The Elysian Bar, New Orleans

The Elysian Bar in New Orleans has been open for about a year.  The Elysian Bar is part of the Peter and Paul Hotel.  The Peter and Paul Hotel is situated in the rectory, convent, school, and church building of the former Saints Peter and Paul Parish in the Marigny neighborhood of New Orleans, Louisiana.  The hotel has about 70 rooms.  It has been named one of the top hotels in the world by Travel + Leisure magazine.  If you want to hang out in a hotel bar, the Elysian Bar is a nice choice.  I've been there more than once.

The napkin at The Elysian Bar

I usually go to the Elysian Bar when it's slow.  Summer afternoons are a great time to visit the Elysian Bar.  The bar opens at 10:30AM and it closes at 12:00AM.  Apertivo Hour is from 3:00-6:00PM daily.  These times come from their website.  I haven't verified all of them personally. 

I don't mind talking to guests who are staying in large hotels.  I know that hotels of 70 rooms are not considered large---they are boutique.  I live in New Orleans.  

If I were visiting New Orleans, I don't think I'd go out of my way to meet people from Peoria that I'll never see again.  You can do that anywhere in the French Quarter or on Frenchmen Street or in any hotel bar.  When the first thing that someone asks you is, "So where are you folks from?" you know you are in tourist New Orleans, not in the part of the city where people live.  There is more to New Orleans than you will read in any guidebook. 

It is very nice inside The Elysian Bar.  The snug interior doesn't feel claustrophobic because of the interior architecture and design.  You'll find a lot of yellow.

The Elysian Bar.

The Elysian Bar is a cocktail bar.  Fine wines and fine cocktails.  There is a curated (small) selection of canned and bottled beer.  I'm sure you can order a rum and coke if you really want it, but it's not gonna be Capt. Morgan.  Most people at The Elysian Bar order a spritz drink or a cocktail with an arbitrary name they've never heard of.  It'll all be good.  They have a lot of ingredients.

They have celery bitters.

My favorite flavor of bitters, even better than Peychaud.

If I were staying at the Peter and Paul Hotel, I would go to The Elysian Bar more often.  As it is, I go when I'm in the neighborhood.  It's an experience.  The locks on the bathroom doors are like on airplanes.  When you slide the bolt inside the bathroom door, a wheel on the outside changes from vacant to occupied.  No one ever has to knock.

I will say that I think The Elysian Bar is in the best of its class.  Once you walk onto the premises you'll realize why there is no other bar like it, not only in New Orleans but in the world.  It is one of a kind.  The atmosphere is comfortable and cozy, classy.  The drinks are excellent.  Try it.  You'll like it.  When you've had enough of it, there is a whole wide wonderful city waiting for you.

This is not a paid endorsement.

A word from our blog's sponsor:  

A hotel with 70 rooms is a small hotel, especially in New Orleans.  There are 36,000 hotel rooms in the city of New Orleans, not counting the suburbs.  La Belle Esplanade is a microscopic in our market.  We only have five suites in a colorful mansion on a beautiful street.  Our hotel is tiny and artisanal, with hospitality on a craft level.  The best New Orleans memories are made when you make La Belle Esplanade the headquarters for your adventure.

Each of our five suites has a sitting room, a bed room, a private bath with clawfoot tub, and a private balcony.  You can't be afraid of color.  La Belle Esplanade is located close to the things tourists want to see in every direction but it is also in a real neighborhood where you can visit New Orleans like you belong here.  Make yourself at home in style.

Ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans since April 2014 by TripAdvisor, La Belle Esplanade has also been called #2 in the U.S., and #16 in the world, having won the Travelers' Choice Award twice, back-to-back.  Go to our website, see what we have to offer.  There is tourist New Orleans and there is real New Orleans.  You belong here.  

Enchanting New Orleans

New Orleans is beautiful during the day but I wouldn't say this is enchanting New Orleans.  During the day, the sun rains down and everything is bright with technicolor.  Living in New Orleans is like  being in a movie that always has a happy ending.  People are happy in New Orleans.  Why wouldn't they be?  They live in America's most interesting city.  Home is where the heart is.

Every house is inviting in enchanting New Orleans. 

New Orleans is enchanting at night.  A city of mysteries out in the open, after evening, New Orleans is where dreams are hatched and take flight.  A New Orleans night is a taste of paradise.  Keep your wits about you and follow your heart.  New Orleans is calling you.  Be wise.  Answer. 

New Orleans is peacefully enchanting when you're not on Bourbon Street.

I was walking around our neighborhood, Tremé, last night.  It was quiet as it always is.  While Tremé is right outside the French Quarter, the neighborhood is relatively untouched by tourists.  Families have inhabited Tremé for generations.  Tremé has it's own culture.  Some people say that Tremé, itself, is the birthplace of Jazz.  There is a case to be made for that.

Our neighborhood is enchanting at night.  New Orleans is enchanting everywhere but our part of Mid-City is where enchanting New Orleans really shines.  You'll see.  There is magic everywhere, behind every curtain.

A colorful city, even at night, New Orleans is enchanting.

There is enchantment around every corner in New Orleans.  Keep your eyes open.  Keep your heart open.  New Orleans loves you.

A link to our sponsor:

La Belle Esplanade

The Best Things In New Orleans Are Free.

The best things in New Orleans are free.  New Orleans is the greatest free show on earth, and not just during Mardi Gras season.  Every New Orleans day is a parade of sweet humanity in all its shapes and guises.  Get your good self down to New Orleans and you'll know what it means to fall in love with New Orleans.  Everything rhymes in Orleans parish.

Your humble narrator is a dreamy-eyed poet but he doesn't know it.

The best things in life are free.  The best things in New Orleans are free.  Life is what you make it.  Love cannot be bartered or sold in  installments.  Real love, true love, passion, is either all out or it is all in.  You can lust for New Orleans but it takes commitment and deep familiarity to truly fall deeply in love with this wonderful city we call home.  

In a New Orleans state of mind you'll still have to pay for a bed and roof over your head.  You'll still have to pay for meals.  Those are good things, true, but the best things in New Orleans are free.  The whole city of New Orleans is a factory of craftspeople who spend all their days and nights making the stuff of good memories.  The cure to a hard heart is to dream a New Orleans dream.

The sitting room in the Clio Suite at La Belle Esplanade.

The best things in New Orleans are free.  Who can put a price on a week that will make you smile for the rest of your life?  The first visit is only an appetizer.  The more time you spend in New Orleans, the more you'll find yourself wanting more.  New Orleans is that kind of a city.  You should see for yourself.  The best things in New Orleans are free-----the best things in New Orleans are everywhere here.  When you have open eyes and an open heart, New Orleans will treat you right.

Now a word from our sponsor:  

In a city full of pleasant surprises, you can't get caught up in FOMO.  Follow your instinct.  Use your better intuition when you are in New Orleans.  Stay at La Belle Esplanade a small artisanal hotel on one of the most beautiful streets in the city.  Centrally located to tourist destinations but in the real city, the most beautiful part.  Visit New Orleans like you live here.  It'll be better than getting pass-out drunk on Bourbon Street.

When New Orleans calls, you have to answer.

La Belle Esplanade only has five luxury suites so we tend to fill up early.  Book today and make sure you can explore this wonderful city we call home like you belong here.  You do belong here.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade

Happiness is New Orleans

You never know what you'll see around any corner in New Orleans.

Since I've moved to New Orleans, I don't find many reasons to travel outside the city's limits.  When you live in New Orleans the sky is the limit, of course, but that's only when you're looking up.  When you live in New Orleans there are very few reasons to visit other cities?  Why?  When you live in New Orleans and you visit another city, maybe on vacation or business, after two days you want to be home again.  That's how I feel.  I hate to travel.  In a New Orleans state of mind, why leave New Orleans unless there is a wedding or a funeral? 

An inviting way to start the day on Ursulines Avenue, New Orleans.

It's been a long time since I last said that I would walk a mile for a Camel cigarette but I wouldn't mind riding my bicycle three miles up St. Bernard Avenue, headed lakeside, to see a statue of a camel in somebody's from yard---right where you'd least expect it.

He is a handsome camel:

Lakeview royalty, New Orleans-style.

I've been riding my bicycle around the great city of New Orleans every morning for the past couple of weeks.  It is flat here and the city is compact.  New Orleans is a real city.  Is is densely full of details, both historic and evolving.  I have lived in New Orleans nine years.  Not a day goes by when I am not astounded.  Happiness is New Orleans.

If you've never been to New Orleans, you should come down for a visit.  

Longer is always better.  No one ever says their visit is too long.  It is always too short.  The longer you are here, the more you'll realize how much more there is to discover and appreciate.  There are treats around every corner.  New Orleans is Candyland with a long francophile pedigree.  

Now a word from our sponsor:  

In a city full of pleasant surprises, you can't get caught up in FOMO.  Follow your instinct.  Use your better intuition when you are in New Orleans.  Stay at La Belle Esplanade a small artisanal hotel on one of the most beautiful streets in the city.  Centrally located to tourist New Orleans and in the rest of New Orleans, where this enchanted city's culture is born, nurtured, and set free.

If your spirit bucket has a hole in it, you better plug that hole with good New Orleans memories.  Put visiting New Orleans on your list of things to do before you die.  When you want to explore and enjoy the authentic New Orleans, stay at La Belle Esplanade.  We live in a city full of happy surprises.

We only have five luxury suites so we tend to fill up early.  Book today and make sure you can explore this wonderful city we call home like you belong here.  You do belong here.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade

Pick Yourself Up In New Orleans

New Orleans is a hard habit to kick.  Once you've got New Orleans under your skin, you've got to come back to scratch an itch that can't be satisfied anywhere else.  Some people have New Orleans in their blood.  Some people live in a New Orleans state of mind.  They are all lucky people.  I know.  I'm one of them---aaaaand---I live in New Orleans, too.

Your humble narrator.

Ink-a-dink-a-doo.  Fiddle-dee-dee.  

The stars are reflected in the wakes of the barges that head up and down the Mississippi River in front of the French Quarter.  Fortune tellers crowd Jackson Square in front of St. Louis Cathedral----even at 3:00AM.  When the sun rises, New Orleans is all aglow; the white herons are tinted pink as the clouds before anyone but beignet cooks are awake.  New Orleans is a city of details.  New Orleans is a city of light.  

When I want to be happy I close my eyes and I think of New Orleans.  Then, I open my eyes and I am already here.  You belong in New Orleans, too, if only for a week.  One week in New Orleans is better than one month anywhere else.

New Orleans is a tonic.  It's a spritzer.  It's a pick-me-up.   

In a New Orleans state of mind, there are no strangers; there are only friends you haven't yet met.  In a New Orleans state of mind, three 25-cent martinis are enough for one person over the course of a three-course lunch.  In a New Orleans state of mind, beads sparkle dangling off the branches of every tree, so pretty.  In a New Orleans state of mind, sno-balls are something you eat, not that you throw.  In a real New Orleans state of mind, you'll feel like you belong here.  Why?  Because you do belong here.

New Orleans is calling you.

Kitty-Kat knows you belong here.

A Word From Our Sponsor:

If you want to visit New Orleans like you belong here----and you do belong here...  If you want to discover what it means to fall in love with the real New Orleans----I know where you should stay.

Nobody ever says their visit is too long.  Stay for as long as you can.  Nobody ever is bored in New Orleans.  If you are a sinner drawn to New Orleans' reputation or if you are a saint looking for a place to call home, we hope you consider staying at the #1 small hotel in the city: La Belle Esplanade.  We look forward to meeting you and sharing our part of the city with you.

You'll Never Guess What I Saw in New Orleans.

I'm often surprised that more children's books aren't set in New Orleans.  You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  It was a pleasant surprise, as most things that I see in New Orleans are.  In New Orleans, even more than in Chicago, it's your kind of razzmatazz and it has all that jazz.

New Orleans is a city full of magical vistas.

Life and death.  Pleasure and pain.  Angels and devils.  Samaritans and Philistines.  Gain and loss.  Providence and misfortune.  Laughter and tears.  A rollercoaster.  Orange and blue.  Sunny and rainy.  Day and night, and day again---and night, again.  

Shall I list all the streets where you can find pleasant surprises in New Orleans?  Not here.  We don't have the space.  There are books written about New Orleans street names.  You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  You won't find it any book unless Frau Schmitt chooses to publish my posthumous memoirs.  Frau Schmitt is the better half of this operation.  I doubt she would inflict my memoirs on the world.  Tulane University Press, though, that's another story.

Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.

Life is a parade.  More so in New Orleans.  Life goes on.  It goes on, and on, and on, and on, & on, & on, & on....  One blessing follows the one before it.  Guess what's going to happen tomorrow?  If you said more blessings, you're right.

Spend a week in New Orleans.  Let New Orleans get under your skin, deep in the heart of you.  Let it get so deep that New Orleans will become a part of you.  Then, you'll be changed for the better.  Outside the Garden of Eden, there is no place so nice on God's green Earth as New Orleans.  Many people leave their heart here; then they come back to find it.  New Orleans never disappoints.

You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  We live in a kaleidoscope of a city.

New Orleans is calling you.  You know where you should stay, dontcha?  La Belle Esplanade, the #1 place to stay in New Orleans (according to TripAdvisor) since April 2014, and the #2 small hotel in the United States and the #1 small hotel in the world (as I never get tired of repeating).

You should read the blog on our official website, too.  Here, you are getting a different version.  La Belle Esplanade gone acoustic and uncensored.  On either site you can spend a lot of time trawling through the archives to discover New Orleans secrets and get yourself into a proper New Orleans state of mind.

Speaking of the New Orleans state of mind.  Follow La Belle Esplanade on Facebook.  We post items 2, 3, 5 times a day to share what it is like to live in this wonderful city we call home.  No pictures of Bourbon Street and rarely pictures of the French Quarter.  La Belle Esplanade is located in authentic New Orleans, the part of the city where people live out their lives and make good memories.  You can make good memories here, too.  You should.

Get off the tourist radar and stay at La Belle Esplanade, a small craft hotel on the second-most beautiful street in the city.  Our address is in a very interesting neighborhood full of small museums, nationally famous restaurants, off-the-beaten-path diversions, and all the things that will help you know what it means to love New Orleans.

We're here for you,
La Belle Esplanade
Wednesday, June 26, 2019.

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

We are just simple micro-hoteliers here at La Belle Esplanade.  I know more than one person just spit coffee out their nose when they read that sentence.  To be honest, Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation, is the nicest person you will ever meet, and I, your humble narrator, am a raconteur extraordinaire (I didn't give myself that moniker), a dandy, and a man-about-New Orleans. La Belle Esplanade, the small artisanal hotel we run, is ranked highly on TripAdvisor, and we know it is unlike any other hotel, but we don't like feeling too big for our britches.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  La Belle Esplanade is no Hilton.  

That's a good thing, too:

La Belle is the orange house in the middle.

I don't like to boast or to brag, and, even though I usually post our TripAdvisor award badges at the end of each post, I don't think too much of them.  Not that I dislike them, mind you.  Frau Schmitt and I are humbled that La Belle has been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans since April 2014.  And, we are even more humbled to be counted among the 0.0001% of hotels awarded the Travelers' Choice Award every year.  For those of you who don't know, this award is bestowed on the top 25 places to stay in each country and then the top 25 in the whole world.  We've been named the #2 place to stay in the United States and the #16 place to stay in the world.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

That said, the wall next to our breakfast buffet table is starting to look a little TripAdvisor heavy.  We don't really need all these framed certificates to go all the way to the ceiling.  We have twelve-and-a-half foot ceilings in the house:

Sure, there's still empty space but when is enough enough?

We just got two more certificates in the mail today: our 2019 Certificate of Excellence and our 2019 induction into the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.

I haven't framed them yet.  They're just laid out on a table.

Again, I'm not complaining but I don't think anyone outside the hotel industry, knows what it means to be in the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.  While La Belle Esplanade is flattered and humbled to be inducted, once again, does Joe or Jane Doe care?  They will when they get here and experience what we offer as a small artisanal hotel but before they see the certificates on our wall and ask about them, will they know what the Hall of Fame even is?

It means we've been awarded a certificate of excellence five years in a row.  A certificate of excellence is not a Travelers' Choice Award.  One is a chicken egg, the other is caviar.  Both are good but one is commonplace while the other is sublime.  We're aiming for five Travelers' Choice awards in a row.  Three to go.  

Our TripAdvisor ranking is all based on reviews from people who have stayed at La Belle Esplanade.  Frau Schmitt and I have no control over our ranking.  It is all driven by how our guests have experienced their stay at our small craft hotel.  You know how the best beer comes from a small craft brewery?  It's the same way with hospitality at a small craft hotel.  The best New Orleans memories are made on our street.  Visit like you belong in this wonderful city we call home.

Let your imagination be your guide.

As of this moment, we've received 646 reviews on TripAdvisor.  634 of them rate our inn Excellent.  12 rate our inn Very Good.  Nobody has said their stay is Average, Poor, or Terrible.  Why would they?  La Belle Esplanade is like the Ritz, if the Ritz were in a colorful old mansion and run by only two people.  Only a churl could not be delighted by a gourmet curated breakfast accompanied by good conversation about all things New Orleans.

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  We try to deliver better value than what our prices lead you to expect.  Why?  Because in New Orleans there is the theory of lagniappe.  Lagniappe is a Creole word that means something extra.  At La Belle Esplanade you will always get something extra, be it personally tailored recommendations, candies on your bed, a selection of locally brewed beer and soda, or, most importantly, a chance to be inducted into the authentic New Orleans state of mind.

There is touristy New Orleans.  You don't need me to tell you about it.  You'll find it.  Your friends who have already visited for bachelor parties or professional conventions or destination weddings or cruise ship stops have already told you about that part of New Orleans.  Then, there is real New Orleans, the authentic city where people live, laugh, and love as they go about their lives raising families and building legacies.  Ours is a city with a culture that is densely woven and richly textured.  You never know what pleasant surprise you'll find when you turn a corner.  New Orleans is not just sugary alcoholic drinks, dueling piano bars, and novelty tee shirt shops.

Walk your boots to La Belle Esplanade.  This is real New Orleans.

When you are ready for real New Orleans off the usual tourist treadmill, you know where to find us.  We are the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue.  New Orleans is called "America's Most Interesting City" for very good reason.

Check out our website: LaBelleEsplanade.com.  Read our blog there.  There are three years (at least) of archives.  If you think we'll be a good fit for your New Orleans expectations, make a reservation.  The "Check Availability" button is in the upper right of every screen.  Plug in your dates to see what suites we have available.  We only have five suites so we tend to fill up early during the busy seasons.

You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue,
-La Belle Esplanade   

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

New Orleans Is a Full City

I could be wrong, or I may be right about everything I say about happy-go-lucky New Orleans.  New Orleans is a multi-faceted city, a fun-house of a city, mirror-faced and self-reflective.  Look in the right end of the telescope/microscope to make sure what you're seeing in New Orleans is right-sized.  New Orleans is an, open-minded, well-respected, up-to-date, devil-may-care merry-go-round of a city.  New Orleans is a fully hyphenated city.  Come see for yourself.

Your humble narrator: an amateur lexicographer

New Orleans puts the 'nous' in 'Nouveau.'

It's not polite to say this but people often do: New Orleans puts the 'fun' in 'Funeral.'

Joie de vivre and je n'est c'est quoi are the orders of the day in New Orleans.  If you think you know where you are going to be in the next hour in New Orleans, you're wrong.  Every day is an ongoing parade.  Let the good times roll.

Someone is shooting off Roman candles a block uptown from here.  The sky is full of parti-colored sparks.  It's another New Orleans evening.  It is somebody's birthday.

When you are in New Orleans, you are in the free world.  

Take a ride on Esplanade Avenue

When was the last time you met someone who won 2nd prize in a beauty contest?  When was the last time your bank paid you a dividend to $50.00?  Advance to Esplanade Avenue.  

Frau Schmitt is the better half of this operation.  She agrees with me, your humble narrator, that we are very fortunate to live on the downtown side of New Orleans.  We have grown to fall deeply in love with this side of Canal Street.  Though they share many similarities, the two halves of New Orleans are very, very different.  

I was talking to Kettle-Head on Monday and he told me how he had discovered a dead dog that had been hidden under a parked car on Dauphine Street in the French Quarter.

Kettle-Head told me, "The car pulled away and there, in its spot, was a dead dog lying flat.  It had rained that morning so the street was wet, except for where that dog was laying.  The dog was in a dry spot as big as the car.  The dog had been dead for so long that it had rigor mortis." 

In other news, I say a puppet show on Tuesday.  

Some of the neighborhood gang has written a puppet play and they are rehearsing right now in their front yards.  First the stage will be on North Miro Street, then it will move to St. Philip Street for a few days, then to North Rocheblave Street, and so on, and so on until the script will be perfected.  It's all great fun.  I can't way to see the finished product.  It should be done before schools starts in August.

So far, the play has something to do with a dragon and an alligator and a bunny.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I walked Li'l Tater home.  His mother had lost track of him while she was gardening so I saw him two lots down where he was picking marigolds out of Mrs. Estelle's garden. I stopped him, took Li'l Tater's hand, and toddled him back to his own front porch where his mother was looking for him.  Naughty Tater.  He's a curious tyke.

You never know what you'll find in New Orleans

Today, I saw a voodoo sign painted on an oak tree's trunk.

This week isn't even over yet!

À votre santé,
-La Belle Esplanade
Thursday, June 20, 2019

There is a physical New Orleans and then there is a New Orleans of the heart.  Keep your eyes open in this wonderful city we call home and you’ll learn what it means to fall in love with New Orleans.  We’re here for you.  You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue.    Follow our other blog, or, follow us on Facebook, subscribe to our newsletter at the bottom of this page.  Keep yourself in a New Orleans state of mind.  There is regular happy, and then there is New Orleans happy.  When you’re ready to visit, you know where to find us: we’re in the bright orange house with blue shutters.  Good memories are made on our street.

We only have five suites.  Ours is a small artisanal operation.  You know how you get the best beer from a craft brewery.  Well, you get the best hospitality from a craft hotel.  We know what we’re doing.  Let us share the real New Orleans with you, not the off-the-rack version.  Plug your dates into our calendar and see what we have available.  Plan ahead.  With only five suites we tend to fill up early.

Stay as long as you can.  No one ever says their visit to New Orleans is too long.  They always say it is too short.  The longer you are here, the more you’ll realize how much more there is to discover and explore.  There are good surprises around every corner.  New Orleans blooms with happiness.

If you have any questions, feel free to email us, that’s what we’re here for.  We look forward to meeting you in person.

Ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans since April 2014 for very good reasons:

Lake Pontchartrain monsters

Lake Pontchartrain is the body of water directly north of the City of New Orleans.  New Orleans is on the South Shore.  Directly south, by the compass is the Mississippi River.  New Orleans is on the East Bank of the Mississippi.  It gets complicated, the way most things are in New Orleans.  We live in a different world.

Lake Ponchartrain isn't a true lake.  It isn't self contained and it isn't fresh water.  Lake Pontchartrain is brackish because it opens to Lake Borgne, which is even less of a true lake, which is connected to the Gulf of Mexico.  Atlantic Ocean water enters the Gulf and it enters Lake Pontchartrain through the Rigolets.  I'd draw you a map but that would make about as much sense as this description or the picture above.  Just take my word for it.

Lake Pontchartrain averages about 12 feet deep.  It's shallow.  Blue crabs come from there.  They are the tastiest blue crabs you'll ever taste.  They turn red when they're boiled.

Manatees live in Lake Pontrchartain.  So do various varieties of fish that prefer brackish waters, a combination of salty and sweet.  Dolphins sometimes venture into Lake Pontchartrain.  A narwhal was once found in Lake Pontchartrain in the 19th century.  One of its ribs is on display in our lobby.

What about cryptids?  Is there a Poncho, the way there is a Nessie or a Champ?  Nope.  No sea serpents, aquatic dinosaurs, giant squid, or other unexplained creatures have been sighted in Lake Pontchartrain, unless you count the time Tammie the Housekeeper's Aunt Millie was found by a US Coast Guard patrol in the middle of the lake stark naked and singing "Sugar, Sugar," at the top of her lungs. 

Tammy the Housekeeper

You never know what you'll find in New Orleans but you can be sure that there aren't any unexplained creatures in Lake Pontchartrain.  New Orleans has enough mythology about it that the city doesn't need to add sea serpents to the list.  You can find vampires in the French Quarter, mermen in the Industrial Canal, fairy washer women off Florida Avenue, and all sorts of other things within city limits.  We don't have any need to make up things that lurk offshore.

New Orleans is full enough of surprises as is.  

LIFE IS GOOD IN NEW ORLEANS.

--- If you are looking for someplace to stay when you visit New Orleans, I happen to be an innkeeper.  I run the #1-ranked place to stay in New Orleans (it's been #1 since April 2014 according to TripAdvisor).  You could do a lot worse.  Believe me.  You can choose a lot worse.  If you are looking to experience authentic New Orleans off the usual tourist radar, you know where to find us: in the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue: La Belle Esplanade.

No Name Business

A photo from our new website

When's our new website going to be ready?  I'm told next week.  So much for 30 days.  I've done my part.

I've been putting off writing a new entry for our illustrious blog because it's going to be moved to a new address.  It's going to be directly on our website, which has its advantages for SEO reasons.  [See here for my opinion of SEO.]

We're going to be switching to a Wordpress template.  I'm told I'm going to love it.  So far I'm less than thrilled because I'm itching to get started.  I don't know what's taking so long.  

So, instead of writing today's installment on Wordpress, I'm lounging around the New Orleans Odditarium sipping on A Fifth of Beethoven":



Who doesn't love Walter Murphy?  Here's a fun fact: just like Walter Murphy, your humble narrator's father worked briefly for Korvette's before moving to greener pastures.  

Today's installment is merely filler, a website update, not that anyone particularly cares about our software provider woes.  

Frau Schmitt and I have had all sorts of adventures willy-nilly all over New Orleans.  I'd love to share them with you but they'll have to wait.  I know the anticipation is killing you, just like that Heinz Ketchup commercial.  ---If you don't know what I'm talking about with that allusion, ask me about it over breakfast.  

In the meantime, I've got a meeting scheduled with the New Orleans No Name Club.  The club is interested in using our back gardens as a meeting place in the summer.  In the winter, they'd like permission to use the lobby.  We're going to negotiate terms this afternoon in the Pipkin Room at the Rib Room.  If that sentence doesn't make any sense to you, well, you've never been to the secret dining areas hidden in the Rib Room.  

Well, those links should keep you occupied for awhile.  Don't say I didn't give you much today.  I let other pages do the heavy lifting for me, instead.  After all, I'm off on important business---No Name business!

Frau Schmitt and I are waving to you in this picture

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Using Trip Advisor in New Orleans

Mister Apple

If you're like me when you have something heavy weighing on your mind, and you spend a couple of sleepless nights turning it over and over in your head, and you finally decide you can't think about it anymore, you'll head down to the French Quarter to the apple store.  

This isn't the kind of Apple Store you're thinking of, the company with the stock ticker AAPL.  The apple store I'm talking about in the French Quarter is Mister Apple, a beloved icon in our community, the way Mister Softee may be in yours.

Mister Softee

When I have a problem I just can't seem to lick, I mull it over with a nice plump and juicy candied apple in my mitt.

The Mister Apple store in the French Quarter is at 201 North Peters Street.  If you happen to find yourself wrestling with a mental dilemma Uptown, they've recently opened another location, this one at 4505 Magazine Street.  Thanks Mister Apple.

*****

This far into today's installment, you may be wondering what had me in such a dither.  Okay, I'll tell you.  I was wondering where I should stay if I were visiting New Orleans.

This is an academic question, purely speculative and theoretical, most hypothetical, to say the least.  After all, I live in New Orleans.  I stay in the 2200 block of Esplanade Avenue.  In fact, that is where I spend much of my time.

La Belle Esplanade

But, if, like most of you, gentle readers, I was planning a vacation in New Orleans, how would I decide where to lay my weary head after a day's excitement living the good life the Big Easy way?  

If I were planning a New Orleans vacation, I would want to stay in a place that is close to all the tourist attractions I might want to see, but far enough away that I could get a good night's sleep.  I don't like a lot of hustle and bustle, especially when all that hustle and bustle is generated by a crowd of drunks nursing neon green frozen drinks in souvenir cups shaped like a hand grenade and they are stumbling outside my room at all hours when I'm trying to sleep, shouting at each other, getting into fistfights, and urinating or vomiting, or both, on the side of the building in which I'm trying to sleep.

Mister Hand Grenade

That is a real New Orleans French Quarter experience, but it isn't one that I particularly enjoy.  I have stayed overnight in the French Quarter.  It was interesting, but it isn't something that I choose to repeat.  After a couple nights of that, I was ready to go home.  To each his or her own, of course.

I would also like to be in a neighborhood that offers a lot of big city local amenities that are a bit off the usual tourist radar.  I would also like to have someone around who would tell me about the neighborhood rather than just point me in the direction of a brochure rack, the way the hotel concierge sometimes will.

If I were planning a vacation, I would look at my options on Trip Advisor.  I don't have a cozy relationship with Trip Advisor.  We're on speaking terms but nothing more.  Our inn doesn't pay them any money to be listed or ranked on their site. I'm familiar with how the site operates and I think their policies are on the up-and-up.  All of my experiences with Trip Advisor (stock ticker: TRIP) have been positive.  When Frau Schmitt and I travel, which isn't too often, we use Trip Advisor to decide where to stay. 

I don't know how big or pervasive Trip Advisor is as a company.  I've only recently become aware that the company advertises on television.  Frau Schmitt and I don't watch a lot of television---we're too busy to travel and we're too busy to watch TV--- but I was sitting in the bar at the New Orleans Athletic Club after a strenuous workout and I saw a Trip Advisor ad being broadcast.  Yes, our gym has a bar in it.  That's the way things are in New Orleans.




My curiosity piqued, I looked up hotels in New Orleans on Trip Advisor.  This next bit may be a little tedious reading for some, but I think it is important to note.  Since I'm in the industry, I find it interesting.

The number one hotel as of this writing is the Grenoble House, in the French Quarter, with 371 reviews.  Overall, the hotel scores 4.5 stars.  Of those, 287 are excellent, 63 are good, 16 are average, 4 are poor and 1 is terrible.  The Grenoble House has the least reviews of any of the hotels in the top 30.  Most of hotels in New Orleans have one or two thousand, though this varies, naturally.

The number two hotel is Hotel Mazarin, also in the French Quarter.  The Mazarin has 2810 reviews, again 4.5 stars overall.  Of these reviews, 1966 are excellent.  Not bad.  There are also 641 that are scored good, 115 average, 67 poor and 21 terrible.

We can go down the list but I don't want to bore you with all these numbers.  If you look at the percentages, these are very respectable---for a hotel.  I'm not going to do the math to tell you what percentage of reviews are excellent vs. good, etc.  I will just put forth a general observation: when a hotel has X excellent reviews, the number of good reviews will be a tad more than a quarter of the excellent total and so on down the line.  

There is nothing wrong with being good.  It's much, much better than being terrible.

The 121st hotel in the rankings for New Orleans (which I will not name) has 37 excellent reviews, 54 good, 25 average, 9 poor and 10 
terrible.  

Licensed B&Bs on Trip Advisor are somewhat different.  If you look at the number one ranked small boutique inn in New Orleans (and in all of Louisiana), you'll find it has a total of 348 reviews as of this writing.  That's a little less than the Grenoble House.  Of these 338 (97.1%) are excellent and 10 (2.9%) are good.  There are no average, poor, or terrible reviews.

The other top 10 inns listed under B&Bs on Trip Advisor score, on average, about 94% excellent reviews, 5% good, and a smattering of other classifications.  Most of the boutique operations in New Orleans score 5 stars in overall satisfaction versus 4.5 stars for hotels.  When all the scores are tallied, no hotel ever earns more than 4.5 stars.  None that I've seen, at least.

Do you want to stay somewhere where guests' opinions boil down to their memories being somewhere between good and excellent, or do you want to stay somewhere where the guests repeatedly report their visit as generating an excellent experience.  The choice is entirely up to you.

What do all these statistics mean?  Maybe nothing in the end.  A boutique experience in a real neighborhood isn't what everyone wants out of their vacation.  Some people just want to go to Bourbon Street and get pie-eyed drinking Jesters.  I have no quibble with that.  La Belle Esplanade, or any of the other B&Bs which rate higher in guest satisfaction than the big hotels, may not be the place for that particular visitor.  He or she may only need a pass-out bed.  In that case, the #121 hotel in New Orleans is money well spent.

I've never even tasted a Jester.  Frau Schmitt tells me to steer clear of sweet drinks that are mostly grain alcohol.  I listen to her because she is usually right about these things.  One of our guests did gift us with a souvenir Jester cup, though.  It's in a place of honor on a shelf in our lobby.




La Belle Esplanade is the place for me.  It had better be.  I run the place alongside Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation.  We spend a lot of time here and we invest a lot of effort and capital to make it a place worth staying in.  Ours is an inn to remember in the best way.

If you are thinking about visiting New Orleans and you aren't sure where to stay, think about checking out what the reviews on Trip Advisor have to say.  Being ranked #1 is a matter of algorithms that reflect guest satisfaction.  Read the reviews.  Don't just look at the stars, or bubbles, as Trip Advisor likes to call them.  You can learn a lot from reading what guests have written and what the innkeepers write in response.  If what you read sounds good to you, go to that inn's website and make a reservation.

I do my best thinking while noshing on a candied apple.  You might do your best thinking while reading reviews on Trip Advisor.  Be warned though: much like this blog, you can waste a lot of time there reading the archived material.

Don't overthink your vacation.  Use your good intuition when you decide to visit New Orleans.  You can make a lot of worse choices than deciding to stay at La Belle Esplanade.  Better memories are made on our street.  No one ever says their stay was too long.  It is always too short.  There is a lot to experience in our part of the city.  You'll never see everything, but that gives you a reason to come back for more.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.