierge sometimes will.

If I were planning a vacation, I would look at my options on Trip Advisor.  I don't have a cozy relationship with Trip Advisor.  We're on speaking terms but nothing more.  Our inn doesn't pay them any money to be listed or ranked on their site. I'm familiar with how the site operates and I think their policies are on the up-and-up.  All of my experiences with Trip Advisor (stock ticker: TRIP) have been positive.  When Frau Schmitt and I travel, which isn't too often, we use Trip Advisor to decide where to stay. 

I don't know how big or pervasive Trip Advisor is as a company.  I've only recently become aware that the company advertises on television.  Frau Schmitt and I don't watch a lot of television---we're too busy to travel and we're too busy to watch TV--- but I was sitting in the bar at the New Orleans Athletic Club after a strenuous workout and I saw a Trip Advisor ad being broadcast.  Yes, our gym has a bar in it.  That's the way things are in New Orleans.




My curiosity piqued, I looked up hotels in New Orleans on Trip Advisor.  This next bit may be a little tedious reading for some, but I think it is important to note.  Since I'm in the industry, I find it interesting.

The number one hotel as of this writing is the Grenoble House, in the French Quarter, with 371 reviews.  Overall, the hotel scores 4.5 stars.  Of those, 287 are excellent, 63 are good, 16 are average, 4 are poor and 1 is terrible.  The Grenoble House has the least reviews of any of the hotels in the top 30.  Most of hotels in New Orleans have one or two thousand, though this varies, naturally.

The number two hotel is Hotel Mazarin, also in the French Quarter.  The Mazarin has 2810 reviews, again 4.5 stars overall.  Of these reviews, 1966 are excellent.  Not bad.  There are also 641 that are scored good, 115 average, 67 poor and 21 terrible.

We can go down the list but I don't want to bore you with all these numbers.  If you look at the percentages, these are very respectable---for a hotel.  I'm not going to do the math to tell you what percentage of reviews are excellent vs. good, etc.  I will just put forth a general observation: when a hotel has X excellent reviews, the number of good reviews will be a tad more than a quarter of the excellent total and so on down the line.  

There is nothing wrong with being good.  It's much, much better than being terrible.

The 121st hotel in the rankings for New Orleans (which I will not name) has 37 excellent reviews, 54 good, 25 average, 9 poor and 10 
terrible.  

Licensed B&Bs on Trip Advisor are somewhat different.  If you look at the number one ranked small boutique inn in New Orleans (and in all of Louisiana), you'll find it has a total of 348 reviews as of this writing.  That's a little less than the Grenoble House.  Of these 338 (97.1%) are excellent and 10 (2.9%) are good.  There are no average, poor, or terrible reviews.

The other top 10 inns listed under B&Bs on Trip Advisor score, on average, about 94% excellent reviews, 5% good, and a smattering of other classifications.  Most of the boutique operations in New Orleans score 5 stars in overall satisfaction versus 4.5 stars for hotels.  When all the scores are tallied, no hotel ever earns more than 4.5 stars.  None that I've seen, at least.

Do you want to stay somewhere where guests' opinions boil down to their memories being somewhere between good and excellent, or do you want to stay somewhere where the guests repeatedly report their visit as generating an excellent experience.  The choice is entirely up to you.

What do all these statistics mean?  Maybe nothing in the end.  A boutique experience in a real neighborhood isn't what everyone wants out of their vacation.  Some people just want to go to Bourbon Street and get pie-eyed drinking Jesters.  I have no quibble with that.  La Belle Esplanade, or any of the other B&Bs which rate higher in guest satisfaction than the big hotels, may not be the place for that particular visitor.  He or she may only need a pass-out bed.  In that case, the #121 hotel in New Orleans is money well spent.

I've never even tasted a Jester.  Frau Schmitt tells me to steer clear of sweet drinks that are mostly grain alcohol.  I listen to her because she is usually right about these things.  One of our guests did gift us with a souvenir Jester cup, though.  It's in a place of honor on a shelf in our lobby.




La Belle Esplanade is the place for me.  It had better be.  I run the place alongside Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation.  We spend a lot of time here and we invest a lot of effort and capital to make it a place worth staying in.  Ours is an inn to remember in the best way.

If you are thinking about visiting New Orleans and you aren't sure where to stay, think about checking out what the reviews on Trip Advisor have to say.  Being ranked #1 is a matter of algorithms that reflect guest satisfaction.  Read the reviews.  Don't just look at the stars, or bubbles, as Trip Advisor likes to call them.  You can learn a lot from reading what guests have written and what the innkeepers write in response.  If what you read sounds good to you, go to that inn's website and make a reservation.

I do my best thinking while noshing on a candied apple.  You might do your best thinking while reading reviews on Trip Advisor.  Be warned though: much like this blog, you can waste a lot of time there reading the archived material.

Don't overthink your vacation.  Use your good intuition when you decide to visit New Orleans.  You can make a lot of worse choices than deciding to stay at La Belle Esplanade.  Better memories are made on our street.  No one ever says their stay was too long.  It is always too short.  There is a lot to experience in our part of the city.  You'll never see everything, but that gives you a reason to come back for more.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Some Funny Things Happened in New Orleans Today

The Daily Double

Frau Schmitt and I went to the theater this afternoon.  A funny thing happened on our way to 'A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.'

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum is currently playing at Le Petit Théâtre du Vieux Carré in the French Quarter and your humble narrator and his missus had matinee tickets.  In case you don't know, the play originally opened on Broadway in 1962 and, if my memory serves me correctly, it won seven Tony Awards during its first run.  

Le Petit Théâtre is connected to Dickie Brennan's Tableau, a pretty swanky restaurant where my mother likes to hang out for a mid-afternoon cocktail when she's in town.  Frau Schmitt and I got to the bar in Tableau just as happy hour had started (2-6 daily) so we ordered French 75s for $5 apiece and a small cheese platter before the show.

The bartender complimented us for being sharp dressers, which, compared to the crowd that was in there at the time, I suppose we are.  I struck up a conversation with the bartender.  "Tell me if this story sounds familiar," I said.

"During this past Mardi Gras I was here with my mother, who likes to pop in here when she's in town.  Later that very same day, we were at Buffa's on Esplanade Avenue and you sat right behind us."

"I remember that," the bartender said.

I added, "Then your roommate met you there and a couple from out of town wanted to watch the game on TV and they shared your table with you and he watched the game and she talked to you the whole time."

"You're right," the bartender said, "aannnnd---you bought me a root beer!"  High five.  It was a bottle of Barq's.

"That was sure was one night to remember," I said and we all nodded and smiled wistfully off into the distance.

Our trip down memory lane was interrupted by the television.  Jeopardy was on the TV and you'll never guess what the Daily Double was under the heading "Posh Hostelries."

The Daily Double

I'm not going to lie to you and say that everyone in the room shouted out, "La Belle Esplanade!" in unison.  Only about half the locals in the room did and about three quarters of those didn't phrase their response in the form of a question so they were disqualified.  

Let's just say we're starting to get a reputation around town, and I don't mean that in a bad way.  Quite the opposite.

After polishing off our cheese and libations, we watched the show.  It deserved every Tony.  Reading the program before the lights went down, I told Frau Schmitt, who, being German, is sometimes unfamiliar with The Great American Songbook, that we could look forward to two classic songs.  One was 'Comedy Tonight.'  The other was 'Everybody Ought to Have a Maid.'



It was a great rendition of Everybody Ought to Have a Maid.  I know all the words even though you'll never hear me whistling the tune as I putter around the house, myself.

During the last chorus, the woman sitting next to me elbowed me in the ribs.  It wasn't Frau Schmitt; it was the woman sitting on the other side of me, in seat 105.  "I bet this song makes you think of Tammie the Housekeeper, eh?" she whispered to me.

I was taken aback and I told her so.  "Tammie the Housekeeper is not our maid.  She's the housekeeper, from a long line of housekeepers.  It's an honorable profession and she's darned good at it, too," I said.

Tammie the Housekeeper

"I didn't mean any offense," the lady replied.

"None taken, then," I answered and we shook hands in the dark.  With that out of the way, everyone proceeded to enjoy the rest of the show. 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum is playing at Le Petit Théâtre until June 5.  If you're in town, we recommend you go see it.  

There was also a second line parade, a music festival on Bayou St. John, and a bicycle parade down Esplanade Avenue today.  That's just what happened within a mile of our house.  I can't speak for what was going on in the rest of the city.  When you live in New Orleans, you don't have to travel far to find some culture.  Culture is all around us, thick as a termite swarm in May.  It is thick as Maw-Maw's roux.  It is thick as the egg cream on top of a Ramos Gin Fizz.

Whether you are from Paris, France; New York, NY; West Terre Haute, IN; Wewoka, OK; Bumbleton, NH; Staffordshire, England; Milano, Italia; San Francisco, CA, or Ridgefield, CT, you'll find something that will suit your fancy in New Orleans, LA.  

Use your good intuition.  Stay at La Belle Esplanade.

À votre santé nous amis,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated New Orleans breakfast salon.

I Dreamed I was in New Orleans

Maiden form bra ad

I dreamed I was in New Orleans in my Maidenform bra.  And so, on that promising note, we begin... 

Much like the bartenders who sling drinks at Maison Bourbon, after people live in New Orleans long enough they tend to get a little tired of hearing 'When the Saints Go Marching In.'  Wherever you live, you probably don't here this song as often as New Orleanians do.  

I'm not saying it's a bad song.  It's a great song.  That's why everyone who comes to New Orleans wants to hear it.  It's just that, after awhile, some people, after day after day of listening to 'When the Saints Go Marching In,'  just throw up their hands and say, "Enough already!"  

And then again, there's the Louis Armstrong & Danny Kaye version.  It's hard to get tired of that version.


I, too, dig Rachmaninoff on and off.

She did drive them wild

What got me thinking about the old Maidenform ad campaign (which ran for 20 years) was that I was walking our dog in the French Quarter the other day, and I was looking up at the balconies while the dog was sniffing the ground, which is how our walks together usually tend to proceed.  Looking up at a balcony on St. Ann Street, what to my wandering eyes should appear but a shirtless man drinking coffee while wearing a bra. 

Maybe he dreamed he was a knockout.  I don't know.  I'm the type who likes to mind his own business, so I quickly looked in the other direction and tried to forget the whole thing.  Naturally, I haven't forgotten it.

Now that's a knockout

All this thinking about brassieres got me to thinking about Dagmar, which, I admit, is something I sometimes do more than I should.  I've provided a link to Dagmar's biography because I know you have no idea who I'm talking about.  

Besides being an early television star, Dagmar starred in a long-running Broadway show called Burlesque.  Her co-star was Burt Lahr, who you know better as the Cowardly Lion.  They were both very good in it, each complimenting the other's talents.

Which leads us to the subject of burlesque in New Orleans, something which I rarely discuss in this format or any other.  New Orleans has a long history of burlesque culture.  It's a culture that is still alive today.  So why don't I ever address this in our blog?  A:  Because it doesn't really interest me and you're captive to the caprices of your humble narrator.  Now, thanks to a guy sitting on a balcony while wearing a bra, I'm going to write a bit about burlesque in New Orleans.

This one's my favorite

Actually, I'm not.  Sorry, it's the old bait-and-switch again.  At least I'm not turning the conversation to travelers' constipation this time.

I'll give you a link to the "official" list of burlesque clubs in the city.  This is it.  Click this text.  I can't make it any clearer: HERE.  

Why am I punting this topic over to neworleansonline.com?  It's because just thinking about these places depresses me and saps out my will to write about any of them.  Given the choice, I would go to see Chris Owens.  And, truth be told, Frau Schmitt and I should go see Chris Owens.  She sponsors an Easter parade every year and Frau Schmitt and I met her once.  She is lovely, inside and out, and she is the embodiment of one facet of what makes New Orleans a great city.  

My second choice, The Swizzle Stick, isn't even listed, and I'm not even that keen on The Swizzle Stick.  It's just that if someone asks me where to see burlesque, the first thing that pops into my mind is The Swizzle Stick.  They occasionally have shows around about midnight.  At least they used to.

I can talk about the other places on the list.  We've been to them and so have our guests, but I'd rather not commit my opinions, or what our guests tell us, to print.  I'll tell you over breakfast if you're interested, though, to tell the truth, nobody has ever asked about New Orleans' burlesque culture.  I'm fine with that.  

Now, for those of you who were too lazy to click on the link to learn who Dagmar was.  Here's a picture:

Va-voom

I find it surprising that no burlesque performer goes by the name of "Dagmar Bumpers."  More probably, someone does and it's only that I don't know about it.  As I say, I'm not really hip to the burlesque "scene."  (See how I used those quotation marks?)  Unfortunately, I don't know anyone who is hip to the burlesque scene that I can ask.  Rest assured, Frau Schmitt and I are real hepcats, but we aren't big fans of fan-dancing or bump-and-grind acts. 

We can tell you about a lot of other things, though.  A lot of other things.

And so it goes

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.

Top Choice in the New Orleans Lonely Planet Guide

Une belle fille de l'Avenue d'Esplanade

I have some interesting good news to share.  Before I do that though, I'll tell you about how my writing today's entry came about.

First, I cracked my knuckles and I limbered up with a few rounds of calisthenics.  Then I sauntered over to the hi-fi and picked some appropriate music to accompany today's literary endeavors.  Here's what's spinning today: Leroy Anderson.




Pretty appropriate, eh?  Leroy Anderson was born in Massachusetts but after serving in WWII, he got wise and settled down with his wife in Woodbury, CT.  Besides being a very successful composer, he served on the boards of the Hartford and the New Haven Symphonies.  I've always thought his crowning achievement (outside his many, many compositions) was his stint as the manager of the Waterbury Symphony Orchestra.  Waterbury is one of my favorite cities in the whole world.

In case you don't know, and it has long ceased to surprise me that some people don't know this, the CT above stands for the great state of Connecticut.  Hartford is the state capital.  New Haven is the home of Yale University.  Waterbury is known as the Brass City.  I could go on and about Connecticut, my home state, but most people aren't as interested as I think they should be and I assume you aren't, either.

So, with the Typewriter Song playing in the background, I saw on the right hand side of the YouTube screen from which I cribbed the above clip a related clip that I thought will be of interest to the kind of folks who enjoy wasting their time reading our blog.  I'd like to thank you for stopping by today.

A lot of our guests, Europeans mostly, ask if many New Orleanians speak French anymore.  I'm sorry to disappoint them, but the answer is: No.  Nobody speaks French anymore.  Graves are inscribed in French, but nobody is sitting around the breakfast table saying, "Pouvez-vous passer le miel, s'il vous plaît?"  [Can you please pass the honey?]

This disappoints some people, especially people from France.  They've heard that New Orleans is the most francophone and francophile city in the United States.  That is true, of course, but, still, nobody speaks French.  

After digressing and noodling about, I ate half a shrimp po' boy left over from lunch and I decided it was finally time to share with you some news that I find very exciting.  Frau Schmitt finds it exciting too, and she is usually right about these things.  

I was on the Lonely Planet website last night and guess what inn is a TOP CHOICE in the next edition of the Lonely Planet Guide?  If I'm writing about it, you probably don't have to guess.  Here's the link to proof.

Some people will think we paid to get that little blue ribbon in the upper left corner of the screen.  Nope.  We had no idea.  We didn't ask for it.  A few months ago, I reported that a writer from Lonely Planet had contacted me and I gave her a tour of the inn.  We chatted for a long time.  She saw every room.  She saw the kitchen, which is usually off limits, and we had a long discussion about breakfast.  She told me that how we serve breakfast is becoming, more and more, the more desirable way to go about it for people seeking an authentic destination experience.

"An authentic destination experience."  See?  I can sling the industry lingo just like the pros do, when I want to.  

La Belle Esplanade, a boutique New Orleans B&B inn

Only four bed and breakfasts made the Top Choice in the guidebook's latest addition.  We are the top choice for Tremé and Mid-City, our part of New Orleans.  We find this very flattering because there is some stiff competition, especially Ashton's Bed and Breakfast, just one block away from our house.  When we are fully booked, I always tell people to check at Ashton's.  If we're full, they usually are, too, but it never hurts to look.

Also making the Top Choice list is our friend, Nancy, at Auld Sweet Olive Bed and Breakfast.  A tip of the fedora in Nancy's direction, which I always do anyway.

This is the second guide book in which we appear.  The other one, ironically enough considering what I just wrote above, is published in French.  We love French guests.  Frau Schmitt is taking French lessons and she can speak conversationally, which is the best way, with our French-speaking guests.  

Needless to say, but I will anyway, Frau Schmitt also speaks German like a native German-speaker with our German-speaking guests.  Her English is impeccable, too; she did earn her Master's Degree in the U.S., after all ....AND, she know a smattering of Spanish!

Me?  I play charades and draw pictures to get my point across.  Sometimes it works.

The giraffe's head in our lobby

Our schtick, if I may borrow a word with which Jerry Lewis would be well familiar, is that we tend to steer people away from places that are listed in the guidebooks.  Not all the time, mind you, but often enough that we're getting a reputation for that.  Now that we are showing up in guidebooks, what will people think?

If I worried about what people think, this blog would be very different, wouldn't it?  I would have spent today telling you about the seafood festival that's going on in City Park this weekend, or about Southern Decadence, a big gay pride festival that happens in the French Quarter every Labor Day weekend.  Instead, in the middle of August, which happens to be the month in which Leroy Anderson wrote this composition, I offer you this:


Christmas and New Year's Ever are coming!  Make your reservations early!  Remember we are a Top Choice place to stay in New Orleans.  You can do a lot worse.  Believe me.  I know.  I've been to your other options.  You can do a lot worse.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade.

Good, Good Times in New Orleans

Your humble narrator

Some people want to know what Frau Schmitt and your humble narrator look like before they check in.  We include pictures of ourselves on our website, but I was in the lobby snapping pics the other day and decided to take a picture of myself in the mirror.  You can't really read it well in the picture above, but the mirror says, "Saint or Sinner?"  It's a more probing question when you look in the mirror yourself, gentle reader, and answer it honestly.

We have bright green geckos scurrying around New Orleans during all the warm months.  They are cheerful little lizards.  We've had geckos this year, too, but not as many as I remember during last year.  Instead, this year seems to be The Year of the Skink.  There are tiny skinks scuttling around everywhere I look, not just around our gardens in the back, but in City Park and in the neutral ground, too.  It's The Year of the Skink.

We usually have ample on-street parking in front of our inn for people who choose to drive to New Orleans.  We had some guests this week though that needed a lot of room.  They had some very interesting tales about how they got here:



The song came first and it hit #1 in 1975 and 1976 on both the country and pop charts.  Then, a movie was written around it, to flesh out the details of the story.  For our younger readers, if you could have been alive in 1975, you would have heard this song every twenty minutes on the radio.  It was during the CB radio craze.  Truckers were blue collar heroes.  They are still heroes, of course, but they are unsung ones.  Few people own CB radios anymore, that's what our phones are for.

Our recent guests were recreating the highlights of this classic film.  We live in a quiet residential neighborhood so there isn't a lot of space to park a convoy of big rigs.  They made do, parking at a truckstop on Elysian Fields Avenue and then taking taxis to our house.  Nice folks, all, as one would expect.  Hearty appetites, too.  

Shadow of a lady

There was a shadow cast on our front shutter the other morning.  It wasn't a mysterious shadow.  Some people ask if our inn is haunted.  Our answer: No.  Not that we've ever been able to ascertain, at least.  We've had no reports.  It was a beautiful shadow, however, as most things about our house are.  It's source:

La Belle d'Esplanade

The light in August is beautiful, if I can quote William Faulkner, who used to live in the French Quarter.  Faulkner wrote his first novel while he lived in New Orleans.  This tidbit isn't germaine to what I'm going to tell you next, but I thought I would throw it into the mix.

The novel was called, "Soldier's Pay."

We love New Orleans in August because it's the slow season here.  The lines are shorter or nonexistent.  The price for most things goes down.  You can get a three course lunch for $20.15.  Not a bad deal.  You can enjoy the city like a New Orleanian without the distractions of festivals and conventions and cruise ships disgorging their passengers.  You can see what it is like to love the city on it's own terms, at its worst, when the temperature is in the mid-90s and the humidity is high enough that you'll never feel dry.  It's a paradise.

We love August also because this is the month during which we open the next year's calendar.  I just opened the calendar for next year today.  If you are thinking about visiting New Orleans next year, for Mardi Gras, for French Quarter Fest, for Jazz Fest, for Labor Day, for Voodoo Fest, or for Thanksgiving, this is the time to make a reservation.  Everything is wide open as I write this except for the reservation Alan just made for the last week in January.  He's going to get a firm and hearty handshake when next we meet.  Welcome back.

We're doing some renovations on one of our suites this month.  Les Saintes Suite will soon be Les Pêches Suite.  We're going with a fish theme in the future.  I haven't said anything so far and haven't posted any pictures because it isn't done yet.  There aren't any pictures to take.  Les Pêches will have a queen bed, though, as all the front suites will now have.  The front suites (Les Fleurs, Clio, and Les Pêches) are larger, they have queen beds, they have luxury sheets and soaps, and they have balconies that overlook picturesque Esplanade Avenue.  They cost a tad more than the smaller suites in the back of the house but we try to make them worth it.  We are not the least expensive lodging option, but we are not the most expensive either.  We offer plenty of lagniappe.

As of this writing, we have been ranked the #1 B&B on Trip Advisor for 16 months and counting.  As I've said before, we don't like to boast about it.  We try to avoid bad juju.  We just try to offer honest value and a memorable experience while you stay with us.  Our guests seem to agree that we are doing what we set out to do.  We would like to thank all of our guests who have written reviews, not only on Trip Advisor, but also on bedandbreakfast.com, and other travel sites.  We are happy to be ambassadors to everyone who is interested in this magical city we call home.

I promised a 70s flashback to another Top 10 hit a few posts ago.  Luckily, we haven't had any guests looking to relive this particular moment in history:

If you were alive in 1974, you would have heard this song every twenty minutes on the radio.  Good memories, my friends, good memories, but not as good as the memories made at La Belle Esplanade.  For better or for worse, neither Frau Schmitt nor I have ever seen a streaker on Esplanade Avenue.  We live on a picturesque street in a quiet neighborhood.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.