The Elysian Bar, New Orleans

The Elysian Bar in New Orleans has been open for about a year.  The Elysian Bar is part of the Peter and Paul Hotel.  The Peter and Paul Hotel is situated in the rectory, convent, school, and church building of the former Saints Peter and Paul Parish in the Marigny neighborhood of New Orleans, Louisiana.  The hotel has about 70 rooms.  It has been named one of the top hotels in the world by Travel + Leisure magazine.  If you want to hang out in a hotel bar, the Elysian Bar is a nice choice.  I've been there more than once.

The napkin at The Elysian Bar

I usually go to the Elysian Bar when it's slow.  Summer afternoons are a great time to visit the Elysian Bar.  The bar opens at 10:30AM and it closes at 12:00AM.  Apertivo Hour is from 3:00-6:00PM daily.  These times come from their website.  I haven't verified all of them personally. 

I don't mind talking to guests who are staying in large hotels.  I know that hotels of 70 rooms are not considered large---they are boutique.  I live in New Orleans.  

If I were visiting New Orleans, I don't think I'd go out of my way to meet people from Peoria that I'll never see again.  You can do that anywhere in the French Quarter or on Frenchmen Street or in any hotel bar.  When the first thing that someone asks you is, "So where are you folks from?" you know you are in tourist New Orleans, not in the part of the city where people live.  There is more to New Orleans than you will read in any guidebook. 

It is very nice inside The Elysian Bar.  The snug interior doesn't feel claustrophobic because of the interior architecture and design.  You'll find a lot of yellow.

The Elysian Bar.

The Elysian Bar is a cocktail bar.  Fine wines and fine cocktails.  There is a curated (small) selection of canned and bottled beer.  I'm sure you can order a rum and coke if you really want it, but it's not gonna be Capt. Morgan.  Most people at The Elysian Bar order a spritz drink or a cocktail with an arbitrary name they've never heard of.  It'll all be good.  They have a lot of ingredients.

They have celery bitters.

My favorite flavor of bitters, even better than Peychaud.

If I were staying at the Peter and Paul Hotel, I would go to The Elysian Bar more often.  As it is, I go when I'm in the neighborhood.  It's an experience.  The locks on the bathroom doors are like on airplanes.  When you slide the bolt inside the bathroom door, a wheel on the outside changes from vacant to occupied.  No one ever has to knock.

I will say that I think The Elysian Bar is in the best of its class.  Once you walk onto the premises you'll realize why there is no other bar like it, not only in New Orleans but in the world.  It is one of a kind.  The atmosphere is comfortable and cozy, classy.  The drinks are excellent.  Try it.  You'll like it.  When you've had enough of it, there is a whole wide wonderful city waiting for you.

This is not a paid endorsement.

A word from our blog's sponsor:  

A hotel with 70 rooms is a small hotel, especially in New Orleans.  There are 36,000 hotel rooms in the city of New Orleans, not counting the suburbs.  La Belle Esplanade is a microscopic in our market.  We only have five suites in a colorful mansion on a beautiful street.  Our hotel is tiny and artisanal, with hospitality on a craft level.  The best New Orleans memories are made when you make La Belle Esplanade the headquarters for your adventure.

Each of our five suites has a sitting room, a bed room, a private bath with clawfoot tub, and a private balcony.  You can't be afraid of color.  La Belle Esplanade is located close to the things tourists want to see in every direction but it is also in a real neighborhood where you can visit New Orleans like you belong here.  Make yourself at home in style.

Ranked the #1 inn in New Orleans since April 2014 by TripAdvisor, La Belle Esplanade has also been called #2 in the U.S., and #16 in the world, having won the Travelers' Choice Award twice, back-to-back.  Go to our website, see what we have to offer.  There is tourist New Orleans and there is real New Orleans.  You belong here.  

New Orleans is Delicious

Where does the time go?  It goes down the memory hole.  In New Orleans we don't forget our days.  We don't forget our good times.  Good memories are made in New Orleans.  They are the kind of good memories that will last us the rest of our lives.  Mmmm-mmmm good.  Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.  New Orleans is delicious.

When I lie on my deathbed, I'll think back to any random New Orleans day and I'll be smiling.  I will slip into the sleep of the eternally contented.  A week in New Orleans will give you a taste of Heaven.  New Orleans is delicious.

There are very few places on this wonderful round earth so nice as New Orleans.  New Orleans is a slice of Heaven more tasty and savory than a slice of anchovy pizza.  Happy are those who have spent time in New Orleans.  The luckiest people of all live here.  Ask them.  They wouldn't trade a day in New Orleans for all the pizza in Italy.

In a New Orleans state of mind, even the angels dream of living in New Orleans.

New Orleans loves you.  Accept its sweet embrace.  New Orleans is delicious.

New Orleans loves you.  You'll know it as soon as you set foot on its bumpy and shady streets.  There is only one New Orleans.  We smoothly sail from day to day, catching the breeze while we shoot the breeze amongst friends.

Look in the mirror.  You are unique.  New Orleans loves you for who you are.  

I didn't lose my heart in San Francisco.  I found my heart in New Orleans.  Home is where your heart is.  Once you get New Orleans, New Orleans has got you hooked.  Make yourself at home.  You belong here.

Take your chances.  Make your mark.  Be yourself.  You belong in New Orleans.  Game on!

There are no illusions in New Orleans.  This is reality.

Be ready to reach the stars.  Be ready to be your best self.  Be ready to swallow your soul and eat to your satisfaction.  Be ready to be ready for anything that may happen next.  What's gonna happen? Something startling and enlightening and magical and transcendent.  Be ready to live your best future.  Catch a wish and carry it with you forever.

When you are in New Orleans, nothing is like things are where you live.  In New Orleans, there is magic in the air.  Open your nose.  Open your eyes.  Open your ears.  Touch the flowers that grow along the sidewalks.  Touch a fork---it is an extension of your hand.  Kiss a spoon full of gumbo.  Kiss a lover.  Love makes New Orleans hum.  New Orleans is an eternal thrill.

Have you ever had a dream that you can't forget?  If you haven't, you should get your good self to New Orleans.  After six or seven days in New Orleans, you'll know what I mean.  You'll be hooked.  New Orleans is delicious.

I'm not saying that New Orleans will spoil you from enjoying other cities, but, man oh man, once you get New Orleans in your heart, well, I guess I really am saying that New Orleans will spoil you from enjoying other cities.  New Orleans is delicious.  There is only one New Orleans.  There is only one.  If there were more, the world would be overcome with a frenzy of joy.  No one would be clinically depressed.

Some people suffer heart attacks.  In New Orleans, people suffer love attacks.  There are worse ways to live.  Ask anyone who calls New Orleans home.

---And now a word from our sponsor:

La Belle Esplanade is a small craft hotel located on a beautiful street in a very interesting part of New Orleans.  We only have five suites but that is what makes our small hotel special.  Not everyone can stay at La Belle Esplanade, only the five people or couples who make a reservation to stay here on any given day.  Lucky people.

La Belle is the orange house in the middle.

When you are ready to get off the typical tourist grid and immerse yourself into the densely woven and richly textured culture of this wonderful city we call home, we hope you'll make your New Orleans headquarters at La Belle Esplanade.  We only have five boutique suites so we tend to fill up early.  Go to our website, read more about we offer, and make a reservation today.  The "Check Availability" button is located in the upper right of our website's screen.  We look forward to meeting you and to sharing our part of New Orleans with you.

Discover what it means to really fall in love with the real New Orleans.  We're here for you.  You have a friend on Esplanade Avenue.

À votre santé,
Your ever-loving pals at----
La Belle Esplanade

Welcome to the most unique hotel not only in New Orleans but, maybe, in the world.  We look forward to meeting you and to sharing our part of New Orleans with you.

In the meantime, be well, friends.  You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue in New Orleans.  We look forward to meeting you in person.

Saints and Sinners in New Orleans

Nobody is perfect.  We all have weeds in our garden.  You will find both saints and sinners in New Orleans.  Some people look for one kind of person, other people look for the opposite.  Me?  I've spent enough time being an aristocrat of the gutter.  I'll err on the side of good.

Mural of Dr. John on the side of a house.

Who's to judge?  I'm not writing this blog to get into an ontological debate, which is one reason we don't allow comments here.  You are free to do as you please, whistling past the graveyard.  In New Orleans, though, there are signs and symbols of transcendence everywhere you go.  You never know what you'll find when you turn a corner in New Orleans.  It really is magical here.

Statue of St. Jude in a tree.

Keep your eyes open.  Keep your heart open.  Keep your senses sharp.  New Orleans is full of surprises with those who are willing to find them.  Or, you can just get drunk on Bourbon Street.  To each his or her own.  I'm not here to judge.  It's your vacation.

There are both saints and sinners in New Orleans.  There is probably equal proportion of the former to the latter.  40/40 with the other 20% willing to go one way or the other as the wind blows.    Be yourself.  Be true to your code.

Muriel Hauptmann.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?  A mirror contains all sorts of beauty.  New Orleans contains all sorts of beauty.  

New Orleans is a kaleidoscope of a city with different facets and different views all coalescing around a single focal point.  New Orleans can make you dizzy, especially if you stay in the tourist zone.  Outside the tourist treadmill, there is a whole wide and wonderful city out here, full of surprises, full of magic and the stuff from which irreplaceable good memories are made---the kind of good memories that will last a lifetime.

Be a saint or sinner in New Orleans.  La Belle Esplanade is a small craft hotel.  We only have five suites.  We are located on a beautiful street.  La Belle Esplanade is close to the French Quarter and Frenchmen Street, they are just a picturesque stroll away, but La Belle is in the real New Orleans, the authentic New Orleans.  You never know what you'll find when you are in the real New Orleans. It won't be a novelty tee shirt shop.  It will be people going about their lives, happy to share their city with you.  Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.

One of the proprietors at La Belle Esplanade.  Let us be your New Orleans goodwill ambassadors.

When you are ready to get off the typical tourist grid and immerse yourself into the densely woven and richly textured culture of this wonderful city we call home, we hope you'll make your New Orleans headquarters at La Belle Esplanade.  We only have five boutique suites so we tend to fill up early.  Go to our website, read more about we offer, and make a reservation today.  The "Check Availability" button is located in the upper right of our website's screen.  We look forward to meeting you and to sharing our part of New Orleans with you.

Discover what it means to really fall in love with the real New Orleans.  We're here for you.  You have a friend on Esplanade Avenue.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade

Monday, July 1, 2019: Plus ça change plus c'est la même chose.  The more that things change the more they stay the same in New Orleans.  It's magical here.  Stay at the small hotel that has been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans since April 2014, #2 in the United States and #16 in the world.  What do you have to lose? Nothing.  You deserve good memories.

You'll Never Guess What I Saw in New Orleans.

I'm often surprised that more children's books aren't set in New Orleans.  You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  It was a pleasant surprise, as most things that I see in New Orleans are.  In New Orleans, even more than in Chicago, it's your kind of razzmatazz and it has all that jazz.

New Orleans is a city full of magical vistas.

Life and death.  Pleasure and pain.  Angels and devils.  Samaritans and Philistines.  Gain and loss.  Providence and misfortune.  Laughter and tears.  A rollercoaster.  Orange and blue.  Sunny and rainy.  Day and night, and day again---and night, again.  

Shall I list all the streets where you can find pleasant surprises in New Orleans?  Not here.  We don't have the space.  There are books written about New Orleans street names.  You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  You won't find it any book unless Frau Schmitt chooses to publish my posthumous memoirs.  Frau Schmitt is the better half of this operation.  I doubt she would inflict my memoirs on the world.  Tulane University Press, though, that's another story.

Welcome to the New Orleans state of mind.

Life is a parade.  More so in New Orleans.  Life goes on.  It goes on, and on, and on, and on, & on, & on, & on....  One blessing follows the one before it.  Guess what's going to happen tomorrow?  If you said more blessings, you're right.

Spend a week in New Orleans.  Let New Orleans get under your skin, deep in the heart of you.  Let it get so deep that New Orleans will become a part of you.  Then, you'll be changed for the better.  Outside the Garden of Eden, there is no place so nice on God's green Earth as New Orleans.  Many people leave their heart here; then they come back to find it.  New Orleans never disappoints.

You'll never guess what I saw in New Orleans.  We live in a kaleidoscope of a city.

New Orleans is calling you.  You know where you should stay, dontcha?  La Belle Esplanade, the #1 place to stay in New Orleans (according to TripAdvisor) since April 2014, and the #2 small hotel in the United States and the #1 small hotel in the world (as I never get tired of repeating).

You should read the blog on our official website, too.  Here, you are getting a different version.  La Belle Esplanade gone acoustic and uncensored.  On either site you can spend a lot of time trawling through the archives to discover New Orleans secrets and get yourself into a proper New Orleans state of mind.

Speaking of the New Orleans state of mind.  Follow La Belle Esplanade on Facebook.  We post items 2, 3, 5 times a day to share what it is like to live in this wonderful city we call home.  No pictures of Bourbon Street and rarely pictures of the French Quarter.  La Belle Esplanade is located in authentic New Orleans, the part of the city where people live out their lives and make good memories.  You can make good memories here, too.  You should.

Get off the tourist radar and stay at La Belle Esplanade, a small craft hotel on the second-most beautiful street in the city.  Our address is in a very interesting neighborhood full of small museums, nationally famous restaurants, off-the-beaten-path diversions, and all the things that will help you know what it means to love New Orleans.

We're here for you,
La Belle Esplanade
Wednesday, June 26, 2019.

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

We are just simple micro-hoteliers here at La Belle Esplanade.  I know more than one person just spit coffee out their nose when they read that sentence.  To be honest, Frau Schmitt, who is the better half of this operation, is the nicest person you will ever meet, and I, your humble narrator, am a raconteur extraordinaire (I didn't give myself that moniker), a dandy, and a man-about-New Orleans. La Belle Esplanade, the small artisanal hotel we run, is ranked highly on TripAdvisor, and we know it is unlike any other hotel, but we don't like feeling too big for our britches.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  La Belle Esplanade is no Hilton.  

That's a good thing, too:

La Belle is the orange house in the middle.

I don't like to boast or to brag, and, even though I usually post our TripAdvisor award badges at the end of each post, I don't think too much of them.  Not that I dislike them, mind you.  Frau Schmitt and I are humbled that La Belle has been ranked the #1 place to stay in New Orleans since April 2014.  And, we are even more humbled to be counted among the 0.0001% of hotels awarded the Travelers' Choice Award every year.  For those of you who don't know, this award is bestowed on the top 25 places to stay in each country and then the top 25 in the whole world.  We've been named the #2 place to stay in the United States and the #16 place to stay in the world.  Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

That said, the wall next to our breakfast buffet table is starting to look a little TripAdvisor heavy.  We don't really need all these framed certificates to go all the way to the ceiling.  We have twelve-and-a-half foot ceilings in the house:

Sure, there's still empty space but when is enough enough?

We just got two more certificates in the mail today: our 2019 Certificate of Excellence and our 2019 induction into the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.

I haven't framed them yet.  They're just laid out on a table.

Again, I'm not complaining but I don't think anyone outside the hotel industry, knows what it means to be in the TripAdvisor Hall of Fame.  While La Belle Esplanade is flattered and humbled to be inducted, once again, does Joe or Jane Doe care?  They will when they get here and experience what we offer as a small artisanal hotel but before they see the certificates on our wall and ask about them, will they know what the Hall of Fame even is?

It means we've been awarded a certificate of excellence five years in a row.  A certificate of excellence is not a Travelers' Choice Award.  One is a chicken egg, the other is caviar.  Both are good but one is commonplace while the other is sublime.  We're aiming for five Travelers' Choice awards in a row.  Three to go.  

Our TripAdvisor ranking is all based on reviews from people who have stayed at La Belle Esplanade.  Frau Schmitt and I have no control over our ranking.  It is all driven by how our guests have experienced their stay at our small craft hotel.  You know how the best beer comes from a small craft brewery?  It's the same way with hospitality at a small craft hotel.  The best New Orleans memories are made on our street.  Visit like you belong in this wonderful city we call home.

Let your imagination be your guide.

As of this moment, we've received 646 reviews on TripAdvisor.  634 of them rate our inn Excellent.  12 rate our inn Very Good.  Nobody has said their stay is Average, Poor, or Terrible.  Why would they?  La Belle Esplanade is like the Ritz, if the Ritz were in a colorful old mansion and run by only two people.  Only a churl could not be delighted by a gourmet curated breakfast accompanied by good conversation about all things New Orleans.

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.  We try to deliver better value than what our prices lead you to expect.  Why?  Because in New Orleans there is the theory of lagniappe.  Lagniappe is a Creole word that means something extra.  At La Belle Esplanade you will always get something extra, be it personally tailored recommendations, candies on your bed, a selection of locally brewed beer and soda, or, most importantly, a chance to be inducted into the authentic New Orleans state of mind.

There is touristy New Orleans.  You don't need me to tell you about it.  You'll find it.  Your friends who have already visited for bachelor parties or professional conventions or destination weddings or cruise ship stops have already told you about that part of New Orleans.  Then, there is real New Orleans, the authentic city where people live, laugh, and love as they go about their lives raising families and building legacies.  Ours is a city with a culture that is densely woven and richly textured.  You never know what pleasant surprise you'll find when you turn a corner.  New Orleans is not just sugary alcoholic drinks, dueling piano bars, and novelty tee shirt shops.

Walk your boots to La Belle Esplanade.  This is real New Orleans.

When you are ready for real New Orleans off the usual tourist treadmill, you know where to find us.  We are the bright orange house with blue shutters on Esplanade Avenue.  New Orleans is called "America's Most Interesting City" for very good reason.

Check out our website: LaBelleEsplanade.com.  Read our blog there.  There are three years (at least) of archives.  If you think we'll be a good fit for your New Orleans expectations, make a reservation.  The "Check Availability" button is in the upper right of every screen.  Plug in your dates to see what suites we have available.  We only have five suites so we tend to fill up early during the busy seasons.

You have two friends on Esplanade Avenue,
-La Belle Esplanade   

Price is what you pay.  Value is what you get.

The Best Place to Have Brunch in New Orleans

Would you buy a used car from this man?

If you are of a certain age, you'll recognize the man in the picture above.  He never endorsed staying at La Belle Esplanade.  He did visit New Orleans occasionally over his career, but this wasn't a city in which he felt at home.  He never stayed with us.  We're known for making people of all political stripes feel welcome, and we're also known for explaining what makes New Orleans America's Most Interesting City.  I bet if Nixon stayed with us, he would have fallen in love with New Orleans.  We've seen it happen before.

We went to the movies this afternoon...




...but we didn't see Elvis & Nixon.  It wasn't playing at a convenient time.  We're not on vacation, after all.  It only seems like we have all the time in the world.  We do work for a living.

Instead, we went to see something else.  We went to The Theaters at Canal Place for a late matinee.

On to other business---

Your humble narrator

If you follow us on Facebook, you'll recognize this picture.  It was taken a few seconds after the photo that's our profile picture on our Facebook page.  People ask why photos of Frau Schmitt so rarely surface in public.  The answer is simple: one of us is camera shy.  I don't know why:

Frau Schmitt

I think she's beautiful.  I always say Frau Schmitt is the nicest person you'll ever meet.  In this one case, and in this one case only, I am right about these things.

We were having a late lunch at La Crêpe Nanou.  As I've mentioned before, La Crêpe Nanou is a bit out of the way for our guests and the restaurant doesn't take reservations, so a lot of people are hesitant to make the trek out to Prytania Street to chance to take a table.  We've never had a problem getting a table to savor a meal over an hour or two.  Also, La Crêpe Nanou only serves lunch (brunch, really) on Sundays when most of our guests are at a second line parade.  

I'm not trying to paint it like we don't want to have lunch with our guests and that's our main reason for going to La Crêpe Nanou on Sunday afternoons.  Our guests, as Mr. Nixon would have learned had he stayed with us, are wonderful company.  We enjoy the ambience and the food at La Crêpe Nanou on its own merits, irrespective of who may or may not join us there.

Also, it's fun to say La Crêpe Nanou.  It's fun to spell, too.

Let's cover one more subject, since most of these blog installments cover three subjects per post.  I'm a trinitarian.

In a month, we're going to have a new website.  We like our current website, and it's gotten a lot of compliments.  It's just time to move on from big multinational corporate octopi.  One particular multinational corporate octopus bought up our website provider soon after we signed on.  We hung in for awhile, but, really, enough is enough.  We're small business people.  We prefer supporting other small business people.  We'll announce when the new website is up in this forum, which is owned by Google, and on Facebook, of course.

We're really sticking it to the Man.

We take inspiration from another local business from these parts: River Parish Disposal.

During Jazz Fest, River Parish Disposal is really cleaning up, business-wise.  Yes, I know I made a pun there.  Their portable toilets are everywhere.

Portable toilets in City Park

They've probably trademarked their slogan, which is too bad.  I'd like to use it for La Belle Esplanade.

Truer words were never written on the side of a port-o-let

They love that slogan so much that their website isn't riverparishdisposal.com.  It's bizstinks.com.  I'm not talking trash when I say that's marketing genius.  I stand in awe, much as Elvis did when he met the president.

I am perennially awestruck in New Orleans.  We live in a magical city.  You'll see when you get here.

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every morning is a curated breakfast salon.

Postscript and just to be clear:

A manatee

We went to see a matinee, not to see a manatee.

Innkeeper Endorses Trump!!

Fool riding a goat

I thought we needed a boost in blog traffic so I wrote an interesting headline for today's installment.  I'm not really endorsing a future President Trump.  While we do have freewheeling conversations around the breakfast table every morning, and I don't necessarily discourage the topic of politics as much as curtail it, you'll never know my political leanings.  Your humble narrator is a cipher when it comes to my politics.  I have a long history of being a man of mystery and I don't want to let the cat out of the bag now. 

The image above comes from an ongoingly updated archive of medieval manuscript illuminations from Discarding Images.  Let it never be said that your humble narrator doesn't have a variety of variegated interests.

Now, what were we talking about?

The spirit of New Orleans

Our favorite painter, Whalehead King, who has executed (and I use that word justly) most of the original artwork in our inn, is working on a new masterpiece for La France Suite.  It's gonna be a real kinger-dinger!  I was in his studio tonight to get a glimpse of his sketches and the progress he's made so far on the 4'x4' canvas that's going to hang over the bedroom (non-working) decorative fireplace in La France Suite.

The fireplace used to work when our inn was built, but that was over 130 years ago.  There is a fireplace in every room in our house but none of them contain fires.  You provide the spark that burns in your heart when you fall in love with New Orleans.

We asked Whalehead King to replace the Degas print that's hanging there currently and he happily said he was able to figuratively blow the roof off this project.  Here is a photo of what the new original painting will be replacing:

Cotton brokers in New Orleans à la Degas

If you want to see a reproduction of that painting, you can stay at the Degas House, which is a wedding venue and bed and breakfast a block away from our inn.  If you want to see the original, you'll have to visit Ville de Pau, in France.  I read French better than I speak it but I don't read French all that well.  If you want to read the extensive English wikipedia entry on Pau, well, here ya go.  It seems like an interesting place, all things considered.  As interesting as New Orleans?  Regular readers of this blog already know the answer to that question.  I don't need to belabor the obvious.

If this is a bit of an itsy bitsy teeny weeny short entry today, it's because it's French Quarter Festival this weekend.  Ask any innkeeper in New Orleans and they'll be happy to tell you that this is their busiest month!  I don't know what other innkeepers do to keep themselves so busy when nobody is checking in or out because the house if full for the weekend, but it's a good excuse for me to write a short entry.  I know what Frau Schmitt and I have been doing and she says it's free time well spent.  She is usually right about these things.

So there you have it.  If you want to see original artwork, produced locally, so locally you can smell the turpentine wafting over our back garden, you know where to find us.  We're a block away from the Degas house and a mile outside the French Quarter.  Try getting a quiet night's sleep in the Quarter this weekend!

To all of our American friends who live in states that haven't had primaries yet, remember to go out and vote for your man when the time comes.  Oh, you can vote for a woman, too, this year so far if you are so inclined.  A little birdie told me that.  I'm not making any endorsements.   

À votre santé,
La Belle Esplanade
...where every day is a curated breakfast salon.

Some Statues on Poydras Street

The Superdome on Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA

Regular readers of this blog know that your humble narrator's disinterest in abstract sculpture is well-entrenched.  For those of you who are tuning in for the first time, two entries ago involved a hard-hitting exposé of the debate over removing the monuments celebrating the Confederacy in New Orleans.  I ended that installment by saying that, while I don't have much invested in the fight, not being particularly for or against either side of the kerfuffle, my main concern is what will replace the statues of Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and P.G.T. Beauregard.  

The Battle of Liberty Place monument probably should be consigned to history's scrap heap.  

Looking to see what artistic marvels might replace the bronze statues of the three Confederate heroes, a good place to look would be Poydras Street.  The Poydras Street neutral ground is replete with examples of the kind of contemporary sculpture that is usually found in public spaces.  I'm not looking forward to seeing any of it in General Beauregard's place at the end of Esplanade Avenue.

Pink bunny on Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA

Exhibit A is the pink bunny on Poydras street.  If this were in some children's playground or other innocuous space, I probably wouldn't mind it so much, but it's not.  This sculptural fluff is in a place where it is seen by thousands and thousands of people a year in a very prominent place.  What place is that?

In front of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome

It's right in front of the Superdome.  Sheesh.  Regular readers also know that I don't follow sports so it's not like I have strong feelings about dishonoring the New Orleans Saints or anything, but, really? An abstract metal pink bunny in front of the Superdome?  Why?  What gives here?  I must be obtuse.

I'll give the pink bunny one point: at least I know what it's supposed to be.  Not many people can say that about the other sculptures in the Poydras Street neutral ground.  Shall we take a gander at Exhibit B?

Abstract sculpture on Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA

Howzabout Exhibit C?  Another whatzit:

A pile of chrome on Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA

I'm not going to catalog all the abstract sculpture on Poydras Street.  If you live in a city with a well-intentioned public art program, you've puzzled over plenty of this stuff already.  We're not talking about the Cloud Gate in Chicago here.  The subject under consideration is the usual bunch of half-baked junk welded together with a statement of intent to justify its existence in our sight lines.  I know these are harsh words, but, really, I wouldn't mind getting in on that racket.  I need to buy an acetylene torch.

Lest you think I'm just a philistine who frets over abstract art, there are also some realistic sculptures on Poydras Street.  Let's look at the latest additions to New Orleans' inspiring streetscape, shall we?

One half

The other half

These two ladies in bathing caps and bathing suits face each other over a break in the Poydras Street neutral ground where cars make U-turns. They are made of resin and oil.  Here's a look at the artist's statement in front of the one in the black bathing suit.

Carole Feuerman, Kendall Island, Poydras Street, New Orleans, LA

I know it's a bit small to read.  Here's what the last bit says:

"While their outward appearance is often beauty and tranquility, these elegant faces mask a deeper meaning of heroism, endurance and triumph; they are survivors, like the many faces of New Orleans' citizens who braved the hurricane."  

Now, I've read a lot of twaddle in my day.  Regular readers know I've written my fair share of twaddle, too.  This blurb I've just quoted seems to stretch a bit too far for my personal taste.  I assume the hurricane in question is Hurricane Katrina, not Betsy, Ike or Isaac, or any other hurricane that has struck the city that I'm not naming.  What any of those storms have to do with two women in bathing suits and bathing caps with their eyes closed---you got me----I don't know.  Like I say, it seems to be a bit of a stretch.

One half

The other half

Maybe I'm just some yahoo who can't appreciate the finer parts about the fine arts.  You know what my favorite thing of these statues is?  It's that people put Mardi Gras beads around their necks.  They need more beads, a lot more.  

As I was taking the above photos, another guy came up next to me.  Traffic was pretty slow at that point.  No cars were making a U-turn so we had the vantage point to ourselves.  He said, "These are some pretty weird statues, aren't they?"  He said it, I didn't. 

Maybe they could go on top of the pedestal in Lee Circle instead of Robert E. Lee.  Be careful what you wish for.  

Robert E. Lee statue, Lee Circle, New Orleans, LA

If these two bathing beauties, or, these two heroically tranquil and enduringly triumphant bathing survivors, if you prefer, were up that high, how would someone be able to drape them with Mardi Gras beads?  As you know, I'm in favor of more beads.  That's a trade off I'm not willing to endorse.

If you want to know more about the public artwork in our fair city, Frau Schmitt and I are always happy to discuss it over breakfast.  We know where all the best statues are, and most of the lesser ones, too.

À votre santé,

La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.

Why Are Hats So Popular in New Orleans?

Promoting colored straw fedoras all over the city

Last episode, I promised to provide an online tour of the statues that are in the Poydras Street neutral ground, and I know that regular readers who follow this blog have been sitting on the edge of their futons waiting to read my modern public art critique.  Sorry to disappoint, as we sometimes do here on the 2200 block of Esplanade Avenue.  Just read our reviews.  

If you don't mind, not that you have any choice in the matter, I'd like to pause in our overall narrative arc, such as it is, to discuss the popularity of hats in New Orleans.  You'll see a lot of men wearing hats if you come to visit.  You'll see a lot of women wearing hats, too, but men in New Orleans love hats.  Your humble narrator is one of those.  I always wear a hat.

We had brunch at La Crêpe Nanou this afternoon and a couple came in who had dyed their hair the same color.  I didn't have my camera with me, and it would have been rude, anyway, to snap a pic of them, so I'll give you a picture of the outside of La Crêpe Nanou instead:

Yummy Yummy, North Carrolton Ave, New Orleans, La

Well, I looked through my files and I couldn't find the Crêpe Nanou pictures.  Here's a picture of the Yummy Yummy Chinese Restaurant on North Carrolton Avenue instead.  You'll have to use your imagination.  Pretend it's La Crêpe Nanou.  I wrote about La Crêpe Nanou a few weeks ago.  You can read that scintillating illustrated post here.  

The couple who had dyed their hair the same color looked like darned fools, if I can be excused for observing so.  I'm very accepting of eccentricity, being a crank, myself, but something wasn't working with the magenta hair pairing.  I figured one of them had bought the bottle of dye at Walgreens and there was plenty left over---why can't we both do it?  "---Sure, I love ya, baby."

Plenty of people look like darned fools sometimes, your humble narrator included.  That isn't something we should hold against anyone when we meet them.  Foolishness is something that needs to be proven.  Some people may be misguided, but that isn't a black mark against them, even if they have dyed their hair magenta in solidarity, or love, or mutual respect, or whatever tomfool I-Dream-of-Jeannie reason they might claim.

I said to Frau Schmitt that we should do that, dye our hair the same color.  This way people will know we're a couple, as if our wedding rings weren't proof enough.  Plus, it would be a kind of branding.  If our guests see somebody with hair of a color not found in nature (magenta) they would know they were bumping into one of their hosts.  The La Belle Esplanade Magenta Squad (TM)!!

"This isn't one of your best ideas," Frau Schmitt said, and she is usually right about these things.  She is especially right because it would be her walking around with magenta hair all day.  Me, I'd be wearing a hat.  I love to wear hats.  

For me, it would be like having the word 'KICK' tattooed on one buttock and 'ME' tattooed on the other.  Who would know?  It's not like I walk around New Orleans without pants.  It's the same way I wear a hat.  My hat covers my microencephaly.

A trio of jokers

When people ask me where to buy a hat in New Orleans, I always send them to Meyer the Hatter.  It is the oldest and largest hat store in the South.  The shop is on the first block of St. Charles Avenue, just off Canal Street.  They don't have the least expensive selection, only the best.  If you want to buy a flimsy cheap hat made in China, there is always the French Market at the end of our street.  If you want to buy a Mexican-made straw hat, of which I own one, there is a shop for that.  If you want a Goorin Brothers hat, there are two Goorin locations in New Orleans.  I can tell you where to go.  If you want a quality hat that will fit you, and suit you, and last you a lifetime: go old school.  Go to Meyer the Hatter.

Why are hats popular in New Orleans?  It isn't because people are ashamed of their bad dye jobs.  It isn't because most New Orleans men are bald either.  It's because people like to dress up in New Orleans.  This is a city that hews to tradition.  Nobody in New Orleans stopped wearing hats because JFK had a good head of hair.  They never stopped wearing hats.  When you look good, you feel good.  Everybody knows that.  Not everybody knows how to look good, but people who live in New Orleans know exactly how to do just that.  It's a way of life.  Je ne c'est quoi, bébé.   That's why hats are common in New Orleans.  They shade the eyes and enhance a person's profile and public persona.  

Why wear a hat in New Orleans?  Because that's what people here do.  When in New Orleans, forget your cares.  You may look foolish anywhere else, but you won't look foolish here.  New Orleans loves you.

À votre santé,

La Belle Esplanade bed and breakfast.